What Makes a Man Suddenly Commit? | Matthew Hussey

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Have you ever been with a guy you were certain would never settle down? The type who would declare to all his friends that he just “wasn’t made” for a relationship . . . only to one day announce he’s in a serious relationship or even getting married?

When this happens, we think, “What did the woman he committed to do that I didn’t?!”

What makes a man suddenly decide to commit?

In this week’s video, I not only dive into the answer to this question, but I also give you 4 practical pieces of psychology you can use to influence someone’s desire to commit to you.

P.S. I can’t overstate how excited I am about the new gift at the end of this video. I’ve been working on it for a while now and it will show you how you can define the relationship when you don’t know where you stand. I’m asked about this situation all the time, and this is the best practical tool I could come up with to help anyone in that situation.

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[makie]

what makes a man commit :

1. 05:10
having an exciting vision
for what a relationship means
本身要對於長期穩定關係
有興奮期待的眼光與願景

2. 06:15
showing vulnerability
適度示弱

3. 06:43
communicating standards
建立標準

4. 07:23
bringing peaceful energy
情緒穩定

[coolbreeze]

I'm in a long term relationship but still love listening to Matthew's videos. His advice isn't only for dating but applies to human behavior and life in general. He's very wise!

[stayhappylittlemermaid]

Be nice and smile to everyone you meet. You don't know what they are going through and they may need that smile and treasure it

[vibratac]

Matthew, I married the guy who carefully considered all the variables before he committed and we’re so happy 😊! I had been following your advice for about a year when we started dating and I continued doing things like communicating my standards etc. He still loves to remark with pride about my standards, he just loves it. I plan to continue following your advice forever, even now after he’s fully committed. The part about “peace” is ABSOLUTELY KEY. Your best advice yet. So well said. I let him walk away a few times and even walked away myself, but not with anger, and we still wanted to be together so that made it easy to cross the divide every time. Big ups to you and your brother and congrats on your own relationship success, you clearly earned it!! *smooch*

[largolagrande]

One of the problems with Dating is, it's hard to get a know a single person long enough to look for all those things.

[ronzalpha]

I absolutely love the fact that this addresses and reassures guys too. I've been in too many dates and flimsy relationships where women are afraid to commit because they always compare me with other guys and immediately hop on to "the next best" any time i show signs of vulnerabilities. Dating apps have ruined courtship. It really sucks but I'm glad I'm not alone

[stayslickwithkit]

There's 4 simple things a man needs before he decides to commit:

1) Trust that she's loyal to him and only him.
2) She brings peace instead of turmoil.
3) She's a team player.
4) Good Physical intimacy

These are VERY powerful if a woman has these things for a man.

Thanks Matthew, always an inspiration for my channel.

[Babesinthewood]

And don’t stay long with individuals who don’t appreciate your effort and kindness. Not everyone understands that just because you are lovely, it comes with the price of returning the effort. It’s not a free for all.

[kimasp]

It's an amazing feeling when you find someone that just helps keep you grounded without any effort..it just seems to happen and be automatic.

[jenniferssbenn]

So many are so traumatise from all the narcissist abuse they went through during their seperation. Healing is highly required.

[maddyG]

As someone who suddenly committed to my boyfriend after being unsure, I can say that all of these are very accurate. I’ve also been the one hoping for commitment, and I can say that majority of the time, waiting isn’t a good idea.

[mellyemerson]

He melts me I melt him he has driven me
to absolutely craziness at times but I’ve calmly explained why. At 44 I’ve learned to to this from past relationships. He is a pure gentleman and I’m absolutely sure he has broken a lot of past walls from being hurt in relationships. He is ready to commit because he told me so. I’m ready

[gianshant]

Peace and vulnerability can make any type of relationship so deep and meaningful, thanks for sharing with us

[adrianamanta]

When I see my dating app full of messages I don’t get excited I actually get tired..:)

[nag]

Wow! This video really touched me. I have done all of this but still, my relationship failed. My ex broke up with me out of nowhere and honestly, I have nothing bad to say about him or our relationship. I’m now watching this video because he came back after 2 months of no contact saying he bought some gifts for me. he brought them to my place and we saw each other, he apologized for how he ended things abruptly and said he cares about me and he wanted to show me that and let me know I’m a wonderful and strong woman. I told him he needs to figure out what he wants and what is going on with him and tears came out of his eyes. Honestly, after watching this video I can tell he walked away because of him because he needs to work on himself but I don’t know if he ever will come back :( and just thinking about made me sad and heartbroken because I love him but I do respect his decision.

[largolagrande]

These are some of the best and compact advices for an actual healthy relationship I've ever heard in a while.

[valentinanocross]

This is exactly what I have been experiencing, so I know this as the truth now about relationships. I didn't master these skills alone or over night. But finally and of course when the other person has done the work makes this possible and stop dating people who aren't in a growth mindset.

[voiceactor]

That moment when you realize you're doing all the right things just with the wrong people... <3

1. Having and sharing an exciting vision for what a relationship means - they say they share the vision and then move the goal post (I see this future with you just not right now...)
2. Showing vulnerability - they mimic it but don't actually reveal much and the little they do reveal terrifies you because it seems sociopathic...OR they
3. Communicating standards/boundaries - doesn't respect or honor them and manipulates their way around them
4. Bringing a peaceful energy - gaslights you to the point where your inner peace is replaced with confusion, anxiety, and remorse

Major red flag was how quickly they "moved on" from their previous partner. I found it alarming how cold they were towards them and knew it was only a matter of time before that coldness came my way...and it sure did. Blizzard. This person even went so far as to "warn" me in a "joking" way by stating outright "I'm arrogant, narcissistic, perfect, and I'm never wrong."

Also, they learned the language of healing work (they read books on it to improve manipulation NOT to heal) and that makes them extra dangerous.

Luckily I recognized the toxic traits and ended things after 3 months but I still caught myself wondering what I did wrong. Especially since there was no closure/conversation (they went into stonewalling/silent treatment after they made a mistake and couldn't admit it). All I can say is glad I only spent a few months of my time on them and if you see ANY of the dark pairings Matthew talks about don't doubt yourself. END IT NOW. So you can find someone who will respond to the above items appropriately. Refreshing.

[ellisburton]

Keep yourself strong, be clear about your boundaries and if someone 'suddenly commits' try not to get carried away. They're gonna have to capable of putting work in to get 'there'. Plus if it turns out they can't, it's way harder to get out if you live together than if you separately. Also beware highly narcissistic people, it will start great and end up mega disasterous.

[literallyjen]

Men are like cabs.. when they're available, their light goes on and the next woman they meet, they'll commit. It's about timing.