'Gay' vs. 'Same-Sex Attracted': It matters more than you think.

In some Christian spaces, "gay" and "same-sex attracted" mean two different things. But why? And does it really matter?

Here's the story you've never heard of how one word came to mean two completely different things—and why our choice today of "gay" or "same-sex attracted" could have ripple effects around the world.

A few additional notes after you've watched the video:

- For this project, I tracked the usage of these terms through mainstream books and newspapers, as well as boxes full of privately archived "ex-gay" materials from a variety of sources. Along the way, I discovered lots more worth digging into in future videos, so I'd love to hear from you if you found this interesting.

- That 1892 psychology text was Charles Gilbert Chaddock's English translation of Psychopathia Sexualis by Richard von Krafft-Ebing, originally published in German in 1886. As far as I'm aware, it's also got the first English usage of the term "bisexual" in its more-or-less modern sense.

- Frank Worthen really was the most influential figure in the founding of the ex-gay movement, and one of the few high profile leaders who never disavowed it. I digitized that audio clip of him myself from a cassette tape of Worthen describing the beginnings of the movement to a crowd of fellow ex-gays.

- About that press conference: Notice that Museveni doesn't even use the word "gay" in his remarks at all—and yet the misinformation and misunderstandings that drove his decision were directly influenced by the "gay" vs. "SSA" conversation in the US. (I spent many, many hours researching and tracking this just to be sure.)

In short, the American language misunderstanding from 50 years ago started a snowball rolling, but that snowball can have a devastating impact all over the world, even where the context is completely different and that particular language debate isn't relevant. Something that starts out being about a word can end up being about much more. That's why we need to understand this history and be careful with our language.

Thanks again to everyone who helped support this project and upcoming ones as well! If you liked this, you know the drill: Share, like, subscribe, become a patron, and/or bring me to speak to your group, and let's keep educating folks together!

[johnk]

I find it a little strange that the term "gay lifestyle" is still used even thought its incredibly outdated

[lynnbaker]

The larger conversation that is not being had is " why is it so important for homosexuality to be seen as being chosen "? The reason is because, before something can be seen as being wrong, it first must be seen as being chosen, and, therefore subconsciously worthy of contempt and hatred through subjective comparison.

[Sam-vt]

People like you help other people like myself see that homosexuals are nice, kind humans not some sinful or problematic peopl. Keep going love from Iran.

[RichardDeacons]

almost 4 years ago, at 57 years old and in 20+ year marriage to a woman, I had to face the fact that I was gay (an incredible bout of depression DEMANDED I learn to be honest about myself). When I met with my Pastor, the FIRST things he said was "let's get one thing, I've known you for 15 years. You are NOT gay! You might be same sex-attracted but you are not gay!" I was so incredibly confused and, honestly, deeply hurt that this man who was a true and respected friend to me would so callously invalidate a truth I had battled against for decades upon decades. It had cost me dearly to be open about who I was and what had felt my whole life and this man was totally invalidating that, insulting my sacrifices and inferring that I was ignorant my own self. That was the last time I spoke with him.
Now, seeing your video, I think I realize that he was simply using outmoded terminology that was incongruent with my experience. Thank you for sharing this. So HAPPY to have found you content!

[davidoran]

Some people are not born straight, that's all.

[kineticpsi]

As someone thinking of joining the Catholic church, I'm really appalled by their pressure to use "same-sex attracted" instead of "gay." As someone that is gay, maybe just let me use the word I want to use when talking about myself and my feelings? That'd be great.

[charlottekirkman]

So excited to see a new post by you! And you produce what everyone needs to hear. Please keep educating so that one day we can all be accepting and worship together. You are amazing Justin! Please don’t stop the videos. You are making a difference!

[craighoekema]

Thanks for this helpful post, Justin. For years now, I have gravitated toward the term "same-sex attracted" because it helps me not to think of anyone living with this experience as belonging to a separate category of personhood...whereas I became aware some years ago that using the term "gay" had led me to subtle forms of thinking that way. So especially as someone who speaks publicly on these things from time to time, it's really helpful for me to better understand the baggage that comes with the term "same-sex attracted" and the potential for miscommunication. I will do my best to be much clearer and more careful going forward.

[WHR]

I grew up with the same situation. People demanded that I call myself same-sex attracted rather than gay. It was so dumb.

[frankdeboer]

Thanks for this. As a gay but celibate man who is also a retired minister in a conservative church this has given me a lot to think through. Thanks again.

[coolfix]

You helped me here all the way in Karnataka, India

thank you for being honest Justin.

[CAT-]

Huh. I never even thought about there being a different between the phrases

[trevorhawkins]

Gets me should we still be using the word "straight". Whilst it's meaning is generally understood widely, does it perhaps reinforce the idea that anything else is odd or different in a bad way?

[rd]

Thank you for taking the time to bring understanding and nuance into clouded corners, with compassion and clarity.

It's great to see you on YouTube again! Missed your videos.

[matthewking]

What you shared on this video is so very helpful to me as a gay man and as an elementary educator, especially since gov. Ron DeSatan has signed the don't say gay bill into law in Florida. I live in Texas and feel that gov. hot wheels is not far behind the Florida gov.in punishing teachers for helping their LGBTQ+ students to feel safe and supported while at school. You are truly a blessing to the gay Christian community.

[ForeverHeHim]

Hi Justin, happy to see a new video from you! It's so important to dispel the confusion and make the distinction between the terminology like these. Would you consider posting this on your Instagram so it can be publically shared on people's stories? Thanks!

[anthonyscarborough]

As an out and proud agnostic gay man, this really helped me understand some of the nuances around how some Christians actually view homosexuality. I still don’t agree with it, but I understand it better now and can better help the other side understand my point of view. Good job 👍

[MiguelFernandez-xons]

Thank you Justin for treating this topic with respect and sensitivity. I myself am a Christian and I've always been told to say that I have same-sex attractions and not identify as a gay man. I went to 2 years of EX gay ministry in San Rafael, Love and Action, but I still struggle with the feelings of Attraction towards men but I do not act on them anymore. I choose to be celibate because it's the only way I can find a way of reconciling my faith and my attractions to members of the same sex. I've always been taught that homosexuality is a sin and that I need to repent. I can have the feelings but I cannot act on them. I've struggled my whole life in and out of the gay community trying to find a place to fit in somehow but could not. I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. So I just kind of gave up and now I'm just celibate. It's the only way I can feel at peace with myself and God.
I still maintain contact with a couple of gay friends and I do activities like hiking and going to the movies. Sometimes it's a lonely life and I get tired of being alone. But I'm 64 years old now and there's lots of people that are alone and my age. But I thank you for the compassion in this video. I will call myself gay, not same sex attracted. I don't want to be the "Dave" that people use to ostracize others who might be in the same situation I am. Love, compassion, understanding, and acceptance of everyone regardless of who they love. Always treat people with respect and love.❤

[martiansonmaui]

There are nine known genes on four different chromosomes that, when switched on, cause males to feel different kinds of same-sex attraction. It is 100% natural, a result of environmental conditions of the prenatal mother, and not something that can be prayed away. While occurrence of homosexuality is rare in first-born sons, the chances of having a gay son increases by 30% for each subsequent male child.

[moonkey]

I was about to point out that many non English cultures have had understanding of gay people for a long time, but then i returns the vid and you specify "not an English word for it" so... good job.