How to Make a Feminist Dating App

When Whitney Wolfe, the founder of the dating app Bumble, was in college, she was always comfortable making the first move. Today, she’s at the helm of a successful app that puts women in control of initiating conversations and connections. “Generally speaking, women my age have been raised with the notion that they are meant to sit put and not make the first move in a relationship,” she says in this film. Wolfe acknowledges that despite her feminist app, there’s a gender problem in the tech industry. “You can't necessarily blame tech,” she says. “We need to look at the root of the problem, and the root of the problem is the education system.”

This is the fourth episode of The Atlantic’s video series “Women and Leadership,” which explores insights and advice from five women in politics, entertainment, and tech. It was directed by Lucy Wells.

[TokyoTraveller]

So 1, 000, 000 women all messaging the same 100 men...
Yeah, that will work out just fine.

[tiorinaya]

Here's how you make a feminist dating don't.

[dwighthayles]

Please do make an app where we you openly confess your a feminist. I think it's a very smart idea so that we all know where we stand.

[RiseUpToYourAbility]

What BS is that it's not even men tell her not to make the first move. It's her female friends that are tell her not to text first, but it's still a guy's fault somehow.

[g]

Hey ladies, here's a tip. In your profile description you should describe yourself as a hard core feminist. That will help you get dates.

[JRibs]

"Why not always let women lead?" Because equality.

[onionpotato]

Does this mean that on a Bumble first date the woman pays? If so, I'm in!

[raywhuj]

I love dating feminist so much.

- Don't need to pay on the first date
- Don't need to open doors for them
- Don't need to have a job (justify it by saying you're giving your job away to women, so they can have a better opportunity)
- Very open to one stand
- Don't need to have a car. (justify it by saying you're trying to save the environment.)

[Abuzaid_]

I dated a feminist once .. WORST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER DONE
I regret it everyday

[elmacho]

"And this is why this kind of people will die alone!" Kevin Samuels.

[patrickwalsh]

I hate to break it to you, ladies, but being the guy "in charge" is not always a fun thing. You might look at it as guys having all the power, but it creates a tremendous amount of pressure on the guy. I am expected to give a captivating opener to pique the girl's interest, to say all the right things in order to keep her attention, to feel the situation out and ask her out on a date, to lead the conversation, to make her feel special and pretty, to show confidence without being arrogant, to show humor but only the right kind of humor, to treat her like a lady, but also not be boring, to be assertive but not pushy, to be clever but not cheesy, to prove to her that I am worth her time, to listen more than I talk, and to always know the right thing to say. Not complaining, just pointing out that being the one "in the driver's seat" is not always an envious position to be in. I like that bumble is trying to change the dynamics in relationships so that it isn't so one-sided. I don't mind leading the conversation, but I find a girl who will actually get up and ask me out first to be attractive. It shows confidence and independence

[formidablefoe]

Wtf, was she raised in the 20's or something?

[Gobbersmack]

Literally nothing has been improved by putting a "feminist" motif on it. Nothing.

[ginelleiammarino]

If you are always the first one to text, and the first one to initiate conversation and he isn’t, that’s a sign that he’s not interested in you.

[paradiseblue]

Im a woman and I would never join this app because I just cant get behind the idea of an all female dating app created by someone, who had a bad experience of having to make a fruit cake and never got therapy to heal and now views the whole world as sexist. You want to date men but dont want the help of the very people your trying to date (men), make that make sense. She says its inclusive, there is no inclusion of men whatsoever. Then your offended that men are biologically wired to be sight creatures. You can do whatever you want but you wont be able to change the biological wiring of men.

[phoneticau]

Yeah why not, ladies about time you do the heavy lifting

[seanmathews]

I am hearing that many women who use bumble are finding out that making the first move is not all it's cracked up to be. 😏 Because of you are the one to make the first move you can be rejected. And we all know that women in general do not handle rejection well at all.

[flyclyfire]

90% of men stopped dating feminist. Most men date traditional women or regular women its less stressful and a lot easier

[sentientmlem]

The girl in this interview has never had a date in her life.

[onionpotato]

The problem with liberating women in dating is that you also liberate men. If a man chooses to serially smash and dash, who are you to question his choice? The old school of dating, which constrained women's behaviour, also put serious constraints on men's behaviour in ways that benefitted women.