What Boys Look For in Girls

We all want to be appreciated...but initial attraction isn't really based in reality. There's a really huge audience of very young women on YouTube, and I'm really worried about them basing their self-worth on whether they appeal to guys. That seems to be how the world is set up. I'm a dude, of course, so I'm basing this on what I've seen on YouTube and IRL, but I don't think I'm crazy.

I should have said in the video...this isn't meant to be relationship advice. There are lots of good people out there with whom to have relationships, but what they're "looking for" doesn't necessarily correspond with what they actually want or need. That "love at first sight" moment is pretty much the least interesting moment of a relationship (despite being one of the most exciting.)

The song at the end is Marilyn Hanson, which will be on my new album which is coming out...oh...less than a month from now? Exciting!

[ObsidianMadness]

GIRLS ARE NOT THE PHOTONS THAT HIT THE CORNEAS OF BOYS!!!
-Hank Green

[dennischiu]

"We're crazy, we don't make any sense."

-Hank Green, 2014

[alexjordan]

"How do boys look so hot without makeup?"
Because society hasn't told them they needed it yet...

[bur]

at the start i loved this video because of the strong sarcasm and then i loved it because of how right his opinions are and then i got kind freaked out/intrigued at how he moves his body & limbs so quickly. twas a wild ride.

[vlogbrothers]

We all want to be appreciated...but initial attraction isn't really based in reality. There's a really huge audience of very young women on YouTube, and I'm really worried about them basing their self-worth on whether they appeal to guys. That seems to be how the world is set up. I'm a dude, of course, so I'm basing this on what I've seen on YouTube and IRL, but I don't think I'm crazy.

I should have said in the video...this isn't meant to be relationship advice. There are lots of good people out there with whom to have relationships, but what they're "looking for" doesn't necessarily correspond with what they actually want or need. That "love at first sight" moment is pretty much the least interesting moment of a relationship (despite being one of the most exciting.)

What Boys Look For in Girls

[CharlotteAshlock]

"Whether or not someone wants to date you is based on.... complete randomness, and is thus a terrible thing to base your self-worth on."  Well said.

[haleykendall]

Totally read the title of this video as "What Books Look For in Girls" and if that doesn't explain my life, I don't know what does.

[meganl]

My earliest experience of being judged on my looks, was at about 6 or 7 years old when I asked my mother if I could cut my hair short and she said I could but I wasn't to come crying to her if boys didn't like me. I think what parents say to children at a young age is so important as it can affect them for the rest of their lives. The amount of times as a very young child 3 maybe 4 years old I heard my mother say something along the lines of " my thighs are soooo huge, my stomach is so big or my waist isn't small enough" affect me so much that at 9 years old I developed an eating disorder, to conform to my mothers idea of beauty or the perfect body. If there are any parents reading this, please, I beg of you to not say these things in ground of your children, it can affect them for the rest of their lives.

[AnnaAkana]

I laughed so hard when you started talking about other cultures and their definitions of beauty. So clever and cute. 

THANK YOU for putting out a good message for girls! I wish I had that when I was 14. Would've saved me a lot of heart ache and insecurity and annoyance :) 

[fefalim]

Hank, you're legitimately the best person on YouTube. You never fail to amaze me with your cleverness and sense of humor.

[annabethgrace]

I've been told (multiple times) the following statement: "You're so pretty, why don't you wear make-up?"
Does anyone else find this statement dumb and an oxymoron?
It's really annoying that other girls put this pressure on me (not men - GIRLS) to spend a ridiculous amount of time dolling myself up, because there's always the implicit "your way is wrong" attacking my self-esteem.

[bethjcrowley]

"In England men wear really tight pants for example, and I wish I could pull those pants off." Phrasing, Hank. Phrasing.

[CinziaDuBois]

A man needed to say this. And golly hank was the man to do it.

[bbbabrock]

I would be more convinced if you waved your arms just a bit more.

[venetiantemper]

GIRLS ARE NOT THE PHOTONS THAT HIT THE EYES OF BOYS. Quote of the day.

[RachelandJun]

Mimei is right~ It's not normal at all to get your teeth unstraightened in Japan. It's just not common TO straighten them. Insurance doesn't cover braces and they're very expensive, and other facial features (eyes, nose, face size) take priority over teeth when it comes to analyzing beauty. It doesn't detract from the message of the video at all because they do have different standards of beauty, but Mimei is right that this is something that sort of evolved in the Western media to seem much bigger than it really is.

A good example that Westerners might find strange would be "head/face size." East Asians in general have larger heads in proportion to their body than Westerners. The smaller your face in Japan, the better.
-Rachel

[sheskiwiw]

"you exist for your own sake" hit me hard

[MissDawnIsLDS]

I once told a friend that I was going on a date that evening. she immediately asked me "is he cute?" I thought about it, and responded, "not really, but he's not ugly" she was aghast at my frankness and asked me why I was going on a date with him if I didn't think he was cute. I don't like it people feel that I must decide about someone's looks before deciding about their personality and it mutual compatibility. I want to think my husband is very handsome, but I believe that once I have a husband, I will love how he looks because his face means all the things that I love about him. "and was Mr. Rochester then ugly in my eyes, reader? no, his was the face I most liked to see."

[BecCereal]

"You do not exist to please someone else, you exist for your own sake"
This hit me hard and I've realised I have to do things for myself not for someone to "accept me". I have to accept myself. Thank you Hank :)

[MichailShaposhnikov]

New t-shirt for DFTBA records: "Girls are not the photons that hit the corneas of boys!" Like so he can see. =D