Is there a crisis of masculinity or is it just capitalism?

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Did feminism FAIL men?

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Transmen Narration 1: Kimmy Giggler
Transmen Narration 2: Ziyun Wu
Transmen Narration 3: Everett O'Donoghue
Misc. Narration: Reem

~BIBLIOGRAPHY~

Myron Gaines, “Why Women Deserve Less,” 2023 (I had to donate $20 to planned parenthood because I felt bad buying this book)

Katherine Bagley, “Why Low-Income Households Need to Be Part of the Clean Energy Revolution,” 2019

Henry James, The Bostonians, 1889

Arthur Schlesinger Jr., Esquire, 1958

bell hooks, The Will to Change, 2004 (quotes: p. 27)

Pew Research, “On Gender Differences,” 2017

Judith Butler, Gender Trouble, 1990

Mehltretter, et al., “Indigenous and Western Knowledge: Bringing Diverse Understandings of Water Together in Practice,” 2023

Foucault, Madness and Civilization, 1961

NASA, 95% of Matter and Energy is Unexplained
Karen Barad, “Posthumanist Performativity: Toward an Understanding of How Matter Comes to Matter,” 2003

Michel Foucault, Discipline and Punish, 1975

Chaplin, “Gender and Emotion Expression: A Developmental Contextual Perspective,” 2016

Lumen, “Gender and Early Childhood,” 2020

Halim, et al., “Rigidity in Gender-Typed Behaviors in Early Childhood: A Longitudinal Study of Ethnic Minority Children” 2013

Chaplin & Aldao, “Gender Differences in Emotion Expression in Children: A Meta-Analytic Review,” 2012

Bourdieu, Masculine Domination, 1998

Bourdieu, “The political field, the social science field, and the journalistic field,” in R Benson and É Neveu (eds) 2005, Bourdieu and the journalistic field, Cambridge: Polity, 29-47

Bourdieu, The Field of Cultural Production: Essays on Art and Literature, 1993

Bourdieu, Distinction: A Social Critique of the Judgement of Taste, 1979

Ann Swidler, “Culture in Action: Symbols and Strategies,” 1986

Bourdieu, The Logic of Practice, 1980

Jan Morris, Conundrum, p. 130

Bhana and Mayeza, “We don’t play with gays, they’re not real boys … they can’t fight: Hegemonic masculinity and (homophobic) violence in the primary years of schooling,” 2016.

Emma Renold, “‘Other’ boys: negotiating non‐hegemonic masculinities in the primary school,” 2007

NAM News Room, “More Women Join the Manufacturing Workforce,” 2023

Affleck, et al., “Men’s Mental Health: Social Determinants and Implications for Services,” 2018

Lauren Berlant, Cruel Optimism

Jonathan A. Allan, “Masculinity as Cruel Optimism,” 2018, p. 182

Bourdieu Quote on Love from Masculine Domination, p. 112

bell hooks Quote on Love from The Will to Change, p. 28

#ClimatePowerPartner #ClimatePowerEnAcción

[Pallerim]

Bringing back the 4:3 format is such a great move

[bicuriousdirtbikeboi]

When I was an 8 year old boy, my cousin Danielle painted my nails with the new nail polish she got. I thought the boys with black nails and tattoos that lined her walls were so fascinating to look at, and I had a natural wanting for everything feminine. I asked her to paint my nails and she loved the idea. When she was done, I was beaming, and it was one of the times in my early childhood where I truly felt understood and comfortable. When my new and amazing black nails dried, I hurried to show my mom because I wanted her to celebrate and embrace my happiness. When she saw them as we were walking out the door… she screamed at me. And I didn’t understand why. The rest of the car ride home was silent, and that’s what hurt the most because I knew that something I had done was wrong, and I didn’t understand what it was. When we got home, my mother instructed me to go sit in the bathroom and wait for her. I did what I was told, and I started to cry because I was terrified. I thought I was going to get a spanking or something, but what I got was almost worst.

My mom came into the room with a bottle of nail polish remover and a box of cotton swaps. She yanked my hand towards the sink and poured the nail polish remover over it. One by one she scrubbed my nails clean until their was nothing there. She scrubbed them so clean that my happiness beauty and understanding of myself were violently stripped off of those nails and bled into the cotton swaps like the black polish had. I cried the whole time, which lead to more lashing from my mothers words. “Stop crying! Boys don’t cry! Boys don’t wear nails polish! Do you want to be a girl?” She said it as if being a girl was some kind of punishment.

One of the worst feelings I ever had was the one I had that day, when I was taught that who I truly was is wrong. The one moment I had in my life at that time of pure joy was shattered that day by the one person in my life who was supposed to cradle it. A pure expression of my joy had earned me the same level of anger that I got for misbehaving or being disobedient. I was being told that being feminine was disobedience and that I was wrong for being that. A part of me died that day. I spent the rest of my childhood pretending I was something that I wasn’t. I built an imposter for myself so that he could stand in my place and any words of hate or any threats of violence I got for being too feminine or for liking boys would bounce off of him like I wanted them to do to me.

….but that’s not what happened. What happened instead was that, the fake version of myself, had turned on me. I made him to protect me from the boys who would chase me into the locker rooms and tell me I was going to hell or from the teachers who downplayed my feelings when I told them what was happening. I thought it I tried to be him, maybe I would be safe. But he was a constant reminder to me about how I wasn’t good enough and how I would never truly be a “Man” like everyone wanted to be.

Now that I’m growing up, and am in my 20s, I actively paint my nails or buy myself Barbie dolls and I do all of the things I wanted to do as a child, because 8 year old Collin hurts, and it is my job as 23 year old Collin to comfort him and to give him the emotional love that we never got. I tell him everyday how beautiful and strong he is because the masculine and feminine energy he has is what gives him power and lights up his eyes. He’s taught me how to allow myself to enjoy the simple pleasures in life like painting my nails and brushing a Barbie doll’s hair and listening to Britney Spears and watching Hannah’s Montana. All of the things I was told time and time again I wasn’t allowed to do… I did…and finally I’m starting to feel whole again.

[Edit]: Im very happy that some of you guys can empathize with this and feel seen by what I have to say 😊 I would also like to add that my relationship with my mother passed this point is a whole lot better. Back when I was that age, she was very religious and pretty closed minded, but since I and some other family members came out, she’s become a lot more accepting about lgbt people, and we’ve had many discussions about the way that her actions impacted me growing up and we’re working on healing that part of our relationship. Just goes to show that sometimes you just being yourself can be the light that leads others to change 💜

[mariapaularubianoa.]

I was recently playing with two cousins; they're twin siblings (one "boy" and one "girl"). My girl cousin asked me to wear an ear cuff, and I saw my boy cousin wanting to ask me but was hesitant until I asked him, "Do you want to wear one? They're really cool!" His face instantly lit up. They were so happy, admiring each others' ears and feeling stylish and cool... until their dad arrived. When he saw my girl cousin, he told her she looked pretty. When he saw the boy... he forcibly removed the ear cuff, causing it to break. My cousin was so sad. The next day, we were hanging out. My female cousin asked me to wear the ear cuff again. He didn't, even after I offered him and told him we could take it off before his dad arrived. He was terrified. Even if his dad wasn't there, the instructions of masculinity were already inside of him. My heart breaks to this day, knowing that in small instances like that, "masculinity" is created: Just a wound onto a wound onto a wound.

[Tom_Nicholas]

Always impressed with the production value and creativity of your videos, so not surprised to see you've been ambitious enough to shoot this one in IMAX aspect ratio.

[noriringtail]

I'm an older man than you are, so in exchange for this well-made video, I'd like to share something: I experience Gender Euphoria when teaching people how to do things. How to cook, draw, change a tire, repair an electronic device– all of these things make me feel like the patient, knowledgeable and positive male role model I never had growing up. If you ever find yourself wanting a little gender affirmation, you might try teaching someone something. It's a great feeling.

[KawaiiCat]

“It’s a cruel reality, but fantasy is always crueler” is a sick ass final line holy shit

[PapiyoneVineland]

The irony of liking Nirvana being the behavior a little guy felt pressure to engage in to be accepted as a masculine boy is so intense, knowing how much Kurt didn't fit in as a "masculine dude", as a teenager. He wondered if he was gay because he felt like he belonged more amongst gay guys. There are also pictures of all of Nirvana band members proudly wearing dresses for a photoshoot before it was cool, hanging out with Rupaul... And they were fervent feminists. Especially Kurt. His music was partially inspired by his Riot Girl type of a musician girlfriend and he said publicly that the lack of recognition these underground girl bands received compared to their male peers bands was unfair.

[lizzieheart]

Alex, I so appreciate your dedication to actual video essays that push past basic observation and surprise the viewer. Your content has been so high quality and interesting lately and the way you present your ideas is intriguing and easy to follow. Thank you so much for all your

[shana]

Something I found fascinating growing up was that if I befriended men/boys I would quickly realize that I was sometimes literally the only person they would talk to about their emotions. These dudes would have like 10 bros that they've been hanging out with for 15 years who they knew nothing about. But I had been hanging out with them for like 5 months and felt they could trust me to talk to about these things because I wasn't a man. One of my friends told me recently that I was one of very few people in his life to ask the question "how are you" and want to know the internal answer.

[Estevv]

This video hurts.

I'm 33 years old, and was quite emotional growing up. I moved around a lot, and I had a busy father who was always working and a mother who raised me to always try to be in another person's shoes. One day, was maybe 7-8 years old, one of our budgies died. I was up late into the night crying, and my father came in and we talked about how he wasn't crying.
Real men didn't cry.

Looking back, I can see how I internalized that into real men don't feel things. Everywhere around you growing up, one learns that emotions should be contained. The only emotion that was rewarded was the occasional burst of anger. It moulds you into a stoic individual stuck in a loop of shame for feeling any emotion till eventually you find an outlet to blame someone or it becomes a wall of depression that you live with.

The video is really well done. (I am curious as to what lighting modifier you used, I love it) Excellently paced, and I really appreciate that the conclusion pinpoints on how the perspectives on feminism can be just as jarring as patriarchy.

[JordanSullivanadventures]

Hearing a trans dude talk about the sociological effects of patriarchy throughout men's lives is putting into words some of the arguments I've been trying to make for literally a decade. Thank you for making this.

[typhonicparagon]

My little brother has been starting to notice gender, sexism and toxic masculinity after my dad has been starting to push him to be more masculine out of fear of him becoming “girly” or “a woman” from andrew tate YouTube algorithms. I’ve been trying to help him learn and understand as best as I can without trying to just frame one side as bad “just because”. This is really helpful, I’ll keep this in mind for our next talk. thank you so much. cheers!

[alecolson]

As an amab i have found the trans masc perspective on this subject to be life-changing

[kaisalmon]

As a cis straight guy raised by two cis straight guys (while my mother and stepmother were unable to be effective parents), I ended up having this very deeply routed idea of masculinity that had whole swathes of what i later learnt were maternal traits transplanted on.
I feel i still have large parts of the toxic parts of masculinity, but also an idea that masculinity is being able to provide for the ones you love not only materially but also emotionally. Its the bringing home money, but its also the helping the ones you love learn to talk about how they feel, its cooking and its cleaning, its holding someone when they need to be held, its telling someone you love them, it's giving someone the space to tell you how they feel, its having the maturity to tell someone you need help and its saying sorry when you hurt someone.

I don't know if my masculinity as "what society expects from a man" plus "what society expects from a mother" is... Better, but sure is different

[Olivman]

4:50 "How are men supposed to grill when there's pronouns in the beer?" Okay, that one tore a laugh out of me. I think I might subscribe to this channel.

[rooster]

As an afab nonbinary person, when I started working in construction, I quickly had to grasp how different the world of manhood is. The guys are all so mean to each other, but that's how they mess around and have a good time. They don't express emotional pain outside of anger. In fact, me simply asking if someone is okay is met with a look that tells me it's not normal to ask. Crying is a no go. Many are terrible fathers and even more are terrible husbands. The alcoholism is normal. Everyone has a buddy whose killed himself. These guys never take days off and will work themselves to the bone. It's honestly just sad. Of course choices are their own, but seeing the very real way these men's upbringing and societal experiences has made them into who they are is surreal.
Despite being out as nb, I'm percieved as a woman on site, and it shows. I had to work my ass off to prove I could carry the heavy duct, I could use power tools, I was capable of doing my job. And sure, after a year and a half of proving myself, my team know I can do it, but interacting with other trades will always remind me that most men will see me as unable to do my job.
I also become the sound board for my coworkers. I've learned far more about my coworker's lives and feelings than I ever expected. Men who have worked together for years won't know as much about each personal life as I have been told during one on one time. It's the only time I see them express something other than anger, though not much. Only when its just us two.
Almost 2 years into working closely with "men's men", and all I can do is hope that society can make a change so the future of masculinity is healthier.

[hacksignify]

This is a subject that's been on my mind since painting my nails in high school caused such horror in my peers.

The idea of what a man is is constricting, locking us out of a lot of fun things.

[Crazybassable]

When I first moved to Germany, it schocked me to my core when my host-father hugged me. Over the course of a year I saw him openly show love, sadness, even vulnerability, and all of the finer emotions that I had never gotten to see in my Dad and brother in the States.
I saw this again and again, and it shattered my US American toxic male habitus. It opened the door for me to explote gender; to build up again what *I* wanted for myself.
To see that so many people, including so many older individuals put so much value in those traits at no cost to their masculinity not only changed my life, but it was also one of the biggest reasons for moving back to Germany. My home has never looked the same, and toxic masculinity never so silly or so unfortunate.

[morganburt]

i think my favorite part of you’re content is how you explain sociological thinking better than the dozens of academic papers i’ve read. also, shoutout to you for writing whole ass proper essays for fun. i cannot fathom your brain but i’m very grateful

edit: and money lol worth the $2 a month btw

[laylahassomethingtosay]

As a trans-femme who was actively closeted from ages 3 to 21, the part of my life I find most painful to look back on is not the early years of pervasive condemnation of my femininity. It's the years immediately thereafter, in which I tried desperately to suppress it myself, thinking that if I could embrace the exact patriarchal ideals that tortured me (and subsequently wield those ideals against others), I would finally reach the social standards required for receiving love. I've gotten to a point of being able to sympathize with that version of myself, but it still really hurts to think of the pain I must have caused others.