why am i like this - original song | Orla Gartland

me on *other parts* of the web:
insta: @orlagartland

................

lyrics:

Last night I smoked a cigarette
My dad would have been so upset
then we got tattoos by the coast
and i stood there just like a ghost

maybe i’m an old soul trapped in a young body
maybe you don’t really want me there at your birthday party
i’ll be there in the corner, thinking right over
every single word of the conversation we just had

…

why am i like this?

...

I saw a girl crying on the train
gin and tonic from a can to ease the pain
i never asked if she was OK
she just got up and walked away

it feels like looking down from the ceiling above
never in the moment, never giving enough
let’s go out and shout the words we never said
i got my mistakes on loop inside my head

…

why am i like this?

...

x

[orlagartland]

I LOVE HEARTSTOPPER. hi to all fellow fans of Nick & Charlie - thank you for looking up my song :') it is on spotify - just search for 'why am I like this?' and you'll find it there on my profile alongside my first album which I released last year. I'm on tour right now and brewing lots of new songs for the next chapter.. LOVE YOU X

[sleepful]

is there anyone else who IMMEDIATELY had to know what song this was after hearing it in heartstopper?? you are so talented!!!

[glixhh]

This song with the scene with Nick questioning his sexuality made me tear up, it's just such a perfect combination and brings out so much emotion to scene. The entire showed the thoughts of a queer teen perfectly. Your voice is absolutely amazing, I really love this.

[lawleighette]

"I got my mistakes on loop inside my head" hit me hard

[e.ren]

This song is in heartstopper and I loved it

[RosileeJe]

It took me all of like 0.7 seconds to recognize this when it started playing in Heartstopper and I got SO EXCITED. It fit the scene so well and was just super cool to hear in the show!! Had to let the credits roll just to vibe along lol
Welcome to any newcomers to her music coming from the show, you won't be disappointed believe me

[majortom]

*_i aM CONVINCED THAT YOU HAVE MAGIC POWERS HONESTLY WHO WRITES SONGS LIKE THAT I'M IN LOVE_*

[dorkagreznevics]

I NEED THIS ON SPOTIFY I’M BEGGING YOU

[stephyeah]

it really feels like you just took a good look into the deepest part of my brain and made it a catchy song

[nucksuget]

This?
I'm almost a man of 30 years but, the first time I heard this? I cried. I didn't get choked up, no weeping. I cried like a child with skinned knees and a broken bone. This hit me somewhere special.
All of this.

[Liv-uzdz]

at first I was like "so I like the song but it´s sad that the chorus is just one sentence. Could have made more out of that" but then I realized that when I start overthinking and hating on myself it´s this sentence on loop in my head (like she sings in the last verse) "why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this???" and now I really love it.

[elleandtoni]

Loving the rawness of that bridge at 2:07. 😍

[Kawaremu]

This song deserves to be in some films endings, idk, just saying.

[deryaverahmi]

I literally NEVER comment on anything but girl this is FIRE

[indiabradshaw]

The more I listen to this song (and I listen to this song a lot), the more I think that it's lyrically one of Orla's strongest works and an incredible depiction of anxiety as a whole.

Choosing to sing "why am I like this?" over and over again is just so smart. The sound of that repeating phrase is remarkably reminiscent of the internal thought process you get stuck inside in the middle of an anxious moment – it's like she's took a feeling and perfectly crafted it into music and lyrics.

I also love how she touches on every group of people in her life: her family, her friends, her acquaintances, a random girl on the train. The scope of anxiety seeping into the brain is so wide and reaches every crevice, every human interaction.

It’s no wonder to me that Orla is going places with songs like this and I can't wait to see everything she does next 😊 The world this kind of songwriting and I'm so glad the internet allows me to hear it

[ryandaniel]

I cried during this scene, i remembered how scared i was the first time typed in "am i gay", so yeah i understand why nick cried, i understand how scary it is...i love how the song also amplifies this scene gosh, im crying all over again writing this comment

[AhoyKelsey]

I need this on Spotify so I can play it 25/7

[anitonoyan]

Please put this on like Spotify or something. This is beautiful.

[razbuten]

When YT recommends songs like this to me I a) feel personally attacked by the implication the algorithm is making about me, b) realize it is 1am and I am still online when I should be asleep, c) think youtube's algorithm may have a point, and d) am thankful for musicians like you who write and perform honest and beautiful music.

[noodlesfromspace]

While Heartstopper is an amazing show, my biggest takeaway from it is a whole bunch of additions to my playlist lol. Great music choices