BPD and Alexithymia | PETER FONAGY

Peter Fonagy, one of the creators of Mentalization-Based Treatment, discusses Borderline Personality Disorder from the viewpoint of a clinician / all-around smart person.

[MichaelKilbey]

One of the best pieces I have seen on BPD. Thank you

[briansalzano]

As someone with bpd, I do have trouble making sense of my emotions sometimes. But I'm not clear on what he said. He seemed to suggest that bpd impedes a person's ability to represent their primal emotions symbolically. And I'm not sure that this is related, but as a kid I was preoccupied with what "self" was because I assumed it was an image in one's mind. One day, I discovered it's an immediate intuition and not an image or object that's static.

[sapiensm.s.p]

Honestly, I can´t remember when was the last time I knew I was feeling something distinctively. This is the first time I´ve heard this, I thought I was just plain stupid. I am 26 and I have isolated myself from everyone.

[accordionSWE]

Typical experience at work place. Co worker lose mentalization capacity and project the inner emotional turmoil to an innocent co worker who is just busy working. It is an provocative attack out of the blue and an attack one is unprepared for. Like just walking on the street and someone thinks you are somebody else and start an argument with you. In an instant what do one do to solve the problem? It is not easy. A co worker stopped me two months ago while I was busy working and complained to me about not doing a task he felt was important. I understood it was of importance and told him that I could do a part of the task but then he exploded and pointed to another part of the task and asked me angrily if I thought this part of the task was not of importance? I got furious because I felt humiliated. Stripped of capacity to discuss the issue with him because he was just being stupid.

[noannabadanna]

I've never been able to articulate how I feel as I'm feeling it. It's a nightmare for relationships

[LineageIowa]

Could this be tied in anyway to why I spent years of my life dissasociated and trying to understand everything about myself and everyone elses

[lechatleblanc]

my sister seems to experience anger as perhaps her only emotion which is not superficial in nature. she acts very nervous as if shes always running away from this rage thats always right beneath her skin, ready to be triggered and released at the drop of a pin. she has zero ability to internally AND peacefully process her own Emotions WITHOUT BLAMING OR MANIPULATING THOSE CLOSEST TO HER. shes always blaming somebody for her feelings. and if shes not doing these things, shes very scary and weird cuz u can tell theres a lot shes not telling you and she gives u big wide scared eyes as if ur the scary one....and im like, no ur scared of ur own feelings right now.... its just so crazy how one sybling can be so different than the other. shes a nut with a squirrel brain and she thinks she can hide it all and make me think shes super normal ... im like i see ur squirrel eyes, they are currently spinning, as if u have no real connection to ur own emotions... it does seem she may not even know what shes feeling and it all just builds up into a ball of rage by the time her period comes.... she has no ability to accurately or deeply self reflect in the moment . she resorts to only noticing physical sensations instead of metal emotions. its like shes a man in this way and yet she thinks im the more masculine one.

[renacleerican]

In french it is called " écorché vif", it could be a very good name for pwbpd.

[lechatleblanc]

it makes perfect sense that my sister would marry another very mentally ill person... both highly highly narcissistic... they dont care about another persons emotional or mental experience ...they only care about others material or sensual experiences. its like im just a body to them.... i never feel fully human or like i exist in their presence. i always feel very judged and like im never pleasing to them enuf. even when i am the most sweet and quiet and pleasant person in the world, i never feel appreciated or loved or accepted by them...i am not sure why since i like them perfectly well, even if i dont like their mentsl illness.

when i decide to be with them i decide they are not mentally ill, but unfortunately this doesnt actually make their mental illness dissapear.

[lechatleblanc]

some mental illness is tolerable... if my sister was any fun to be around, id have no problem with her mental illness..

she can give a very superficial self evaluation moment by moment.... but its always severely or slightly clouded by innacurate self and other perception.... she even interprets interpersonal interactions incorrectly in movies ... that proves to me that im correct in thinking she doesnt interpret the world correctly and lacks any natural ability to just trust or form attachment that isnt self serving and always lacking any real depth or genuine trust, respect or friendship...

[lechatleblanc]

shes overly dramatic and cares about others opinions way too much ... she thinks she can just be seen as normal if every (body ) around her is materially and sensually taken care of.... she treats people more as bodies rather than whole human beings with whole mental lives