Nathan Wagner - Opiate

#NathanWagner #Opiate

Huge shout out to David Zach from remedy drive and the guys from 4th point for helping get this story encapsulated into a song. Not long ago I was recommended a “Healthy” “Natural” medication to help treat depression/anxiety. As someone in pain, you’re willing to try almost anything to feel better. That’s why the first line of this track specifically almost always hits a chord in me. “I just wanted to feel better.” To my amazement, it worked. The storm inside, was gone. The constant neurosis, was lifted. Instead of getting through the day, the day was enjoyable. Everything more vibrant. Didn’t walk into rooms with the assumption that I’m a bother and everyone hated me. All was good. Until it wasn’t. And then it took larger doses. And then some more. And then more to feel worse than I did prior. So I had to detox. Love you guys so much. I don’t know if there’s ever been a scarier song to send out into the world. But if it help someone it’s all worth it. So here it is. Love each and every one of you.

I didn't realize it was Memorial Day when I scheduled this release. "There's no greater love than one who lays down their life for another." No words can ever express my gratitude.

Lyrics:
I just wanted to feel better, 
Now I sweat here in the dark 
Oh I'm struggling to remember
How I even let this start

You said you’d heal me
That’d you’d reveal the
better version of myself 

You’re only stealing
You use me up and
Just to leave me on the shelf 

Said you’d free me from these gallows,
Just to fancy up my hell
All I wanted was some sunshine
Not a lantern in my cell

You’re an artificial solace 
You’re a counterfeit relief 
Always meet me at my lowest 
Just to multiply my grief 

Oh, Oh, 
 
I just wanted to feel something
really anything at all
But now it’s taking higher doses 
To get back to my default

You said you’d heal me
That’d you’d conceal this
Gaping hole inside my heart 
Just one more gram
You’re such a scam
I Should’ve known it from the start

Said you’d free me from these gallows,
Just to fancy up my hell
All I wanted was some sunshine
You’re a lantern in my cell

You’re an artificial solace 
You’re a counterfeit relief 
Always meet me at my lowest 
Just to multiply my grief 

You said you’d free me from these gallows,
Just to fancy up my hell
All I wanted was some sunshine
Not this lantern in my cell

You’re an artificial solace 
Just a chemical relief 
Always meet me at my lowest
And take everything from me

[nathanwagner]

I didn't realize it was Memorial Day when I scheduled this release. "There's no greater love than one who lays down their life for another." No words can ever express my gratitude.

[nathanwagner]

Huge shout out to David Zach from remedy drive and the guys from 4th point for helping get this story encapsulated into a song. Not long ago I was recommended a “Healthy” “Natural” medication to help treat depression/anxiety. As someone in pain, you’re willing to try almost anything to feel better. That’s why the first line of this track specifically almost always hits a chord in me. “I just wanted to feel better.” To my amazement, it worked. The storm inside, was gone. The constant neurosis, was lifted. Instead of getting through the day, the day was enjoyable. Everything more vibrant. Didn’t walk into rooms with the assumption that I’m a bother and everyone hated me. All was good. Until it wasn’t. And then it took larger doses. And then some more. And then more to feel worse than I did prior. So I had to detox. Love you guys so much. I don’t know if there’s ever been a scarier song to send out into the world. But if it help someone it’s all worth it. So here it is. Love each and every one of you.

[oblivion]

"All I wanted was some sunshine
Not a lantern in my cell"

Adore that line!

[randifaye]

“All I wanted was some sunlight, not a lantern in my cell.” That hits deep.

[reinstriver]

My grandma also says she loves this. She said you're unmatched in this style of music. I agree wholeheartedly :D

[osg]

Ive been Struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. My husband is deployed and he sent me this song this morning. This is spot on. We both love your music. Your songs and voice evoke such emotion. Thank you and please never stop making music.

[reinstriver]

Dude, ah! The amount of MEANING in these lyrics is just... I love it. It's been a while since one of your songs felt THIS meaningful! Not that the others aren't, there's tons of meaningful stuff in all your lyrics. But this one was on another level! I love it. So great and grand. I'll definitely be listening to this tons! To the Nathan Wagner playlist it goes!

[lu-quinn]

I'm obsessed with your songs, truly beautiful works, thank you for sharing them always ♥ Hope you're doing better

[firefall]

Thank you so much. Your music has helped me whenever I feel my lowest. They are my detox and they give me strength to pray and keep going.

[Draconis]

I have never shared this before, so sorry if it's not appropriate.

This song speaks so hard to my heart and my shame. I once had a medical issue that left me in terrible pain. The doctors put me on enough of a strong opiate to kill most of the pain. Unfortunately, I got addicted and by the time I realized what was going on I was far beyond just feeling physical pain when not on the meds. I arrived at the opinion that I needed the medicine as it was all that could make me feel normal in addition to dulling both my mental and physical pain. I could rationalize most of my actions to get opiates by claiming "I needed them." To this day, I am still constantly desiring them and am only not seeking them because... well, honestly, I don't know why. I hate them so much it hurts, but I constantly want them anyway.

That is kind of an overview of why this song hits so deep in me. Thank you for making it, truly.

[ripfps]

This song and i miss you have helped me realize im not alone. My fiance who i love with every being in me died a year ago to her addiction. I fought her demons relentlessly to keep her alive took beating for her debts, payed her debts only to loose her to more then one overdose. Have never been the same since. I havent found a way to talk to people other then my therapist. Complicated bereavment is hard but it is nice to know im not alone.

[jasminelima]

Lately been struggling with memories and triggers and haven’t been sleeping at night but your songs have helped me sleep more and not be afraid of the dark.

[benjaminmayer]

Not only is one of the best performed songs you've made recently, but the lyrics are so important and impactful in our generation! Fantastic job!

[giadazangani]

Nathan this song reminds me of my old memories too I felt hated by everyone just because I was different I didn't talk to anyone they gave me a monster sometimes I wanted to be invisible from everyone so as not to be seen by anyone so as not to hear those voices behind me . then I have been for 15 years I spent 5 years in the year but then slowly when I finished school I was able to go on. but you know what Nathan that the past is just the past. the only thing that interests us is the present and the future. why give up or not give up you shouldn't throw yourself back because yesterday passed tomorrow is a mystery. but today it is a great gift that is why it is called present. I now smile with you with your wonderful voice and your wonderful songs which for me are angels and spirits that help me face against my epilepsy. but you know what I smile about because I have my idol that is you Nathan and thanks for this wonderful song. because you always remain my idol I will paint your printed smile with you

[SniPeWE]

I can't stop listening that's so addictive! from france <3!

[Entertainment-eftc]

He never disappoints with his soulful voice and meaningful lyrics !! God bless you...keep it up.

[shivaniraju]

I've been obsessed.. This is. Wow.
Just wow

You pour so much emotion into each song... I have no idea how you do it.
You're amazing

[gingercalz]

Only listened to 3 seconds and I’ve immediately fallen in love with the song

[louevans]

Your music speaks volumes. It feels as if you found the words to speak from the very soul.

To know another person feels what your words speak to, what you carry on your voice... It is a sadness and a relief.

I wish you every happiness and peace in this world.

Thank you for sharing pieces of yourself. It brought me clarity at a moment when I really truly needed it most.

[pandoraedits_]

Thank you for sharing such a personal life experience of yours once again through your song. We truly appreciate it and as incredibly as it may seem, you do help a lot of us with your music and testimony. You help me. ❤❤ Keep your head up, you know you're gifted for this and there's a reason you've went through all you've went through. Never let the fire inside your heart to fade. You're not alone, Nathan. ❤❤❤ Thank you for this song. God bless you!!! 🙌