Attraction Grows In Space – Why Responsive Men Are Less Attractive (Based on Science)

Attraction grows in space, not in close proximity. If you want to raise a woman’s attraction for you, you first need to get her thinking about you. Being less responsive is one way to accomplish this. There’s a deep underlying psychology when it comes to texting and calling women if you want to build attraction.

What you say, how you say it, how long your messages are, how frequently you send messages, who initiates first, and how fast you respond communicates either weakness or strength. When a man immediately responds to a woman’s messages, the woman can’t help but feel the man’s desperation. And what kind of man is desperate? The weak and unattractive man.

Numerous psychological studies show that men who are highly responsive are less attractive to women. A responsive behavior set is comprised of behaviors that signal that a man “understands, values, and is willing to support a woman and invest his resources into the relationship.” In other words, he is prepared to become the ultimate provider both physically and emotionally.

Most men believe that acting this way is a good thing. They assume the more supportive, understanding, and responsive they are the more likely a woman is to find them attractive. And while it’s true that men find responsive women attractive, women don’t feel the same way about responsive men.

If there are any lessons to be learned from studies into attraction, it’s that women aren’t attracted to nice guys. They’re attracted to men who project strength and confidence. If you start with the fundamental truth that women are attracted to strength in all its various forms and guises, it becomes a lot easier to see why being a “nice guy” and why being responsive is so unattractive. From a woman’s perspective, a responsive man is more likely to be exploited by others. The responsive man also sends the signal that he’s eager to please, has a weaker character, and has fewer dating options.

If you’re over responsive and too available, you communicate weakness. A woman wants to know that she can have space without having to worry about you getting upset or becoming clingy. Every human being wants freedom. If a woman thinks you’ll try to restrict her freedom in any way, she’ll instinctively pull away from you. It’s only in times of strife and uncertainty that problems arise. You must never allow your fears and insecurities to derail what should otherwise be a straightforward seduction. With this in mind, you must be conscious of where you stand in the seduction process and how fast you respond to women.

When a woman sends you messages, you must be acutely aware of how long her messages are, and also how long your messages are in response. If a woman sends you short, abrupt messages, her current level of attraction for you is low. Never make the mistake of responding to short messages with an overly long response. If, for whatever reason, a woman sends you short messages, which indicate a severe lack of interest, simply delay your response time, replicating a similar lack of interest. Alternatively, sending no message at all is often the perfect way to allow a sense of anxiety to creep into the woman’s mind and grab her attention. One of the main drawbacks to modern technology is that it’s now easier than ever for women to test men. Be aware that technology can be used to project strength and it can also be used to expose weakness—which response will you choose?


If you want to maintain attraction with a woman, right from the moment you first meet her all the way through to a long-term relationship, then I highly recommend you get a copy of my book Atomic Attraction.


Check out the Get Her Back (Action Plan) for the best way to get your girlfriend back if she's pulled away from you or left you.


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Trust yourself and trust the process,

Chris Canwell

[escanor]

A wise man once said " Don't be too responsive "

[agee]

A woman recently told me she loves me but i dont message her enough! I asked her why i would change anything when she just told me she loves me.

[billyscorner]

it is why it is so important to be working on your purpose, as this will naturally create space. it's the guys that aren't focusing on themselves, that put their gfs on a pedestal and are around them 24/7

[kryuza]

damn having a gf is really hard, and to maintain your attraction

[paulthomas]

Still it's a balancing act, be too unresponsive and she'll feel you're not interested. Comes with experience

[HighTicketFreedom]

Great video! I believe there is a saying for this that goes something like:

"we tend to crave what we can't have"

[nervewracking]

I think it's destiny that when I was about to contact my special someone, I've seen many of your videos and decided not to contact her. Thank you very much! 👍

[Diao]

As soon as I began to apply this method...its actually very good advise...because I always felt the need to respond immedietly to a womans messege.
It works a womans mind subconsciously she wont even realize that youre taking long to respond or that youre giving short messages...she subconsciously reacts by giving you longer messages and sends you more messages. You can literally turn the tables on an interaction with a woman that isnt very responsive.

[chrisuk]

Don’t be too unavailable especially if the girl writes to you 1st, I have made the mistake of not responding within 48 hours because of my busy job so the girl moved on and told me I felt you weren’t interested. It’s true that a girl will chase you more if you are unavailable. Girls always write to me 1st because I never text or give them attention but after they give up because I don’t respond within 24 hours.

[KK-wxfw]

As a women if a guy too unresponsive then we’ll assume he’s not interested and move on. Also the responsiveness needs to build as time goes on and our attraction increases, then we don’t mind. But if a guy is too full on when he’s basically still a stranger then we’ll run in the other direction…which is what most guys do. Remember we’re trying to get to know you at the beginning, it doesn’t mean we know you there’s a difference. So be careful not to smother us in the beginning. Nobody likes being smothered especially by a stranger

[stLineMC]

In general, it seems that there is a large burden on men to develop this image of strength and unwavering self-confidence. It seems like men have to invest so much more into themselves to manage their own emotions and stay grounded. In some ways, this feels unfair and imbalanced. Maybe it is because I am young and yet still immature, but often times I feel that I have no problem projecting this image (and truly living it) at the beginning of a relationship, but I struggle with it as the relationship goes on. I will also admit that I am somewhat prone to attachment. I just wish, in some ways, that it didn't feel like some sort of curse to care about somebody, or to fear letting them go. To have those feelings and then act in contradiction because you feel as though it's the best course of action to maintain attraction is sometimes painful and can become exhausting.

[psrathore]

Sir Your points are very very practical and straight to the point I love your videos

[alexhowley]

Literally so golden... started ignoring this chick i been seeing a bit more, bc i used to be so fckin responsive and contantly texting.... now she triple texts me if i dont respond. Its insane. Didnt respond to a message she sent earlier bc it didnt warrant a response, and she just hit me again with another snapchat. This information is unreal. It seems so counter intuitive to getting them hooked on you, but its EXACTLY what you need to do

[TerrelleCheers]

Do you not know how important your channel is to humanity??? Like I can't thank you enough for your content!!

[failurez]

me sending big ass 5-6 paragraphs and receiving an emoji as a reply noice

[stormfalcon]

I never knew any of this stuff and f*cked up my relationship properly.

[engsenalluwant]

Cris is right! He's got a lot of point. I tried no contact on my cold gf yesterday, and it hasn't been 2 days yet and she reaches for my attention and greeted me a good morning today which rarely happened on the past days. I mean its a progress right? I mean i greeted her back and just applied a lil bit of mirroring her actions. I told her good morning, no more ni less. Then I shall maintain my No Contact. Lets see who's tough now!

[bigdaddyplaton]

Guys don‘t misunderstand this video. Don’t be complete jerks. You have primarily to be confident in yourself. Women love men who don’t give a fuck about other peoples opininions, who are pursuing their goals and who live their live in their own way. It doesn’t matter if you are studying If you are yourself then you are unique because who can be like you but you. If you are unique then women are interested in you and want to be part in your life. In the video basically he tells you to not give up everything up for a girl and don‘t run after her Continue your own life show interest and then it will more likely to work and your relationship will be far more healthy

[MuhammadHassan-fjee]

Hey Chris, in your every video, you use to say "attraction grows in space", I 100% agree with it, but if someone is in love with a coworker, and all the time they are in contact with each other, then how space could be maintained. Therefore, your expert opinion is needed on this aspect too.

[jkshallinheritearth]

I'm still at step 1 : getting a female friend!