FEAR is the basis of RESPECT: people must hear you hiss

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A common refrain I hear in my consultations with men is feeling disrespected. These men feel as though other men look down on them, and that women tend to overlook them. And since I've been giving the same feedback in multiple sessions, I thought I would make an episode on the topic to spare guys the trouble. Basically, it's dangerous for a man to appear harmless, as it makes it more likely that he will be the target for aggression that others would like to direct elsewhere -- but are too afraid to do so. Whether we like it or not, fear is the basis of respect.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #respect #men
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A common refrain I hear in my consultations with men is feeling disrespected. These men feel as though other men look down on them, and that women tend to overlook them. And since I've been giving the same feedback in multiple sessions, I thought I would make an episode on the topic to spare guys the trouble. Basically, it's dangerous for a man to appear harmless, as it makes it more likely that he will be the target for aggression that others would like to direct elsewhere -- but are too afraid to do so. Whether we like it or not, fear is the basis of respect.

Book a paid consultation:

Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #respect #men

psychacks
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I stay calm in dangerous situations (gun shots, accidents, fist fights). Staying calm in chaotic situations is how you "hiss" that you are a dangerous person & not to be messed with. I happened to be a war veteran. This is what makes me calm in these situations.

RealityCheck
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Doc, one of the biggest reasons for this is our active cultural suppression of masculinity. Society is teaching men that by being docile and embracing the feminine mode of operating more, they will thrive. Not only are men not thriving in this aspect, but they’re getting weaker overtime.

Fellas, take pride in your masculinity and be unapologetic about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed off, your anger, aggression and drive for power are healthy masculine aspects of that are necessary for you to evolve. Stop weakening yourselves and moving passively in order not to look “harmful” to others. You don’t have to lack power in order to control yourself.💯

Khan-rzqi
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Always delivering .Never found another channel like yours.

sanathjohnson
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“We respect the people who have the power to hurt us but who choose not to.” 👌 I remember this particular convo between Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson where it’s mentioned that “it’s better to be a warrior in a garden than be a gardener in a war.”

janeyjenjen
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This is why marriage is so dangerous and why women generally push for marriage. Marriage is essentially the transfer of power, leverage and wealth to the woman. She no longer has to fear her man leaving because she has the power, weight and venom of the divorce courts in her favour. If anything, he has to now fear her.

marriagecausesdivorce
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If you’re gonna hiss, eventually you’re gonna have to back it up with a bite. Otherwise it’s an empty threat.

I grew up a skinny pencil. Eventually, I began fighting rather than avoiding.

I never won a fight. It didn’t matter. The bullies started leaving me alone.

endcgm
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"Social media made y'all way to[o] comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it." - Mike Tyson

Acoto
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I would love to tip you what your worth Doc, but I can't afford it! 😂 Great philosophy lecture today! Thank you! 👨‍⚕️🏥

MurseSamson
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The most effective hiss is the ability to take a step back and show your absence. Whether it’s in relationships, work, negotiations, family or whatever. If you can communicate a hiss by simply taking a step back into the shadow, you have become a seriously respectable dude.

TinoDanielzik
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Sad, but true. As a long time manager, I learned that if I was too chummy with my subordinates, I would lose control of them. Respect was far more valuable than like, but I always tried for both, sacrificing like if necessary.

robertfindley
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So true. This goes for women tenfold. They won’t respect you unless they know you can always leave. Sadly, you have to make women feel dread. I wish it could be different, but these women are my name.

RecreationalUseOnly
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Unbelievable .
I NEEDED this as a teenager - I’m 63 .
Not a “ pushover “ ; but got married at 18, and became a father of two children by 22 years old .
In short ; NEVER wanted to get fired at work, as my role first and foremost was to be a provider .
BUT - I became a pushover de facto because I never learned the lesson taught HERE !
THEN - even became a
“ simp “ in my marriage after the children grew up and moved out of the house - but that’s another story on the next OPRA Show …
Long story- short version, I ended up divorced at 51 . And after I realized it was just ME ; I found my testicles and did more than hiss in my sometimes toxic job of 33 years . Everyone was
“ taken aback “ as I ended up in H/R with close encounters that almost resulted in physical altercations . BAM ! Problem solved !
Thanks 🙏 for educating the
“ good men “ out here where our MEEKNESS is wrongfully mistaken for WEAKNESS ! Two totally DIFFERENT THINGS !
Peace ☮️

rudeawakening
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I love this story. I'm a small man, and people tended to mess with me, until I started giving them death glares that meant that they'd catch these hands if need be. It went down a lot. Some people who used to mess with me don't anymore...

NickM_FirstofHisName
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I was a miserably unhappy man in a very unhappy marriage to an emasculating, disrespectful woman. I made the mistake of pledging to never leave her, even though she treated me like shit. And, not too surprising, I kept getting shit on. Until one day when I told it was over... And just like that she started to play nice

rougebaba
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“Would I rather be feared or loved? Simple. Both. I want them to be afraid of how much they love me.” - Michael Scott

eclecticd
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One thing about the word "meek": it does not mean "weak". About 99% of people get this wrong. The actual definition is "controlled strength". Imagine a Navy Seal picking up his kid at Day Care. That man is easily the most dangerous in the building, but he restrains himself as the situation does not call for any force. However. Sold someone break in and attempt a robbery, that Seal would spring into fierce, immediate action and end the situation.

brettwheeler
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Strength, as in having some muscle, having a strong backbone by holding your ground in disagreements, exercising authority, and holding Frame. Orion has it right in his video here.

Snarge
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Looking back on my life, my biggest regret is letting others disrespect me. Great way to discuss having appropriate boundaries.

robmckee
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There is so much to unpack in this short presentation. I am so grateful to have heard this, because it reinforces how much I have allowed people to disrespect me over the course of my life. However, it has been the result of not respecting myself enough. As I work to improve self-respect, I find myself tolerating less disrespect from others. In other words, super omnia dignitate.

aalvarez