Careful, one “mistake” and your worth is gone FOREVER! #mormon #lds #chastity #christianity

[cinnamonroll_ofdeath]

I wasn't Mormon, I was raised SDA but what they did at our church was they took a $100 bill and crumpled it up, spit on it and stomped on it and asked the boys who would want it. My brother stood up and said he would. Needless to say they were not happy their object lesson didn't work.

[kuromi]

the implications this has for rape victims are. uh. um...

[isaaci]

Damn they’re just worried about the cupcake being less enjoyable for the next man. What is the situation with the cupcake if a guy has multiple wives?

[TwistedRootsMelody]

Yet they say nothing to that one jerk at the party who licked all the cupcakes. Not his fault, they shouldn't have been so tempting.

[MarieJesne]

I KNOW they were not saying these things to the boys because the guy who "ruined my virtue" wouldn't even lick it! Wish he got that lesson too. He couldn't even make my sins worthwhile!

[Just-MACCHEESE]

They did the gum lesson in young women a few weeks ago. (I’m stuck in the church) girl offered me her gum she chewed. I ate that shit

[kassylee]

My lesson had something to do with a cup of water and putting dirt in it… so grateful I left. After I left my brother who served a mission came out to me then my parents and then my parents left a few years later 🎉

[jennenny]

I got the same gum analogy in a PUBLIC school "health class" in TX. 😤

[sarahpinho]

My mom gave me a white bracelet to remember this when I had a boyfriend.. in COLLEGE. I was a grown woman but my mom wanted to make sure I had no sex life. The guilt tactic worked for awhile but I ended up doing it, and she found out. Her reaction? She was angry we had used protection, bc that meant it was "premeditated".. um, okay. So getting pregnant is better? Wow. Thank God I'm raising my girls differently.

[WitchyWay...]

When i was a young woman who'd been SA'd as a child, this absolutely destroyed me when it was taught. It's disgusting to put that on anyone. It's one of the huge reasons I refused to raise my own daughter in the church.

[sarahpinho]

It really dehumanizes women. Think of the news, when you hear of a prostitute getting murdered, it doesn't make a lot of people worried (just an example, I'm not endorsing prostitution). But if it's a woman in general, especially a caucasian one, people react much differently. I do the same thing, because it's conditioned. I also often see people blaming the woman who gets raped and or murdered who's in a bad relationship, because it must be her fault.. but it usually doesn't happen until she tries to leave. Talking about women like objects just keeps perpetuating this idea that they're dirty or unworthy.. it's so damaging.

[allie]

People did this in regular Christian church as well. Gift already opened kind if thing... basically made all the Christian girls I knew feel completely worthless after they lost their virginity and then they all became pretty promiscuous because they had low self worth ... because of these lessons. I'm glad most Christian churches I've heard of now have moved past that toxic purity culture.
Purity is a good thing, but telling little girls they're worthless and unwanted if they make one particular mistake? Not very Christ like.

[juliejanesmith]

And only the women get taught this kind of demeaning, misogynistic, controlling crap. The men are taught to wait for marriage, but not in a way that ties their entire self worth to their “virginity” and compares them to a piece of GUM.

Also, I grew up evangelical with the same message. I was also SA’ed as a child. These messages messed me up SO BAD. I believed I was “ruined” and not worthy of love, and that left me completely vulnerable to a lot of men who would mistreat me and use me as I got older. I’m 40, got married to a WONDERFUL man at 25. But I couldn’t even fully internalize and really feel that live he had for me because I had been mistreated by a lot of men by then, and still saw myself as worthless. Despite being atheist since I was 17, only in the last 5 years has that sh!t messaging I got starting at 11 YEARS OLD finally begun to wear off.

[bewitched]

Nobody addresses the man whose tongue licked those cupcakes.

[CottageContessa]

YUP. I can attest. Being raised in the LDS church, I got this lesson so many times as a young woman at church. It did a lot of damage for my sex life once I got married. Even after 10 years of marriage, I’m still unlearning the disgust and shame I learned to have for my body and sex as a youth.

[niccooper]

Gotta love being compared to inanimate objects. Ugh.

[spockspock]

My fave was a Sunday school lesson where the recently returned missionary took a cardboard cylinder, put flour and a lit candle in it, hooked up a bicycle air pump, one pump on the air pump and we were all knocked flat and the windows blew out from the explosion. Something about the power of the priesthood.. 😂 lesson learned. Priesthood = dumbassery.

[katiejude]

I could never get any of these adults to explain to me how if the cupcake got licked after it was married, how that didnt also ruin the cupcake.

[kimberlydavis]

I remember them holding up a white piece of paper and saying that your virtue was like the white of the paper, pure and unmarked. Then they drew a small black dot on the paper and said that mark was giving up your virtue. Even though most of the paper was white, all everyone could see was the black dot. One black dot ruins all the white.

[Krazy-creations]

Ex Moonie here, and I remember during service one time, the cult youth leaders got together to teach this lesson. And the leaders all actually chewed the same piece of gum, it was completely unsanitary looking back. But they really stuck in my head and now 11 years I’m still a”fresh un-licked cupcake” and scared to lose it. Even though I truly believe that I’m with the love of my life. I learned it at 12/13 years old and it’s still with me at 10/11 years later. Teaching this to young girls who are starting to go through puberty is messed up! Glad I’m out, but the un-brainwashing process is hard, especially going against something you’ve believed to true for so long from such a young age!