Why Abuse Survivors are DISBELIEVED: Narcopath’s Double Face (Isolation, Compartmentalization)

Psychopath: compartmentalization of positive emotions.

Ingroup and outgroup.

Machiavellianism: Power play: catching emotions is defeat by a manipulative abuser (the victim!)

Honesty only when ready to move on or when attempting to destroy victim

Decoy behaviors

Comorbidities: NPD+BPD, Malignant narcissism explained via compartmentalization/isolation.

Compartmentalization and isolation are the mechanisms that enable dissociation, splitting, concentration/attention/focus, cognitive dissonance, comorbidities, and self-states (see IPAM).

Coping with death

Addictions like workaholism

It is more like role play but one role being surrealistic and another grounded in reality, one internal and one external (responsive to internal vs. external environment, respectively).

LITERATURE: APA DICTIONARY

compartmentalization

n. a defense mechanism in which thoughts and feelings that seem to conflict or to be incompatible are isolated from each other in separate and apparently impermeable psychic compartments. In the classical psychoanalytic tradition, compartmentalization emerges in response to fragmentation of the ego, which ideally should be able to tolerate ambiguity and ambivalence.

Isolation

in psychoanalytic theory, a defense mechanism that relies on keeping unwelcome thoughts and feelings from forming associative links with other thoughts and feelings, with the result that the unwelcome thought is rarely activated. See also compartmentalization.

[RoadLessTravelled-op]

you are literally saving my sanity with your videos, thank you

[vivalabad]

Not being believed by people who are NOT abusers is even worse than being abused by the perpetrator. Its like being convicted of a crime you didn't commit, and when you're released from prison its still on your written record and that's all people see. They don't want to actually take the time to sit and understand and sift through potential lies.

[sarahstrong]

I am the scapegoated daughter of a malignant narcissist. My mother, who was a primary school teacher, repeatedly beat me unconscious. It hurts me so much that my brothers do not believe me. In a way it hurts me more that my aunt does not believe me because she was present when my mother was taken to court by the parents of a girl in my mothers class who was severely beaten by her in school, so she knows how violent my mother could be.

[mobwatch]

Flying monkeys bring themselves to believe that everyone imputing the person's behaviour is crazy, lying, trying to use them etc. Even when it happens again and again with different people.

[mobwatch]

I find it curious when people are convinced they know someone's limits, while admitting he/she is a major a-hole on occasion, lies and cheats, loses control when intoxicated, often breaks the law etc. Somehow they still dismiss certain abuse accusations and refer to survivors as crazy, as the person "would do just anything but what you're claiming they did, so you must be a liar".

[breersx]

Whoa!!! Thank you, Mr. Vanknin!
Yes, exactly! I do all of these things as coping mechanisms. You are 100 percent spot on. I've never been able to put it into words, or been able to understand or explain it to people before. I have only been able to say "Please don't take it personally. I just fall off sometimes. I do it to everyone,
It's not you, or anything you've done wrong. I've just always dealt with things alone, on my own... It's the only way I
know. "
But they unfortunately always take it personally.. Unless they've known me since childhood, & understand trauma.

[spiritualone]

They cannot believe what I say. They don’t know the devastation and the Abuses. Nobody can understand unless they been thru it. I will be healing for the rest of my life. NC for a year. He still stalks me on fb messenger with fake profiles. I will Never Ever go back. That is my get back. I’m no longer a victim.

[elodiedupont]

You look outstanding in your new outfit Sam 😊

Merry Christmas 🎄

[kristentiveron]

You speak in a way that very easy for me to understand complex things. Thank you for sharing this important knowledge. Someone understands. Thank god.

[nxwzwcy]

Brilliant as usual, and the jacket suits you

[tanyareneezaccardi]

I'm so grateful you're willing to educate the public. you have helped heal my heart ❤️ thank you sir for knowing the truth and not being afraid to speak about it so eloquently and kindly!!!

[MelanieWork-oz]

I was destroyed for 41 years, now he's passed. I'm relieved and grieving. No one believes me accept my counselor.

[sayusayme]

Being disbelieved mist is my life as a scapegoat, I love my resilience and willingness to learn how to detach with compassion not blame.
As someone who’s neurodivergent it makes it hard to differentiate between healthy ways to cope that are observable behaviours obtained fro the narcissist and others in forms of gaslighting.
Nurtured my little hurt but beautiful child self without even knowing it, has saved me.
Lots of healing now and unpeeling the layers of denial I used to escape the pain.

Fascinating podcast, thank you.
Too many contributing factors add to the fact that it’s impossible to know exactly what label to attach.

[Oh.deer]

Professor Sam i watched many of your video after a tragic breakup with my love interest. I dived deep into the topic of trauma and its effects, i realised that I just can't be myself anymore. Day by day I'm isolating myself. It feels like i was in coma for 25 years due to my narcissist father. Can you make a video on how to fight bpd. Solution oriented videos will be of great help to those who have no access to therapist.

[mariabranca]

I should begin saying how handsome he is in this coat.

[marianneturner]

Awww…the “Bad Boy” image! Making us want you more 😂

[MrGotmymojoworkin]

You're a star, Sam. Happy Chistmas. Thank you so much for your hugely medicinal videos. ♥

[iamme]

I’ve not experienced those comments but I’ve heard
“If it weren’t for bad luck you’d have no luck at all” or “ sounds like you have a broken picker”

[fihtah]

what I’m witnessing right now is my wife being completely eaten alive by her elder sister. Today she was told if it wasn’t for her child then she would have committed suicide. She’s told she is going through all this emotional breakdown because of her, my wife’s told that she cannot love her like she loves her. She’s called stupid and an idiot on a daily basis. She is mocked for her looks, she is mocked and laughed at for her opinion on any issue. She’s told she’s childish and never learns to mature. If she tries to explain her side of an argument she’s scolded for being defensive. She’s told she’s a failure in life. I’m having to watch my wife selflessly give her time and energy in trying to help her with chores while being treated like a doormat. Last week things turned even uglier when she was mildly attacked and screamed right in her face like a maniac. I admire her courage in facing all of this with such patience and forbearance but it’s effecting her. She’s having headaches, her heartbeat is always fast now and she’s losing weight and always tired and sad.its visible now that her hearts broken. I know what she’s dealing with because I see frightening resemblances to my mother. I dealt with my parents so I have experience but She doesn’t like it when I talk about her family in a negative light. it distresses her and I know she’s not strong enough to face an emotional vampire. we live on a small island, cannot go no contact or leave for a plethora of reasons. @samvaknin can you help me?

[katarinatibai]

Sentimental is not empathic.
Sentimental feelings gravitated around themself. It's not a feeling that they have for other people or any other living beings.
It's often just sadness and longing for lost things or youth. There is no love in it.