EP 232: Reader Question - How can I stop compulsive lying about my drinking?

Lying is an easy habit to fall into…but not such an easy one to break. If we’ve been open about the fact that we want to change our drinking habits, but it’s proving easier said than done, we don’t want to look like a failure. SO….sometimes a little lie here and there helps us save face. But, these little lies can quickly turn into a nasty force of habit. How do we break the cycle? Is therapy the answer? In today’s episode, Annie gives us some insight into ‘why’ we lie and ‘how’ to stop.

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Why are we lying about drinking even if we have support around us? Is there really a way to stop lying about drinking and be successful at stopping?

Most drinkers find themselves at some point lying about drinking. There's a lot of reasons that people lie and some of them are relatively easy to fix and some of them actually need significant therapy.


The mind is an interesting thing because we think "oh we'll just stop!" but like any addiction that's turned into a habit - "oh well just stop" doesn't always work. So we need other strategies to put into place.

Lying about Drinking

First let's look at why people lie. People lie because we behave badly and we want to look good to other people. We want to save face , to control other people to tell them what we want them to hear or make them do what we want them to do. Often it can just be a sheer force of habit, something we've been doing for years and years and years. Lying about drinking is protection. We'd like to protect ourselves, to protect our emotions, and even to protect people around us. Sometimes we're just more comfortable with lies for all of those reasons.

[katherinechase]

Maybe deciding to not discuss drinking at all for awhile may help. A mutual control issue could be at hand here, it should be his decision to stop for himself alone, ultimately.

[HelotesHellRaiser]

With most substances disorders lying has been a coping mechanism for years if not decades. It is almost automatic and can be difficult to stop. Even after the addiction is long gone sometimes the lying is still there. It is so destructive even sometimes worse than the substance use itself.