THIS is what SHE wants...

#wife #marriagevideo #relationshipadvice

Marriage is all about commitment and faithfulness and trust and connection and friendship and intimacy. Are you prioritizing those in your relationship? If not, there's really no point in even getting married. That is how we HAVE a great marriage. That is what LOVE requires of us. They aren't add on's. They are essential to a healthy marriage. You can stay together, but the presence of respect and emotional safety and closeness and playfulness is what makes a relationship thrive. And it's possible for you!

[taracuplin]

"I taught her how to live life without me."
Thank you for these words. This is exactly what my husband did for a very long time and it makes me feel less crazy.

[juliep]

“You can assume all of those things are YES”

As a woman who divorced her husband for several reasons including lack of effort on his part, 100% spot on.

[justincase]

I think it's not only "Youre not willing to read the marriage book"
But also "I have told you so many times in so many ways, and if you still have to ask me, the question itself is so offensive in it's implication that you've never paid attention to my words and needs, that I can't even bear to answer it"

[rosiebellmusic]

This channel should be mandatory viewing for every man (and woman) entering into marriage. It's sad when the trust is gone because it is almost impossible to get it back!

[grittyinpink]

It's the marriage "Who's on First?" routine. Husband: "So, what do you want from me?" Wife: "I want you to listen to me." Husband: "So, what do you want from me?" Repeat for as many years as the woman can stand.

[arrowsschoolhouse]

I have a testimony to share with you... I have never seen your videos, never even looked on tiktok for advice but a few nights ago me and my husband went to see the new Avatar and it stirred up so much in me about how I can't keep holding everything in and that we need to be more intentional and vulnerable with eachother and fight together as a team in raising our kids to be in a loving, compassionate, godly home which starts with how we communicate and treat eachother... anyways we got in a huge huge fight which has only happened maybe 5 times in 11 years and my husband ended up letting out alot of brokenness he's been feeling about the things he's done to me and the defensiveness when I've tried to be vulnerable etc.. anyways he was praying for God to help him see and to understand and we prayed together.... well here's the cool story where u come in... this morning right after my husband woke up, a video of yours started playing from my CLOSED laptop, Noone was downstairs yet and it was so loud we heard it from upstairs! like i said i havnt looked up marrital advice recently on anything! so then we've watched a few of your videos today and the way you word and explain things is so perfect... God literally put your videos in front of us today as an answer to our prayers! 🙏😭🙏🥳 we are so thankful!

[cynthiaskaggs]

Too bad my ex husband couldn’t have seen this when it would have made a difference. I tried for years, I showed up for him, encouraged him, held space for him, did whatever I could to support his personal growth. In return I got invalidated, minimized, criticized and mocked whenever I tried to reach out for understanding and emotional support. He could do endless research for his job but it took over 10yrs to get him to even look at the healthy communication/marriage book I gave him. He did finally start reading it and going to counseling by himself… after I moved out. Then tried to make me the ‘bad guy’ for giving up when he was doing all this work on the relationship. I did the hard work for 14yrs of marriage. His journey is his own now. I wish him well and hope he makes the necessary changes for the next woman in his life. It won’t be me.

[amys]

I think if my husband said any of these things to me, literally just one, I would hug him and cry.

[jcortese]

There's also the fact that "you have to tell me exactly what to do" is pretty much the total opposite of initiative. It also implies that even if she does just give up and figure she has to micromanage you like a 2 year old, it also releases you from any responsibility for her unhappiness because hey, you did exactly what SHE told you to! That means if she's still unhappy, it's HER fault now! You were just following orders!

Also ... she's not Mommy: the Sequel. You are an adult. You shouldn't need micromanagement to do what adults do.

[AF-oqbu]

The analogy that men should get (I think) is this: At work, do you go to your coworkers and ask, "What should I do?", or do you just know and do? How would you treat a coworker who was not pulling their weight and they came back with "Well, what do I need to do?" every five minutes?

[matlhogonolobotlhomeng]

I'm literally in tears right now because I thought I was being impossible for a long time. Thank you so much for the message 🤝

[angiem]

This is exactly what all men need to understand about women. You Jimmy, are desciphering an entire world for men and women who are desperate to understand each other and they cannot. A big THANK YOU!
I follow you on FB, YT and IG. Never disappointed about any content I find here.
AMAZING!

[terichastain]

Nailed it. Don't have to be married either. Singles need to see this too.

[messily]

"[You] taught her how to live life without [you]." Oof, that hit true. The thing is, we've put in so much work to bridge our gaps, but I feel like my pain from the past hasn't been acknowledged as legitimate instead of being due to my weakness/faults (ie "she was going through a hard time and it was stressful for all of us."). If I'm damaged, it's for good reason, and only some of it pre-dated our relationship. It's just sad at this point. I'm tired of communicating how sad I am to live life right next to him, but without him. Every day we call this normal is a new hurt.

[greenquartz]

She's probably told you most of these things repeatedly for years. Maybe not always in the best way or at the best time, but you've likely heard what she needs multiple times. So she's also hearing - "I don't hear or respect anything you say. I've never actually listened to you, even when we're fighting, or when you're broken down and crying about this. Your words and emotions don't matter. Your side of this life we share doesn't matter, and I think you just talk to hear your own voice mostly, or to give me grief."

[mrs.keeton]

Thank you sincerely for this video. I don't think I've allowed myself to cry this hard for years. My underlying emotions were spelled out so simply and directly that I even forgot how to identify them clearly and realize that's exactly how I was feeling.

[IvoCharango]

Jimmy, you are the best relationship voice on the internet I've ever heard! I thank the universe for the way you can put things into perspective. I thought I was being really open and supportive and listening and interested in her (and our) well-being. You are showing me new pathways to explore emotionally and opening doors into new intimacy towards my own feelings and reasonings that my wife notices too. And the best part is, this increase in "serving" doesn't take authenticity from me, it actually adds to it. I'm not doing those things for her, I am actually doing them for myself. Because I always wanted to be close to her, and for her to trust me and be vulnerable. I am a romantic, dreaming of a marriage that incorporates all of the things you mention. I thought I had to wait for her to come around on those topics; now I feel empowered that I can do "work" on myself that will bring forth the marriage that I desire.
Thank you so much for being who you are and putting in the effort to make these videos! It's a new universe of emotional possibilities. I am becoming more self-aware and closer to my wife every day!
I am seriously surprised that there are so few guys in the comments.

[k.g.]

Just had this conversation with my husband...for the 50th time. Finally I realized he need to hear that I needed this constantly and for more then a few days here and there. I set a 21 day goal for myself and shared it with him. I drew boundaries and told him they stayed non-negotiable for 21 days. Then we'll check back in. He doesn't get it yet, we'll see how it goes. We are business partners for the next 21 days.

[greciapernia]

Our baby is just 4 months old, and I’m still in this house just because I’m a SAHM and I refuse to send my baby to a daycare, so I’m not making any money at all. If I had an income that allowed me to stay with my baby all day, I would’ve left already. I’ve gone through absolutely every single thing you described in the video and we already had that “Just tell me what you need me to do” conversation and I felt exactly as you described and I still had put myself together to not lose my mind and explain it one more time, and absolutely nothing changed, again. It’s been about a month or two, we barely talk, we don’t hug anymore, we don’t kiss anymore, we don’t share out days, we’re just… I don’t even know, I guess we just live together and that’s it. I’m done trying my hardest to fix something that someone else tries his hardest to mess up. I’m just done, I’m not here anymore, I somehow turned off my emotions. That was my last try, that was my last hope, that was the tiny little piece of thread I had left, and he cut it off himself

[undyingtome]

This is so validating, wow. Feel like I’ve been gaslit about having needs for years.