cowpoke - Johnny Western

For research purposes..

Do you like poking cows? Word going around town is you do, just don’t be doing that out on the Diamond W ranch, Johnny Western does not approve of that activity being carried out on his personal property…. You see that long leather holster lookin’ thing hanging off the saddle of his prize stallion with the superb execution of a highly detailed scene of antelope and deer having fun and buffalo just roaming around embossed the entire length? It IS a holster, and it’s where he keeps his trusty over-under. But it ain’t filled with buckshot, it’s got 2 slugs,, and if he catches you poking cows on his ranch, you can have whichever one you like…. I want to warn you that one of those slugs from that sucker is gonna make a hole in you as big as one of those gooseberry pies your granny would whip up if company came a callin’ after church on Sunday when we had Pastor Reginald from Canepile filling in for Pastor John givin’ service instead. I don’t have to remind you how big and round those pies were, you are not walking away from that. Yer sorry pipsqueak tail ain’t never even finish one slice of that big and round gooseberry pie in your entire life….insofar I would say intentionally poking the free range cattle with your index finger, sticks, unmentionables, your antler handle bowie knife, anything that protrudes and then makes contact with a bovine that is upon the 60,000 acre expanse of Johnny Western’s Diamond W ranch would make you one dumb son-of-a-bitch, and you will get what you deserve for poking that man’s cows.
Well I reckon you are not a dumb son-of-a-bitch, because you are standing here talking to me right now. You were just taking a shortcut to Crittle Creek, Johnny knows about this shortcut, it don’t matter to him none no way…. The herd is on the other side of sharp rock hill since all them people died down there in Trickle Gulch from cholera back when Johnny did have his cows out here and they shit in Crittle Creek all the time. Seems people just can’t drink cowshit in their water anymore, I don’t know what this world is coming to. Anyways, Johnny moved the fence after that and Trickle Gulch always has folks passin’ through and maybe hangin their hat there. Cowpokes have been wandering from town to town along these ways for generations and other ranchers will let the cowpokes poke a few cows for a bag of flour or a bottle of whiskey, they always wanna wet their whistle after checking on the herds and maybe checking some cows for pokes if somethin’ don’t seem right. Some ranchers and cowpokes is friends. Long uninterrupted history of people using a shape that extends outward terminating in a reduced surface area to touch a large land mammal common to agricultural areas. Johnny wandered poking cows and doing odd jobs before he homesteaded out here. Being so close to the formerly sweet waters of Crittle Creek gave him one less thing to worry about as he cleared some timber so he could build a shelter and maybe sell lumber so he can own a few cattle to poke, cows all his own. He would just well keep to himself these days but he will be cordial if he rides into town for some medicine at the drug store that Dr. Jeels been prescribing to the tired folk who come in. People say that the Lord blessed Johnny with the voice of an angel that was so beautiful it would bring hardened men to tears when he was younger, but has not used this tremendous gift for years and ain’t interested in doing no more songs with sounds from his mouth.

[petrozunk]

Tuto pisen znam v podani Greenhorns pod nazvem Znackovaci zelezo

[robertorick]

Covered by Eddy Arnold for his "Cattle Call" album on RCA Victor issued in 1963. Johnny Western also appeared on many of Johnny Cash's early 1960's sessions, usually playing guitar.