I Married A Much Older Man. Here's How We Do Money | Making it Work

Through weekly video essays, "Making It Work" showcases how *real* people have made their lives work for them in a meaningful way. Making your life work for you doesn't mean getting rich just for the sake of it. It means making the most of what you have to build a life you love, both in your present and in your future. And while managing money is a crucial life skill for everyone, there's no one "right way" to go about it — you have to figure out what works best for *you,* full stop.

Video by Grace Lee

Based on an essay by Bree Rody-Mantha

Read the original essay here:

Video narration by Katherine Billings

The Financial Diet site:

[NeedMoreCoffeeOG]

1. If both parties are over 25, I don't see the point in judging. Both your brain and physical growth is fully peaked. Go nuts.
2. I don't think a lot of these are by default age related. You can simply marry someone who is wealthier or more successful.

[elinor]

My dream is to marry a woman much richer than me so I can focus on my health and knitting.

[mary-annz.reynolds]

I like that you address different types of situations. It's important to see different lifestyles to understand money.

[JLL]

My takeaway: I’m not convinced 16 years is “nearly 2 decades”.

[spacecavy]

Thank you for sharing this! People tend to talk about age gap relationships as gold digging or a fling, but I've never heard anyone talk about the simple financial realities of a healthy age gap relationship. I married a man 14 years older than me at 20. Seven years later, I'm still shocked at all the little fiscal realities no one talks about. When we married, the only credit I had was bad credit from a few unpaid medical bills. My husband was far from wealthy but he was financially smart and had amazing credit. I was terrified I'd ruin his credit but I just bought my first car and turns out just being married to him and having a joint credit card made my credit as good as his. His parents were also much older than mine, which put me in the surprising position of helping be a caretaker to his aged and ill father. His father recently died without a will and my husband and I are scrambling to clean the vermin-infested house, deal with his possessions, and learn words like "intestate" and "probate". At the end of this mess, my husband will likely inherit enough money for us to buy a small house outright. He feels like failure for not having a house at 41. I'm probably going to be a homeowner before I hit 30.

[siljeborgan]

Please do a financial situation for disabled people in your country.

[MattSezer]

I never really understood people who get married, but want to maintain completely separate finances. In my mind, marriage means your finances are the same as your partners for all major things.

[AC-qooq]

My husband is about to turn 45 and I’m 30. People always think he’s 10 years younger than his actual age. We’ve been together for 7 years, and I’m better with money than he is (but he’s getting much better). We don’t get the mean comments because people don’t think he’s that old, but if they had not seen him in person, they’ll assume I’m a gold digger, which is far from the truth 🤣 He’s so calm, patient and caring. No guy my age treated me this way and interested me. Plus, he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever met.

[ameliaryczek]

I would love to hear from someone whose approach to marital finances is 100% shared. I feel like most younger people talk about theirs and their spouse's finances as separate things when, legally, you are one financial entity. For example, what she says in the video about him offering to pay for things. It's not actually his, it's both of yours. I think it would be interesting to hear how those things are managed, how you go about merging assets, etc.

[everythingisaprogram]

I had almost the same age gap with my ex-boyfriend. I don't think he understood millennial financial challenges. He ran into some money trouble when a job let him go. It affected his self-esteem to be the provider, and it's a big reason why we broke up. I tried to help him emotionally, because if millennials know one thing it's how to be frugal.

He has a beautiful home, but he lives beyond his means and isn't very flexible when it comes to his standard of living. I think he felt added pressure from his friends. He taught me some financial things, but I wish he were more open to what I could teach him because of my experiences. I've never had the opportunities he had at my age in the same industry, so I've never been able to spend as much as he does.

[victoriat.similien]

This is funny... my husband is 12 years older than me but I am more financially responsible than he is and feel like I need to spell everything half the time when it comes to money

[Y_Canada]

As a Torontonian, I feel the pain about not buying a property here a long time ago. This lady's husband could have bought a house for $100k 20 years ago, made a few renovations, and that property would have cost around $1 million by now. But what's done is done, there's no need to dwell on the past. I think this couple is very nice and mature. I wish them all the very best!

[mikegb]

3:45 "..you can bounce back through discipline and eliminating bad influences." Yes! Bad influences are the path of financial destruction.

[unleashingpotential-psycho]

Being financially responsible is critical for doing well in life. 🔥

[cloudwalker]

Love this. This is my exact situation almost the tee. Happy to see true diversity of experience on this channel

[be]

Very enjoyable, and interesting commentary. I really loved all the clip art used. It also reminds me of a saying my Aunt use to say, 'better to be a old man's darling, than a young man's slave'. She grew up in a different era of course. Interesting comments below. Funny how we either don't know history or have forgotten it. People forget that women once couldn't get their own credit; they had to have their husband co-sign. Also that you can marry one person, who turns into someone you don't know or expect - so there are very good reasons for women to establish, and keep, their own financial identity.

[bmccuan]

This video has a lot of good, especially being more open about money and the widsom that comes with age.

One of the things that is wonderful about dating my older boyfriend is that he doesn't have qualms about discussing money and is helpful when I have questions about financial situations that I just haven't encountered or conquered yet (i.e. saving, investing, mortgages, car buying, etc.).

[mgsanz]

Sooo true! My husband is 8 years older than me, but has a great deal of experience to share with me, especially when it comes to money. He's happy to answer my questions about savings, investment and financial matters, and I'm becoming more interested in the topic. Plus he works at the financial sector, so it's like taking an MA in Finance! Just one of the collateral benefits of being married to such a wonderful man!

[JazzymineA]

Age does not determine greater financial literacy. Can we get rid of the assumption that it does?

[laurrelei]

Oh my god please do a video of dealing with money when income varies in a relationship (like when one earns 2 and 3 times what the other makes)