DOG MOM RAP

Written and Performed by: T-Spoon and ZZtophalf
Audio track and mixing/sound engineer: Billy Conahan
Executive Producers: Katie Haller, Zoe Costello
Produced by: Katie Haller, Zoe Costello, Katie Kirnan, Ally Nesmith, Wheaton Simis, Tim Skinner, Lisa Bernier, Stacie Grissom + BARK

Cinematography: Wheaton Simis

Edited by: Gen Liu

Lyrics:
Wake up in the morning my dog’s on a routine
Walk him in my jammies don't care if I'm seen

Covered in fur, poop bags in my pocket
I know I look good so don’t get a red rocket.

Casually strollin with a turd in my hand
Wondering where the hell’s the closest trash can

Peeing everywhere Brooklyn Bridge to the Rockies
He's Markin’ territory - s’what we do on our walkies

Never leave the house without my lint roller
Hell yea I got a geriatric pug in this stroller (Kirnan with Noodle in a stroller)

His instagram is popping I don't mean maybe
He gets more likes than my sister’s baby

If you’re a dog mom here’s your camera roll
It’s just my dog’s face no matter how far you scroll

Storage is full? I’m like, psh, Siri please.
That’s why I rock him on my wall, shirt and keys

CHORUS:
If you’re a dog mom, put your hands up
This song’s for all the ladies who provide for their pup

When you’re a dog mom this is what you do
Cause they say you're not my baby and I know it ain't true

Went to the vet cause her poop was volcanic
We put her on a diet now that shit is organic

Bought him elevated bowls I’m a boss breadwinner
Now he doesn’t strain his neck while he’s eating his dinner

Toys & chews that’s where I’m throwin' my paper
Don't forget treats! It’s turkey-duck flavor

We poppin’ bottle service at the dog-friendly joints
if i cant bring my dog then I just don't see the point

Here’s an invitation and don’t be tardy
I’m goin' all out for my dog’s birthday party

Show up lookin fly & we’re sippin' on Titos (Zoe)
She’s the life of the party: "And her paws smell like Fritos!”

CHORUS:
If you’re a dog mom, put your hands up
This song’s for all the ladies who provide for their pup

When you’re a dog mom this is what you do
Cause they say your not my baby and I know it ain't true

Feeling mad pride when he rips out the stuffin', i even give props when he doesn't do nuthin
*spoken* You’re amazing

On my nanny cam while I’m in a board meeting,
Wonder what she’s doing "OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU EATING”

Reunited coming home, yo that shit is sacred
When i take off her collar, it looks like she’s naked!

So bomb at belly scratches, i’m like a dog masseuse
And I know he ‘ppreciates cause he brings me his Moose!

Don't need a man when i come home
Cause my bed is a literal bone zone.

Fall asleep to the sound of you licking your parts
But you wake us both up when you’re scared of your farts

Can’t wait to wake up and do it over again
Say it with me now: DOGS ARE WOMAN’S BEST FRIEND

Ha! Ha! We out!
But we immediately want to come back in again.

[westpawadventures]

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen on YouTube. I am exactly that dog mom.

[katieh]

"I fall asleep to the sound of you licking your parts
But you wake us both up cause you're scared of your farts"
CLASSIC

[MissWooHoo]

99% of the photos on my phone are my doggy.

[Noirestarr]

OMG! That's my life! Where can I get that 'Crazy Dog Lady' bag?

[daniellehilts]

this is the best song haha 😂😂😂 I've listened to it way too many times

[cestlavie]

Same here. These beautiful beings have my heart on their paws. Period.

[clebras]

I thought I was the only one falling asleep listening to my dog lick his parts. Its truly a hard thing to be a dog Mom. This video was so fun to watch I cried while laughing!
Thanks for making and sharing it!

[rachelanne]

This is my jam!!!! DOG MOM FOR LIFE!!! this song is

[xkxdestinyx]

Oh my god every verse sounds like my life

[AmberRhodesActress]

SPOT ON! Showering them with praise for doing nothing, YEP! <3 love this! Nice job ladies & your cute pups!

[zenajuhasz]

That's me! I don't feel so crazy!

[milenaminamaltese]

My hands are up! *IM DEFINITELY A DOG'S MOM!*

[thaethirilynn]

So glad that lyrics are exactly reflecting my Dog Lady life.

[randibriggs]

I so love this video and music! Thanks for creating this, makes me smile every time I listen!

[tzuamourshihtzu]

Anyone here in 2020 I just love this music video watch it at least 6/10times a year

[mjbegoode]

Great anthem! Happy Mother's Day Dog Moms!

[IdonotwantaUtubename]

"Walking in my jamies.
Don't care if I'll get seen"
So me! Green sweet pants and red hoodie I don't care my baby has to poo!

[mollypaananen]

we out, but we'll want right back in AGIAN!🐕

[retrievergolden]

Gotta revisit this one every so often! I love it, it's the story of my life.

[strangerhamilton]

This is literally the best thing to ever exist.