How to Get a Girl to Think About You – Get Inside Her Mind and Spike Attraction | Based on Science

Attraction grows in space, not in close proximity. If you want to raise a woman’s attraction for you, you first need to get her thinking about you. Being less responsive is one way to accomplish this. There’s a deep underlying psychology when it comes to texting and calling women if you want to build attraction. What you say, how you say it, how long your messages are, how frequently you send messages, who initiates first, and how fast you respond communicates either weakness or strength. When a man immediately responds to a woman’s messages, the woman can’t help but feel the man’s desperation. And what kind of man is desperate? The weak and unattractive man.

Numerous psychological studies show that men who are highly responsive are less attractive to women. A responsive behavior set is comprised of behaviors that signal that a man “understands, values, and is willing to support a woman and invest his resources into the relationship.” In other words, he is prepared to become the ultimate provider both physically and emotionally.

Most men believe that acting this way is a good thing. They assume the more supportive, understanding, and responsive they are the more likely a woman is to find them attractive. And while it’s true that men find responsive women attractive, women don’t feel the same way about responsive men.

If there are any lessons to be learned from studies into attraction, it’s that women aren’t attracted to nice guys. They’re attracted to men who project strength and confidence. If you start with the fundamental truth that women are attracted to strength in all its various forms and guises, it becomes a lot easier to see why being a “nice guy” and why being responsive is so unattractive. From a woman’s perspective, a responsive man is more likely to be exploited by others. The responsive man also sends the signal that he’s eager to please, has a weaker character, and has fewer dating options.

If you’re over responsive and too available, you communicate weakness. A woman wants to know that she can have space without having to worry about you getting upset or becoming clingy. Every human being wants freedom. If a woman thinks you’ll try to restrict her freedom in any way, she’ll instinctively pull away from you. It’s only in times of strife and uncertainty that problems arise. You must never allow your fears and insecurities to derail what should otherwise be a straightforward seduction.


If you want to maintain attraction with a woman, right from the moment you first meet her all the way through to a long-term relationship, then I highly recommend you get a copy of my book Atomic Attraction.


Check out the Get Her Back (Action Plan) for the best way to get your girlfriend back if she's pulled away from you or left you.


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Trust yourself and trust the process,

Chris Canwell

[lendlalfred]

It's real easy for a man to be upset when the girl who he is attracted to don't give him a swift reply. We must fight the temptation to double text, send rude follow up messages or call when the woman in question doesn't respond. Listen guys, Chris is right, you must allow a woman to get back to you in her own time. In the meantime focus on your passion and hobbies. If she gets back than fine, if she never, it's good as well. Never allow a woman's responsiveness determines your happiness.

[michaelramirez]

Never let her know what you're thinking. Stop telling her how attractive she is, how much you miss her and love her. Never tell a woman about your problems, insecurities, and feelings. Only use text messages to set dates. It is really that simple. Prevention is key.

[crackinglad]

As a former champion of neediness and low-value behaviour, I now fully admit the fact that having a creative job + pursuing hobbies and trying to make your own stuff + caring about your phisique and lifestyle leaves you with practically no time for shit like stalking some chick's instagram page, let alone blowing up her phone with pesky unimaginative texts.
Thanks for your insights, mr Canwell!

[marcwareham]

Treat “your 10” like a 5! And remember just because she’s a 10 to you, doesn’t mean she’s a 10 to everyone/anyone else so don’t put her on a pedestal!

[atifayn]

*Never give anyone else the power to make you sad or even happy* ✌🏻

[oppahadventures]

ATTRACTION GROWS IN SPACE ill take note of that

[mayorofthenonsense]

This is why constant texting and talking on the phone is a recipe for disaster - it creates an addiction that cannot be fuelled indefinitely. You get accustomed to receiving validation from her at certain intervals, but sooner or later, she will get sidetracked or simply want some space, at which point you basically go into withdrawals and start freaking out.

Cue the anxiety, double texting, and seeking reassurance from her, which rapidly reveals to her how insecure you are without her. I understand this completely, but even I have to stop myself from getting drawn into the addiction sometimes.

[NiceOne]

Theres never been a more appropriate time for this video, a lot of us are bored at home so it's quite easy to fall into the habit of texting your girl a lot, Try to refrain even if she asks you why you are not being responsive when she texts, just continue. Focus on yourself don't fall into the trap.

[petverso]

all women want validation. if you give her that than you have no more use for her. validate her just enough so that she knows you are attracted to her and she is hooked/wants more, then you cut it off. Its simple, your energy goes where you place it, if you put your attention on her that's where the energy will go, so put your energy on yourself and have a higher priority in life than her and SHE WILL COME!

[farhanmustafa]

I appreciate this man and this channel so much.
Pro tip- Be rough, don't overthink and most importantly don't be afraid to upset a woman

[skillzclinton]

You probably don't remember but I had a consultation with you and your advice saved my relationship. Thank you brother

[mwloos]

One universal truth is if a woman has a strong interest in you she will literally move mountains to communicate with you or see you. Including blowing off family, friends and work.

[oktay.shakirov]

From my experience everything in this video is true and thats kinda sad. If you want someone to be interested on you, you should first be interested on yourself, but the problem is once you learn how to do it you just dont need someone else after that.

[michaelj]

The only reason a man should send a text is:
1). To set a date.
2). Let her know you're on your way or late.
3). Responding to a question.
That's it!
Set a boundary by telling her this up front. "I don't talk by text".

If you're waiting by the phone to respond to a text, don't wait by the phone in anticipation. This is a feminine response. Put your phone down or away, and get your grind on.

[Volksinformant]

Doing a math exam at Harvard University is easier than understanding women! Women are anything but logical!

[TheKoolraj]

Never Chase Bus/Train/ Girl .. All come after every 15 Minutes 😉😉

[humblewolf]

Reputation and image sells better than reality, belief is a powerful thing

[TheRipRoaring]

I did this needy behavior because I misunderstood what women want. I hated sending those types of messages and quick responses, but thought that's what a woman wants. They love talking and telling "you" about their day, usually. I thought they'd appreciate the "Is everything OK?" stuff as caring. Valuable lesson learned. Thank you.

[felbaud]

It’s so true. The best way is to focus on your life hobbies and work. Get fit. Show your are busy work on your business and girls will come. Change the role don’t be weakness she need to come to you firstly. Don’t be needy and be the price. Do not put her on a pedestal. Enjoy your life, travel, do many things.. If she reject you be a man do not be too nice and move on. Seduce others girls (abondance is the key) His book is the best

[NoName-zbgm]

I've read if a woman wants to come home to you at night and that brings her happiness that's all that matters. So don't harass her all day with texts and calls and questions and how are yous. Leave her alone. Let her live her life and you live your life and meet up at the end of the day happy to see each other.