When They Leave Without Warning: Navigating the Emotional Fallout

Be The Village
P.O. Box 348
Maineville, OH 45039

[savannahking]

As a 29 year old who was a foster teen…..I have been the one running from the safe home. Asking for the safe home and then leaving. Asking to be dropped off and never returning. I have now apologized to the ones I hurt. The ones I didn’t see for many years. Women who love the way you do impacted me and shaped me to the incredible future wife and future mom I am today. Thank you for loving so deeply and for supporting teens the way you do. Please trust me that it does go a long way and I am so sorry for the way it hurts.

[sybleythomas]

I'm sorry you had to go through this. You are a wonderful foster mom and mother to these kids.

[nodawnnoday]

Holy moly... I had no idea you are going through a divorce.. I never saw it coming. Wishing you and your family well. <3

[CCole]

As someone who works in the child welfare system I want to say Thank You! Thank you for caring for and loving the youth who enter your home. Thank you for providing a safe place for them where they are comfortable calling you when they need help. I’ve worked with countless foster care providers who are not willing to allow youth who have aged out to remain in their home even when our county and/or Bridges is providing some funding, although notably the per diem is less for an aged out teen and I understand how that can be a challenge/barrier. The fact that you allowed this youth back into your home, no expectations of a per diem speaks volumes about who you truly are as a foster caregiver. So thank you for being you and for caring for the ones who truly need it the most!

[naptruallyours]

Foster Care is an emotional roller-coaster. I've been a Bonus Mom to newborn babies and my heart dies everytime they left. The one that we had since he was 2 months old left us abruptly after 2 years and recently have been with us for one year. We're in the process of adopting him now but it's still hard. I pray for you and your family because I've been watching your videos for a long time.

[ajs]

No judgment here whatsoever, just positive vibes being sent your way - keep doing what you’re doing.x

[bnicoleswope]

Your impact on that teen may not be known for years or ever, but it’s inevitable. They will remember you forever. And maybe some day, they will realize they always deserved to have what they couldn’t accept and had to run from. You’re doing so great considering everything going on in your life, Whitney ❤️

[limlrumerl-]

It's really beautiful to see how differentiated you process your emotions. How you aknowledge the hurt and still keep your open heart! That's really strong of you and a wonderful rolemodel for all kids in your house! Keep it up, you're doing great! 💛

[Zairabear]

I work everyday in our foster room right now. After our last move out our hearts needed a break. It's been almost 4 months and I still cry whenever I let myself think of the kiddo, but I find myself in the room constantly. I've had breakdowns over pjs and puzzle pieces, and although most things were cleaned and put away, I couldn't help myself but to leave the crayon scribbles on the wall. At least for now. We went from very invested and full of love for this family, to no contact overnight and not due to our own doing. Hard is an understatement.
Sending so much love, peace, and reminders of strength your way during the heavy transition.

[sarahberns]

Contact paper on desk-tops/shelves is an option to refresh tops if needed rather than repainting, also drawer fronts, you could alternate drawers/ colors if not all need repair. Pretty quick to diy. Best wishes on the hard days, u rock.

[KM-yeso]

Sending love to you, Darcy, Sawyer, and the teen who is no longer with you. I hope they're okay. Thank you for being so transparent about your emotions. Hopefully others going through the same thing can relate.

[sharonvisini]

Sorry for the challenges and changes in your personal life, It amazes me that you continue to foster with your changed circumstances . LOVE

[erinnh]

I’ve followed you for a long time. This mom thinks of you a lot (in a non creepy way). I’ve long admired your communication and parenting skills. One thing I remind myself as a parent of a teen is that if my kid is moody (I’m being gentle here), it’s because they feel comfortable enough around me to do so. It’s very frustrating parenting a teen. It’s such a balance for you to both be supportive and loving while also showing that you are a human being who has feelings. As you said, you also need to show boundaries.

Remember that D and S are watching how you set boundaries as well. It is healthy for them to see you can be caring for others but also caring for yourself mentally and physically.

This is all so tricky. There is no easy answer or it wouldn’t be a video on YouTube. You’re a fantastic mom and human. Keep swimming. 🐟

[ardenchaplin]

I’m here from our chat on Instagram earlier. Hoping to learn lots from you as I always have in the last few years ❤

[LindaY]

Sorry this teen took off without warning. It’s tough when we don’t know what will trigger our foster kids. I hope your year begins to brighten! ❤

[lgarner]

I love your beautiful explanation of why you care. Absolutely the best human connection and investment in our community. Thank you.

[hf]

I likely will never foster, but just wanted to say I really appreciate all the effort you put in to making these videos and sharing your knowledge and experience. I feel like some aspects will really help me if i'm a parent one day! Thank you for being vulnerable. Sending you lots of love and compassion ❤

[crustyrash]

I am sorry about your negative experience, it has to be hard not to invest emotionally and risk getting hurt. I am an adult who is still trying to heal from childhood trauma. I still struggle with abandonment and trying to feel things. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing what you were able to give this teen. Peace

[Lurthatgurl]

Sending so many positive thoughts and prayers your way Darcy! I’ve been a follower for a long time and admire the love and stability you give these children that come into your home. The kids that are placed with you are truly blessed to be with you. I will continue to look up to you. And if there is anything I can do ex Amazon wishlist, donation, gift cards, etc. let me know

[kristyp]

So sorry you are going through this. Thank you for sharing. Many times it feels like foster bloggers/vloggers make it seem like fostering is always sunshine and roses and that foster parents' feelings don't exist. Thank you for showing we are human people and it's okay to be upset and hurt sometimes. Wishing all the best for you and your family