Therapist Reacts to Confessions of Parents Who Regret Having Children

Therapist Reacts to Confessions of Parents Who Regret Having Children //

Do you know a parent who regrets having children? Maybe it's you and it feels horrible to admit such a thing? We get it, it's a hard job! Watch this video as this therapist reacts to the popular reddit thread.

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#ParentsWhoRegretHavingChildren

[cfrost]

I'm someone who knows I don't want kids. I don't want that responsibility. What gets me is that I've been told I'll change my mind or that I'll regret not having kids. I would rather regret not having kids than have kids and regret having them. If you want kids have them; if you don't want kids, don't let anyone pressure you into having them.

[andreagriffiths]

Parenthood didn’t happen and rarely I wished it had…right up until my brother had his beautiful daughter. My niece has taught me that I wouldn’t make a good mother. And this is ok. I can be a good aunt. I can give her experiences and love and hand her back. I can be there for her and help inspire her and not have to deal with her 24/7. And this is ok. It takes a village to raise a child but not everyone in that village needs to be a parent.

[gaialily]

I've had several women friends, in our private conversations, tell me they wish they never had kids. They love them dearly, and are GREAT mothers, but had regretted their decision. I also know a LOT of older women who didn't have children, and all of them say they never regretted it. I've listened and learned.

[jodiehinds]

I’m on the other side of this situation as I was a regret baby. My mom wasn’t abusive but one of my earliest memories was her telling me she didn’t like me but she loved me because she had to. She tried to get my grandparents to adopt me & I remember her trying to get me to call my grandpa daddy. Even tho she provided for me I picked up on her underlying feelings. When I had kids I made darn sure they knew they were loved & wanted every single day.

[Wednesdaywoe]

If we were a society that told the truth, we would accept that about 30% of people should not have kids. And we would all be much happier.

[spacecavy]

Would you consider doing a flipped version of this video? As in, how to escape the self loathing of being raised by parents who did not try to hide the fact that they did not want or enjoy you? Ever since I was very small my mother constantly told me that being a parent was awful, that her life was over because she had me, that I was selfish when I was just being a kid. I'm sure I'm not the only one who was raised like this.

[Thecraftyblacksheep]

As a single mom to a beautiful 18 month old girl; I struggle with this. Most of the time I’m tired, stressed and frustrated. I do regret becoming a mother. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s no breaks. No me time. I feel like I’ve lost myself. If you have any doubt in your heart about having kids …. Don’t do it.

[bathsalt]

My cousin urged me to have children when i got married, She was persistent but too bad for her I'm not someone easily swayed or pressured. I asked her why she had kids she said "because that's what married ppl do", i was like "wtf, makes no sense to me". Then she went on to say that I'm bound to have a divorce if i do not have have kids because i have nothing between me and my husband to hold us together *crickets*. Guess who got divorce and became a single mother of 2 kids. Ppl should just mind their own business.

[ezrea]

My mother was never cut out to be a parent, but she took that out on my siblings and me. I heard more than once growing up that she regretted having us, she'd be so much happier if we weren't born, and if she could, she'd go back and never have us. I understand parenting is a extremely difficult, but there's never a reason to tell your child that you regret having them. All it does is hurt them in ways that can't really be undone

[mason]

I think a lot of people wish they didn’t have kids, but it’s taboo to admit that. I think people should have children if they want and people who don’t want kids shouldn’t be shamed.

[carleighrousseau]

Since I was 15, I said I didn’t want kids. I’m now 30 and I feel the same. People say my mind will change but I doubt that. This video and article are very validating 🙌🏻

[OrchidScent]

A mother with children will never have peace. You want to love and cuddle something, get a dog or a cat. It's easier. Children are naturally needy and demanding. This job is stressful, very demanding and frustrating. Children are not for the faint hearted. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't choose being a mother again. It is too hard. From young to adulthood, the struggles and worries just never ends.

[martialartess]

I empathize with the mom who admitted to counting the days until her kids are out of the house. I felt that when my daughter was young and again while she was in her teenage years. But now my daughter is 25 and lives on the other side of the country from me and I find I miss having her home. And it all happened in a blur. She was just a baby yesterday and now she's a grown adult. I hated being a mom. I was a lousy mother--I'm not (and never have been ) always-patient, cookie-baking, stay-at-home mom. But my daughter still waxes poetically about how I was the "cool mom"--I was the single mother who worked in TKD school, who earned more than one black belt, who had the Steam account. I never baked cupcakes for my child's class, but I made sure she had lunch (or lunch money) and protein snacks for those hypoglycemic blood sugar drops. I made sure she got to school on time and was picked up on time and I never missed an IEP meeting or parent-teacher conference.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you hate being a mom, try just being a parent. I found that much easier to manage because I wasn't locked into this box of what a "mom" is, not locked into society's thoughts of what a mom had to be. Did it help me love being a parent? Absolutely not, but it did help make the job more doable. And I am now someone my daughter comes to for advice and the news of her life. I don't know if she shares everything with me, but she shares a lot. Being a parent was the hardest job I've ever done and it was a really rocky road. But it goes by in a flash, even though it doesn't feel like it when you're in the middle of it. Look for the small joys and focus on those. Find the things you *do* love about parenting your kids (I adored reading to my daughter at the end of the day) and try not to beat yourself up too much about the rest.

[michellewall]

I’m 57... child best decision I’ve ever ! Couldn’t have handled the responsibilities, daily drudgery, the noise.... love my quiet life and total freedom!

[Flowerpower-hq]

I’m 33 this year and still haven’t changed my mind. I’m not childless. I’m child-free

[katkanegyke]

My own mother told me she never wanted children, she was just pressured to have. I’m 37 now and we had this conversation a couple of years ago, she said she loves me dearly but she knew she never wanted kids and if she could go back she wouldn’t start a family. And for sure my childhood was miserable. My mother was emotionally absent, and I’ve been working on myself to heal these wounds. So ladies! If you don’t want kids, don’t have them! Please! Because I’m a living example of how to fuck up an other person’s life by doing exactly the opposite of your true desire. (I have a nice friendship with my mother, but it’s never been a mother-daughter bond. We love each other, it’s just messed up… 😢)

[Twiggyanajones]

These stories are important. We need to normalize not having/wanting kids. Kids are not for everyone and we need to embrace that. We also need to normalize regretting having kids ( even if its just missing the days when you were child free.) I absolutely adore and love my children, I would die for them. But if I were in my 20s again I probably wouldn't have them. Post partum depression paired with this "Moms must sacrifice everything about themselves on the altar of their children" is like being hit with a freight train. That can be so overwhelmingly hard to cope with. I've gotten through it, but some people just cant.

[luciafloria]

I hate how society expects everyone to be the same like we have to fit in a small box or we get bullied for it

[scofieldvictoria]

I’m nearly 30 and still single/childless. I’m pretty sure I don’t want kids and that I’m not really cut out for it. I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them.

It bothers me when people, especially relatives, talk to my 14-year-old niece like it’s a given that she’ll get married and have kids. She’s not interested at the moment and it makes her uncomfortable. Whenever I talk to her about future marriage/kids I always emphasize the word IF and try to enforce the idea that it’s her choice and she has time to decide. She really appreciates that.

[minymoe]

I was convinced that I did not want children but we as a couple decided to be foster parents. We ended up adopting the very first child we fostered. A beautiful newborn baby girl, we got to love her so much that we couldn't let her go. It was so hard at first but it did get easier with time. She is now 7 years old and it has been such a rewarding experience, would not change it for the world. She is an amazing child, gives us so much joy and unconditional love. Still, I have to say being a parent is hard and surely not for everybody.