5 Secrets That Successful People Rarely Own Up To

In this episode, we break down some less-obvious privileges behind those success stories that end up on 30-under-30 lists.

Through weekly video essays, "Making It Work" showcases how *real* people have upgraded their personal or financial lives in some meaningful way. Making your life work for you doesn't mean getting rich just for the sake of it. It means making the most of what you have to build a life you love, both in your present and in your future. And while managing money is a crucial life skill for everyone, there's no one "right way" to go about it — you have to figure out what works best for *you,* full stop.

Video by Grace Lee

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[plateofpasta]

the family you were born into really affects the outcome of your life, which is extremely sad because it's something no one has any control over

[theMad]

To add to the privilege of being able to live with parents… that privilege is amplified when parents live in large urban centers or where the person is able to work AND live at home!

[JasS]

I don’t think #2 is discussed anywhere near enough - being put down, dismissed or having your dreams trampled as a child is something you have to battle against for the rest of your life

[joyphillips]

Staying at a job longer than you should because you need money to help support your siblings or parents is a real toll on a young adult. It doesn't allow you take a lower paying job that will give you more experience just because your paycheck is needed more by your family.

[bethanijade]

0:54 They got to live at home (or the door was always open)
1:35 Positive reinforcement
2:27 They had good mental health (or just good health overall)
3:18 They didn't suffer from a toxic home environment
3:43 They only had to worry about themselves

[crazybeatles]

Yes to all of this. I realized as an adult that I have the privilege of learning in a way that is mainstream. By this I mean that school was something I excelled at, because I'm smart and worked hard but also because my brain works in the ways that mainstream education expects it to. Repetition, memorizing, lectures, etc. There's so many incredibly smart and hard working kids that struggle because their minds just work differently and instead of getting good grades end up consistently struggling at school.

[Wombiebat]

Very well put together, and very well said. You earned my subscription. I don't have most of these privileges growing up, and have worked extremely hard in the past few years to improve my mental health/free myself from the burdens of childhood traumas, and learn to live with anxiety and ADD. One of the many kind things I've learn to tell myself frequently is "life isn't easy, be kind (especially to yourself.)" I used to compare myself to the most successful people around me all the time, and questioned why I haven't "made it, " and always forgot to give myself credit for all of the difficulties I've overcome, and the things I actually have accomplished. Now I'm much more reasonable with my perspectives towards myself and life. These days, if I'm happy and healthy (most of the time, ) I consider myself pretty successful. As for career and wealth, I'm gradually doing what I could, and slowly building that with my husband. Thanks to anyone who reads up till this point. I wish you true happiness, health and long term wealth.

[mouseluva]

Thank you so much for this video. I had all of these privileges until I was 20, and then I suffered a nervous breakdown and my health and ability to work have never recovered. I've made my peace with the idea that I will never be conventionally successful, but it's exhausting having to constantly explain it to people around me.

[christianj]

I'm surprised they didn't mention perhaps the biggest factor when it comes to job success anywhere above minimum wage: connections, connections, connections. this often goes along with wealth, and having good connections can be the difference between working as the person cleaning at a hotel or the person owning the hotel. in fact one of the main benefits of being rich is going to places where you can mingle and network with fellow rich people.

[LoveAndSnapple]

I resonate the most with the last one. When you have to mind other people and their emotions you’re not able to focus on your wants and desires. If anything, you’ll start to backtrack and think how your wants and desires will affect other people.

So you end up making yourself smaller and limiting your own choices and opportunities so that other people won’t suffer. Even though they won’t be suffering at all because the emotional manipulation that they put you through make you believe that your actions have a direct impact on their lives.

[iliafirpo]

Wow! I'm really thankful for this video. I came from a very poor family and managed to succeed in wealth. I thought that it was all me and my hard-work. Yet, this video makes me realize on how fortunate I was in having such amazing parents that guided me to be better, even if it wasn't my monetary means.

[averil]

Thank you for this! I have mental health issues like PTSD from childhood neglect, then went into foster care. I wanted to give up on life. People don't realise how lucky they have it sometimes.

[ave_rie]

What concerns me more is that we may be labeling children’s rights as “privilege”. A supportive and loving family, a home, finances for living costs, etc. are basic rights that every child, regardless of age, must automatically have. It’s sad that these basic human needs are so out of reach for so many of us, and they are so expensive to the point that having them is called being “privileged” or even luxurious.

A parent paying for their child’s independent adult home/wedding, funding their child’s business, using their connections to automatically get a job for their child, paying for their vacations even as an adult - these are the kind of privileges that when omitted from success interviews, really irritate me more than the ones listed here.

Edit to add: (off-topic) this is why I hate it when some governments are doing half-assed attempts to support families or to get more young adults/adults in general to have kids. If they did, then more children would be raised with these privileges. Having kids and having the time, effort, and resources to raise them is a luxury. There is a weird tone in these programs that comes off as “it is your responsibility to have kids”, “for the future”, “for the economy”. “you NEED children”…. and then they don’t support kids. They make it ten times more difficult for parent/s. There is no “village” for kids to be raised in anymore.

[mandymoore]

Seriously mental health is extremely difficult to get thru. Especially when ur on ur own.

[kjh.]

The first one off the bat, another side to that would be people who had to leave their "homes" because of things like traumatic experiences and toxic environments (numbers 3-5)
*Thank you for the whole list, I feel seen, and it's been so hard having none of that*

[kgal]

The positive reinforcement is so true. I was watching a video the other day about this guy who went from the mail room to doing multi million dollar deals. In it he mentions people telling him he'd be good at a certain job and he should go for it. That positive reinforcement especially from people he wasn't related too really helped, but in the end you still have people in the comments going "he had nothing and made it something" and I'd just like. to argue you can't discount hard work, but he also had. a lot going for him outside the work he did directly.

[tinalusiany]

Supportive environment is alllwayyyssss a huge privilege.
Loving parents, nice teachers, true friends who aren't slandering and don't have crab mentality.

[masterofnothing]

I'm happy for people who can save money by living at home! I lived with my mom when I went to grad school, but she started charging me rent. The rent she charged me ate up most of my pay (I only worked part time), and the rest went to transportation, school, and bills (my personal bills and shared bills). I wanted to stay to try to help out, but it was honestly just as expensive moving back home as it was for me to move out! I don't think she fully understood I had real bills and wasn't just using my paychecks to play around.

[Zeverinsen]

And don't forget: Parents with higher education.
Having one or two parents that instill general knowledge in you and are able to help you with homework, shapes you so much more than you imagine.

It's not until I became an adult that I really saw how my mother's career as a teacher made me perform effortlessly well in the classes related to her job, despite suffering from undiagnosed ADHD.
If it hadn't been for her pedagogical understanding, I wouldn't have done very well in school at all!
On the flip side, she's absolutely TERRIBLE at math, and as such I've always had bad to mediocre math results.
I still do, and compared to my class mates, I have to put in an absolutely excruciating amount of work to perform at a mediocre level, and it often just falls to the way side because it's so exhausting.

[Bloombaby]

Hyper-Independence is a result of trauma. In other words, "My ability to trust other people has been injured too many times so therefore I must be in control and do everything myself." That feeling can motivate you to work hard for your perceived version of success, yes, but it can also be exhausting and cumbersome.

I wanted to add this because I think it ties into some points of the video.