The Pain of Broken Memories

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About this video essay:
An in-depth analysis and examination of Charlotte Wells’ incredible debut film Aftersun; a beautifully intricate mosaic of memories, artifacts and imagination, that tries to piece together a fragmented past.

Content:
00:00 A Mosaic of Memories, Artifacts and Imagination
00:51 A Child’s Landscape
03:25 Journeying into the Past
05:40 Reaching Your Parents’ Age
08:10 Fragments of Truth
10:05 Filling in the Gaps
14:05 A Bridge to the Past
19:45 Conclusion

Listen to my podcast, Cinema of Meaning:

Further Reading:

Music:
Christopher Dennis Coleman – Vesper
Anton Belov – Grandmother
Sun Rain – Afterthought
Inola – Arctic
Inola – Andes

[alexanderzhukov]

Sophie is entering her teens and starts to notice things, but only the bright things of adulthood - partying and kissing and having fun. The darker side of being an adult is hidden from her despite being so close. What devastates me the most is the idea that we might never understand our parents in time, only afterwards.

[tybrent]

I lost my father at 9 to cancer. He was 32 and as I am now 30 and my daughter is now 9 I've been living this. This hit really close to home. It's a struggle to hold back the tears.

[EubulusKane]

"Like a lost soul who accidentally survived his own self-destruction" beautifully put

[harrykeeling]

Aftersun is a staggering achievement. As an exploration of parenthood, family, love, depression it's so thoughtful and so quietly incisive it's hard to believe it's the work of a first time director.

[Darrow]

This was my absolute favorite film last year, I genuinely wanted Paul Mescal to win best actor for his quiet and more realistic take on depression… the subtleness of his performance is what made it all the more moving

EDIT: Wow really appreciative of all the likes everyone! Hoping everyone’s year has been well thus far 😊

[SidPhoenix]

Aftersun easily secured it's place on my personal list of "movies that made me cry like a lil bitch a LOT" lol

[discon_csert]

This made me cry. I've never seen this movie but this analysis is moving and I'm going to have to watch it now.

[geoffreydesena]

I haven't cried this much during a LSOO video in a while now. Absolutely beautiful. Thanks, Tom.

[JamezKelly]

What I love about Aftersun is that despite how sad and heartbreaking it can be, it's a somewhat calm and meditative film. Kind of how Sophie is taking time figuring out the past before the last dance occurs and calums tai chi. I've seen it a few times at the local cinema and it's good to relax in it, yet also take time to really understand the characters.

[Ralderable]

What a movie! Not to mention the brilliant use of familiar lyrics that take on a wholly new meaning through Sophie's lens - as we experience in tandem, both the lingering uncertainty, and almost instinctual empathy of young Sophie and the loss and mourning of adult Sophie - Sophie who struggles still with the reality of knowing she will never [again] have the chance to look upon the father she never wholly knew (yet loved so dearly). "Why can't we give love one more chance? Cause love's such an old fashioned word, and love dares you to care for her people on the edge of the night, and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves."

[nickbooze]

It didn't hit me until two days after but I cried and cried. I've always battled what Paul's character had battled.

[kaidenvi]

"It wasn't about what was on the camera, it was about who was holding it."

absolute gem of a line, sir <3

[Kieslowski]

My favourite of 2022 along with Tár, Banshees and Joyland. I probably have written a lot about Aftersun in my journals that I physically keep.
Having a turbulent relationship with my father myself, I could definitely feel the fact that we just consider them as people meant to fulfill their role. To help us sail smoothly. As a teenager, I've always felt myself superior to my father and have vocally expressed it many times to his annoyance. We always consider ourselves as extremely complex human beings having ideas and ideologies the depth of a well. We think that we can read anyone but we don't even come close to understanding our own parents.
I'm not shedding tears.

[Jacob-Vivimord]

This was a great one, Tom. Aftersun made me thoughtful, and I think it's the first time I've cried more after a movie than when I was actually watching it. A wonderful piece of filmmaking.

[Vicky-kees]

This movie is really something else, once I completed the movie I was moved to be sure, but the real rollercoaster starts once the viewer starts searching for answers, I wanted to fill those gaps myself, the more I dived deep the more I felt what Sophie might have felt, then I had to convince myself that it's just a story, and all I can do was interpret and never know the whole truth of what actually happened, just like Sophie had to live the rest of her life, fragmented bits of memory, intense yet never whole..

[rocktheroadtowembley]

Very good essay, I love your personal perspective on the movie! I think what Callum tells Sophie about his own childhood is very important as well, how he was neglected by his own parents, and how this shaped him as a person in a way. He tries everything to be a good father, but ultimately depression darkens his bright side. For me, the scene where you see that Sophie has her fathers carpet at home - the one he bought in Turkey - was hitting me like a truck. It means that he's no longer alive, and all he left her was the carpet and the VHS tapes.

[sumosimson]

Hey Tom, long time fan here. A few years ago, my dad died and it's been kind of a struggle ever since. Not that my life is going that badly, it's just always hanging over my head. The word I like best is "heimwee" (Dutch for homesickness but I feel it has a slightly different meaning once translated), but it's just always there, memories of a distant past and a desire to go back to it. Whatever it is, several of your videos have provided me with a sort of consolation, or a different perspective that's certainly helped, like the one on Afterlife, or "Why we can't save those we love", and now you've done it again. My favourite youtuber on here and it's honestly not even close.

[Enid.fitts]

I lost my parents at the age of 13, now I am 31 and have a 10-year-old daughter, this movie touched me in a very personal way, as one tries to make sense of what was left of the memory of our parents having known them for such a short time and from the perspective of a child, after going through periods of anger, when you reach adulthood and are almost the same age as they were, you realize that they were just people fighting with their own demons while trying to raise a person and finally you can forgive them

[techboy]

I think you make a great point with Calums potential homosexual struggle. Not so much as it represents why Calum is depressed, but rather how it is adult Sophie trying to attach a tangible reason as to why Calum was struggling so much. Trying her hardest to relate to her Dad as she has now reached his age. That's essentially what the rave sequences are all about: Sophie begging her Dad to just say why he did it. Yearning for an understanding. And the tragedy of it is that Sophie finally pushes him away at the end of the rave sequence. Finally accepting that the exercise is useless, there is no more to learn, just a fading memory and an imaginary realm where he still exists. Sophie has to accept that the childhood image of her Dad was a facade, and she has to let go of it. Moving on herself, with a child and a girlfriend, and to try and not perpetuate the same mistakes her dad made. "This is ourselves."

[MeerkatChris]

Aftersun immediately shot into my all-time favourite films. I lost my father early in 2022, who I also felt never really wholly knew and had unintentionally pushed away a few years prior (but always looked forward to that big reunion, which ultimately never would come), so this whole film absolutely hit me like a ton of bricks... This lovely essay just reaffirms how beautifully real Aftersun is.