DEAR MEN, THIS IS WHY WOMEN REJECT POLYGAMY - IT'S NOT JUST JEALOUSY

Asalamualaikum, in this video I give a range of reasons why some women in Islam refuse to take part in polygamy. Yes jealousy can be a big reason but there are other reasons that I want men to consider.
This video is for the men who can't understand where the wife is coming from when she refuses to be part of polygamy.
Polygamy is not by force in Islam. It is a choice that a Muslim can choose to enter or leave if the situation is harmful to her.
As believing women we believe in it, we can engage in it if we want to but it is a choice.
There is wisdom in everything Allah allows so we as believing women should not reject it as an Islamic law but we should also know that it is not forced nor should it be forced on anyone.
By Islamic law, a man does not have to seek his wife's permission to marry another wife but Muslim leaders always encourage them to do so as best practise. Some Muslim countries have made part of their law that he must get her approval first to avoid problems.
A man who loves his wife and values his relationship with her should always be open and clear so as to not destroy the love and trust that his current wife has for him.
I hope you all enjoy this video.
Be sure to like, comment & share.

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This video is created with the islamic perspective in mind however, whoever finds it relevant and beneficial is also more than welcome to take lessons from it.

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[NafisasPearlz]

Sisters, LET’S SHARE THIS VIDEO AND HAVE OUR VOICES HEARD!

[Tresdrole]

My family members used to bully my mum in front of my dad by jokingly suggesting he marry a second wife. This caused me to feel sick when I heard men talking about polygamy because I viewed it as a way of creating conflict between women and therefore enforcing control. I look forward to watching this video to return to Allahs wisdom behind the practice and the kind sunnah of it all. Barakallah feeki for this video, sister.

[kaibnax]

A woman is tested when her husband has nothing. A man is tested when he has everything.

[SandraStachowiczLtd]

Oftentimes polygamy is used as a distraction and excuse not to work on what is in right front of you, especially if the couple are experiencing marital problems The man's thinking goes something like this "My wife is making me miserable Let me get another wife that can make me happy" It's flawed thinking because at the end of the day the only person we have control of is ourselves No one and nothing can make us happy but ourselves Polygamy will never solve your marital problems That's like trying to solve an internal issue with external solutions when the only person we should be staring at is the person looking back at us in the mirror

[CompactCognition]

JazakAllah khair, I think all men need to watch this video and deep it.

As a man, if you can’t afford the cost of two whole households by yourself, you should not be getting a second wife.

If your wife still pays for some of her stuff, you should not be getting a second wife.

If you have arguments with your wife or some “irreconcilable” dispute, you are not ready to get a 2nd wife.

A lot of weak an immature men who are not ready for polygyny are sadly allowed to go through with it.

Imams setting these marriages up need to do more to determine no injustice is taking place.

Or maybe the father of the prospective 2nd wife needs to do better in vetting these men.

As a man, you are Qawammun, Allah placed you as the provider for your family.

The average man today has been sadly weakened, islamically, mentally, physically, financially

[yellowmellow]

And the whole “sick wife” thing is just atrocious. Imagine being sick and now you lose support and gain emotional pain along with the physical. People truly don’t understand what they even say.

[salma]

Popular male figures on the online dawah scene have made a complete mess of the polygamy topic, they focus too much on the male perspective, and when they dabble into the female perspective they immediately jump to the jelousy conclusion and wrap up the topic. I really like how sr Nafisa breaks down each of the reasons besides jealousy (just to clarify jelousy in an of itself is also a VERY valid feeling in this situation as well) and why some women will refuse to engage in polygamy. This video was much needed alhamdulilah, I hope it goes viral.

[zanjabeelshamudeen]

Absolutely on the nose. Someone who loves you will care about how their decisions affect you. Real men don’t stomp on their woman’s heart to get to another one. it’s honestly so sad that this has to be explained. If these men wanted to practice the religion correctly they would take into account kindness, empathy, and love.

It’s simple, if you can’t even take care of the financial, physical, and spiritual well-being of your wife, don’t take another one! They forget they will be questioned about the treatment of their wives on the day of judgement.

Smh. May Allah be with all of the women going through this trial. Ameen.

[-glitch-]

There’s one thing you didn’t touch up on that I think is a key takeaway from this. Men always want to put us through something they themselves cannot handle. Just the thought of another man so much as so looking at his wife fills him with anger and rage. But that’s not jealousy or emotionalism apparently. I mean men would literally shoot each other in the face if polygamy was the other way around. I say that simply to make a point. But we’re the hysterical emotional freaks because we get jealous and cry. That to me is hilarious because it shows you how men have such a false perception about themselves as these stoic logical creatures when they’re anything but that 😂 Their jealousy is supposedly “protective”. Ours is just there. So they can explain their feelings, but we can’t.

I’m sorry sister. I commend you for this video especially as I sister who has struggled with marriage a lot and just decided to opt out because it’s not something I can see myself doing.
For me it’s reached a point where it’s not even worth it. I value my space and tranquility so much. I wouldn’t be able to tolerate nonsense because I don’t even tolerate it from myself 😂

[Maythelordbewithme]

Most of these men don’t bother telling their wife they just go behind the wife’s back.

[Itsjusthawaa]

This video is what all men need to watch at the masjid or at Eid prayer or something . My father can’t even provide for his kids and he’s trying to marry another wife, as an elder sister this traumatized me so much like you can’t even give 200$ to your current wife and kids to spend on themselves and you want another one for what ? This is the reason if I do get married inshaallah I’ll tell my husband up front, if you want another wife, give me my divorce because growing up with that miserable household I refuse to live it again

[Tameva]

Polygamy was actually recommended to HELP women who are orphans and widows, and otherwise to settle political unease/to balance the gender-marriage ratio. And men are using polygamy only from the male perspective to satisfy their sexual desires. It's not nice.

[sarhiar]

My mom has this story where she basically says that she’s seen brothers want polygamy but instead of taking care of their wives, they have basically these women living off government programs and section 8 housing because these men barely had the means to take care of one wife and family let alone 3 more. Husbands must provide the life she was raised in and more.

[jessmindarus]

It has always disgusted me when a man practiced polygamy, and many of them cannot even afford a wife. A woman who marries a man who is already married is usually out of desperation, and the man is taking advantage of the situation. There are few circumstances that should be allowed, e.g if the woman is not able to have children or she becomes an invalid or she suffers from diseases. An imam should never marry a man who simply wants to take another wife without good reason to support the untamed desire of a wolf. In the end, the one that allows the marriage is the one that commits a sin for allowing the breaking of a family and the suffering that it causes.

[ajayiangel]

I remember a time when a friend of mine told me about his aunt who never acted the same since his uncle married another wife and couldn't understand why it was so difficult for women to accept polygamy. I told him to imagine sharing his wife with another man and asked him how it'll make him feel. He told me it wouldn't be cool and i said exactly. The only difference between the two is that you are permitted to do that and she isn't, but every other feeling is the same.

[felicial.]

FINALLY a perspective that's not watered down and flowered up. These are my thoughts exactly. It's extremely dismissive and disrespectful when men say the only reason that women have an issue with it is because of jealousy. There's so many other factors that just get overlooked and women get told to just get over it and it's so disheartening. Thank you for finally giving perspectives that are more accurate to what issues we TRULY have.

[thepointlesswords]

Great video👏 I think the message here is that men can marry more than one wife only if he can do justice between his wives in the way Islam teaches men to do. Otherwise men will be held responsible for it in the hereafter.

[LimalimaAhmed]

I have seen some men marrying so many wives secretly but end up having different kids. When the wives find out, they get a divorce but he fails to notice that he has no one at the end. The kids don’t know each other and no home in the end. Was it worth it?Having one home can have more blessings. So let’s appreciate what we have rather than getting greedy. Sisters don’t agree to be a second option in someone’s life as you need to respect and value yourself.

[najpariz]

I bet you 90% of the men wouldn't have a seat for this conversation 😂, is so funny how they just misunderstand the concept of polygamy and call the first woman an angry bird lol, anyways may Allah grant us understanding and Iman.

[HGoldenC]

I like how you presented the genuine concerns of polygyny. So many women pretend to be single for assistance and I have always said they are lying for resources that could go to other families truly in need of it.