Growing up with a Schizophrenic mother - My Story

Schizophrenia is a mental health disorder that affects about 1% of the human population. At first that might not seem like a lot... But what that percentage really means is that 1 out of every 100 people on the planet suffers from this disease. When you think about it that way, this is a mental health disorder that truly touches all of us in some way. And yet, Schizophrenia is not often openly talked about due to the stigma and shame that has surrounded it. Now that we're opening up about other common mental health problems, it's time to talk about and heal our biases and beliefs around schizophrenia. With the right help, it's a treatable condition just like depression or anxiety. I hope this video, and my story, helps those who need help find it.

In this video I want to tell you my story about growing up with a schizophrenic mother. It was not easy, and unfortunately no one in my family had the know-how or proper tools to understand how to compassionately handle her condition. She died in May 2020, and it's my deepest hope that my own learning and experience with this condition can help someone else. Thank you so much for watching. 💜

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#mentalhealthawareness #schizophrenia

[ThisIsMia]

I, too, had a mother with schizophrenia. A single mother, but violent, and terrifying. She is still alive but heavily medicated and has dementia. As young children, my two older sisters and I somehow survived her many attempts to un-alive us. I am now 56 and on disability due to this. Someday, I want to tell our story. Thanks for sharing yours.

[brandy]

My mom has schizophrenia too. She was extremely violent and cruel. My extended family believed mental illness was a moral failing. As a result, they wanted to keep it a secret. I was 8 when she was diagnosed, and the language I was given to explain what was going on with her only minimized it, and it really gaslighted me. My grandmother would say that my mother had a “little chemical imbalance, but she takes a pill everyday and she is totally normal.” None of that was true. My mother did not take the advice of her doctor, and wasn’t consistent with her meds, and when she was it only sort of worked. My grandmother convinced me that this was all normal, and I spent most of my life not understanding why she hated me, and trying to manage her rage and violence. She would constantly bounce between boiling blinding rage, and blubbering sobbing on the floor. She had so many delusions about people all over town, and would drag me and my brother on her quests to practically stalk them. I always knew she was sick, and I knew the things she believed were wrong, but I did not understand so much of her behavior was the result of her illness. The only thing I ever felt from her is pure disdain, hatred, and a bizarre sense of entitlement to me and clinginess. I walked away when I was in my 30s, after my second child was born. I couldn’t keep dealing with her while my family kept insisting that everything is fine, and I just needed to do more to manage her outbursts.

[wesheart]

Im glad your mom is no longer suffering. People with schizophrenia are often suffering more than anyone ever imagines. The pain physical and emotional the loneliness and confusion. Very heartbreaking.

[patriciafrost]

The fact that you have found forgiveness for your mom is commendable but at the same time, I pray you don't accept false guilt.

[dove]

I am sorry that your mom went through this, she needed treatment. I had an aunt that was diagnosed with schizophrenia before I was even born. She had a very traumatic childhood. However, she was one of the nicest caregivers I ever had. When I was around 4 I realized she would be talking to herself, and laughing. She was a beautiful soul. I miss her so much! She taught many good things. Even though she was sick, the relatives didn't provide her with the love respect, and care she deserved. She was used as their unpaid babysitter, she ran all of the errands for the family every single day. She would walk to every store, there were no cars in our home. I think she only rested on Sundays because all the stores where closed. Otherwise they would have her working 7 days a week. While the supposedly" healthy ones" sat around and enjoyed life. She enjoyed reading, that was her escape. She was the most peaceful too. She never married, she was single, and she was happy.

[sass]

Over 90 thousand people have heard your mother’s story. It is an important story. Thank you for sharing ❤

[jjsmith]

I want to thank you for honoring your mother, and commend you for your bravery in telling her story. It's YOUR story, too. Anxiety and Panic Disorder runs in my family, and my 39 year old son is crippled by it, and always has been. He is a big, handsome, extremely intelligent and honorable young man, and all that goes to waste because the anxiety holds him prisoner. Luckily, he does go for counseling and he has an amazing wife, but he can't seem to get past the illness. I worry for him every day and wish he could go out and live a happy life. So many are suffering in silence, so people like you who tell their stories, are a blessing to those who feel alone.

[Denise-yjse]

Family cannot get loved one help unless loved one agrees to it. The loved one affected does not believe that they have a mental illness

[SheedaVision]

I grew up with a mother who has schizophrenia as well. In fact there are many people with in my extended family have mental illnesses. It was and still is very difficult to interact with my mom at times. She informed me of some of the environmental factors from her childhood and I think this contributed to her developing schizophrenia. Ultimately, I love my mom because she’s my mom and she did the best she could but there’s a lot of pain there. One day I hope to go to therapy to discuss these things. Sending love your way ❤

[lindamcgregor]

I am one year older than your mum. I have suffered from mental health issues for most of my life, not schizophrenia. I too have also been called crazy, attention seeking and worse. I have always accepted help for my disorders, although for the last few years there is none. I have been on the medication roundabout and had several hospital admissions. I raised 3 children as a single parent and am now estranged from all of them as well as my biological family. I had 3 bad relationships with men and have lived on my own for the last 10 years since my youngest son left home. I haven't had a man in my life for 36 years. I now live only with my 2 dogs. I have always had a good relationship with animals and have always had my fair share of many different types. I got all my emotional support from my dear dad who passed away 4 years ago. My life has gone downhill ever since.
Thankyou for sharing your story it reminds me a lot of my own and has me in tears.

[happycook]

My friend from high school also had a single mom with schizophrenia. It was terrible beyond words. Her mom told her she could only get dressed under the covers because men were watching through the ceiling lightbulbs. They could only shower in the absolute dark for the same reason. Her mom had so many rules about everything. Rules that were outrageous and didn't make sense designed to protect against spies, poisonings from spies, the devil, voices, etc. A tragic, difficult childhood. My friend got pregnant at 16 and her mom thought the devil made the baby! The baby was placed in an open adoption. My own experience with schizophrenia was when I saw the neighbors' son change from a bright, early high school graduate, graduated college in 3 years, entered medical school. 1 year into medical school he washed out. The medical school told his dad they suspected onset of schizophrenia. The disease devastated him. He stopped hygiene, refused haircuts, long scraggly beard, mumbling nonstop, wild eyes, etc. He suicided. A terrible tragedy back in the early 80's.

[jacquelineleitch]

I am a schizophrenic mother. Schizophrenia is an inherited tendency from my father’s family. It has been a struggle but as I have come from a massively dysfunctional family which has managed to run under the radar. So my philosophy as a Mom has been to let my kids win all the wars unless it is a health or safety issue. I let them know early on that trying drugs would not be on their schedule because it had a 40% chance of triggering schizophrenia. I have also stressed proper nutrition and activity and rest. Also, I waited to have kids until I basically had my schizophrenia basically controlled or controllable and because I used vitamins, diet and lifestyle to treat my illness, I was physically healthy. So my kids are really great. They are healthy, responsible, and have good jobs and good friends.

[MrTurtluv]

My mother was ALL of the things you mentioned, which freaks me out…but she was very abusive, neglectful, and violent with me too. I got taken away from her twice and put into foster care…or she’d drop me off on somebody’s porch. I was basically raised by a string of relatives. My father was never involved, and she said she hated me because I looked just like him. She also was diagnosed both Schizophrenic and Bipolar/Manic Depressive on top of it. And this was all in the 80’s/90’s. I was very scared of her, and never got the chance to understand her because she committed suicide. In hindsight, schizophrenia is hell. They actually hear/see things.
I’m sorry you went through what you did❤️

[Cgruiz]

My mother has had paranoia schizophrenia my whole life. Before i was born with my siblings said she had issues then. So my mother has been suffering from schizophrenia her whole life, undiagnosed.
My mother thinks its normal.
The chaos, thinking everyone is out to get her.
My mother and i barely have a relationship now. Shes 73, she’s just a shell of her mental illnesses, schizophrenia, ptsd, bipolar, depression, yeah my mother has alot of issues. Because of her childhood abuse from my grandparents. narcissistic rages,
My mother never found help,
It was hard for me growing up. Dealing with it.
I really discovered okay there’s something wrong when i was 32.
Now im taking care of myself, when i see someone struggling with mental illness, it isnt funny. It breaks my hearrt.

[wishingyoupeace]

Wow what a beautiful daughter you are for embracing all of this. I’m so sorry for all of the suffering you both endured. Thank you for this video.

[khadijaejaz]

You must have so many unmet needs from your childhood. Children desperately want to be seen and understood by their mothers. I can hear those old wounds in your voice even in your mother's last days. Much love to you, I hope you get your healing.

[WeRNthisToGetHer]

I don't know which sounds worse, having schizophrenia or being raised by a parent with it. My mom has untreated mental illness but she is at least relatively sound of mind compared to schizophrenia. Possibly autism. My heart goes out to you. You are very compassionate and understanding of the illness. That is a beautiful thing. Blessings to you and your family.❤

[adimeter]

Except for the homelessness, sounds like you are describing my mom. She talked weird and depressing talk ALL day long. As a teenager I would escape from the house as early in the day as possible. But once I got married and my father died I realized she needed help. her psychiatrist was able to help her and within 3 weeks she was released to come home. From there she gradually improved. I never has sense enough to ask him what her diagnosis. Thank you for sharing this. I am 76 yrs ol and have had a little bit of therapy. From California.

[winnieewing]

I would like to comfort you by saying that you're mother brought a beautiful person into this world. ❤️💐

[ciannat]

Your story has me in tears, this is so similar to my own story with my mothers schizophrenia. Thank you for sharing your story.