Hilarious anti-piracy features in video games

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Not sure if they did this in the remaster, but the original Alan Wake would be entirely playable, but have Alan wear an eyepatch with a skull and crossbones all the time, occasionally asking on loading screens things like "Hey, since you're enjoying this, maybe just buy it?"

maduinargentus

The Serious Sam 3 one is pretty ironic because while its a good anti piracy measure for 99% of people, there is a small group of people that actually like the immortal death scorpion and use it at the center of challenge runs

AnvilApricot

Was expecting Earthbound, which deletes all your saves & crashes just before the final boss, as well as making the game much more grindy

zoggoth

Another fun one was the gamedev simulator game (don't remember the name). If you pirate the game, at some point in the game you're gonna get hit by an event that says you can't sell games because they're being pirated, and in a few years your studio will shut down.

DanieleCapellini

Here's a few more noteworthy anti-piracy measures:

Zak McKraken and the Alien Mindbenders:
You could actually play a decent portion of the game, but when you reach a point where you might want to travel to other countries to progress, you have to enter basically a PIN to get on the plane. If you get it wrong too many times, Zak is thrown in jail with a pirate flag above his cell, and the jailor turns to the screen and says something along the lines of "As for you, I assume your finger slipped while entering the code, right?"

Chuck Yeager's Air Combat:
This old DOS game had the classic "look up X in the manual" piracy protection, but the things it asked you to look up was technical specs of various WW2 aircraft like the bomb bay volume of a B-17. Technically possible to answer without the manual, but this was long before the internet, so obscure trivia like that was almost impossible to know unless you were either an expert or REALLY into WW2 aviation.

And as an honorary mention, Leisure Suit Larry:
Also a game that asked questions to make sure you were allowed to play it, but it wasn't actually anti-piracy, it was an age check.
After you enter your age (anything below 18 obviously tells you that you're too young and shuts down), it would ask you trivia that would be common knowledge for someone who actually is that old. E.g. if you said you were old enough to be born in the mid 50s, it might ask you about popular TV shows in the late 60s/early 70s. Something you'd be old enough to know about, but not recent enough that anyone younger would really know about it.
If you tried to cheat the system by claiming to be a 1000 years old or something, it would tell you that the game might be a bit too exciting for someone of your advanced age and they didn't want you to develop heart issues and kick you out, same as if you said you were under 18. (Because you obviously were, why else try to cheat the system?)

PerkulatorBenny

Didn't the serious Sam one eventually become a self-imposed speedrun challenge?

sethbettwieser

A funny Mention is Skullgirls. If you beat one of the story modes, the end cutscene is replaced by a text box that says "what is the square root of fish? Now I'm sad."

trubb

Anti-piracy was probably most necessary during the 1650s to the 1730s.

Michael_Lindell

Kinda hoping they were gonna include Ace Attorney Investigations 2 in this. If you try to pirate it, the game IS entirely playable, but its all in a made-up language

Edit: If you guys want to see what it looks like, I put a link in the replies I promise I'm not calling Japanese a made-up country and language

plooomb_

Novi News had the Anti Piracy tactic of just telling you on the starting screen something along the lines of "Hi Pirate! Don't worry, it's chill, we get it. We do it too. If you got the money and enjoy the game, please consider buying!"

toolatetothestory

You know what's best about these anti-piracy mechanics? They were quickly overcomed, separating qualified pirates from amateurs

demilung

that one where batman just doesnt glide, happens in legally acquired copies too. i was so pissed that my runs would take so long because i would just hop off

CupOfRunes

Earthbound lets you play almost the entire game, but crashes during the final boss and deletes your save

thekoifishcoyote

I got one. The infamous one from Skullgirls where randomly the message "What is the square root of fish now im sad" would appear. People asked online and were exposed as pirates.

Flaconadir

Another funny notable one is LoZ Spirit Tracks allowing you to play but entirely removing the controls on the train that gets you around the map

schmoo...