Realities of Life With A Narcissist | Therapy & Theology

In this episode, Lysa TerKeurst; Licensed Professional Counselor Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries' Director of Theological Research, Dr. Joel Muddamalle, discuss how to have a confrontational conversation with a narcissist — without being too confrontational. As a reminder, these episodes are not to victimize a person who struggles with narcissism but rather to shed light on this very real but often overlooked topic in the Christian world.

Narcissism is a personality disorder that requires a medical diagnosis. Proverbs 31 Ministries does not condone labeling another person with a personality disorder. Please see the links below if you need help finding a Christian counselor.

Helpful links from Lysa TerKeurst and the Proverbs 31 Team:

- Proverbs 31 Ministries reaches women in the middle of their busy days through free devotions; podcasts; speaking events; conferences; resources; Online Bible Studies; and training in the call to write, speak and lead others. Learn more by visiting our website!
Share your story with our team! We’d love to hear how the Proverbs 31 Ministries YouTube channel has impacted you.

For further reading on narcissism, Lysa and Jim recommend “The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists” and “The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection.” Please note, these are not biblically based books but would be helpful if you’re struggling to cope with a narcissist.

[loveheals]

I have to separate from my husband for my emotional health, 17 years of this. 😭 God give me strength and open the door ❤️ Amen

[carmendotson]

It is so good to see a Christian address this issue, very encouraging.

[Sundara]

A relationship with God is recieving love, joy, peace. He loves us, he cares for us. A narcissist only loves himself.

[trissyriggs]

I wish you guys were around 24 years ago when I had no idea what was going on with my husband and why he did what he did.
But God did see me through as I clung to His Word and now I am truly free🙌🏻🕊
I pray for those that are struggling now with this same dilemma especially after investing time money and children for years.
It is abuse and Jesus has set us free🙌🏻🕊

[natalieohlsson]

God is not narcissistic!!! He is holy and pure and all good. He is love.

[elainesmith]

Thank you so much! I was married to a Covert Narcissist for 45 yrs. And lived in a family narcissist system all thst time also. He was a serial adultor and had an addiction to Porn, contracted HPV, Which developed
into Throat Cancer. He died in 2022. The teams I suffered after his death was so damaging that I felt I would never recover. The emotional abuse was horiffic. It has taken me almost 2 yrs in therapy to put my life back together. But thanks be to God who I never let go of has kept me and sustained me through it all. I have since moved away from his family narc system and made a new start. Thank you again! Blessings to all who have suffered from narcissist abuse and YES God can heal you!!
Healing in Sky's and New Dreams!! Thanks Lisa!!!

[Emily-Diamond]

Thank you SO much for shining light on this issue. Being married to a narcissist is the HARDEST thing I have ever done.

[Meggiebeth]

Excellent series. Having had a couple bad experiences w/narcissists I have learned I cannot have these persons in my life. No respecter of boundaries- grant them an inch they want a mile. Draining. It really feels like a vampire like experience- the draining both physically & mentally.

[EmpoweredLivingwithLori]

The safest, healthiest thing to do is get away if you suspect this -- the sooner the better -- because the longer you are in a relationship with someone with these tendencies, if you have children with them, the HARDER it is -- almost impossible -- trauma bonding takes place and you feel stuck because your self esteem, self confidence, worthiness and value has been destroyed.

[EmpoweredLivingwithLori]

Mirroring back to God what He says is mirroring truth and love. Plus God does not gaslight us, abuse us or mistreat us. God gives us freedom and choice.

[Daughterofthehighestking]

Thank you so much for addressing this topic I was with my ex-husband for five years who is a narcissist. It was hell! He was never truthful when being diagnosed by professionals, so he hasn’t had a true diagnosis and he knows that. It’s one of the things he likes to say that he’s never been diagnosed. He has paranoid personality disorder, and some other stuff but it was all directed towards me. I have been in recovery from codependency for five years now and I’m still growing and learning by the grace of God he took me out of that Egypt. In 2018, I was saved by Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, my ex is very good at manipulating people even people that have been walking with the Lord for a really long time so now he’s being raised up as a pastor at a new church. Even the churches that we were at before either didn’t know how to come alongside us or me, or he didn’t want to stay because they were addressing the problem and he didn’t want people to know. It was literal hell, but Jesus is walking me through all that PTSD I had with my ex. 🙏🏼✝️🙌🏼💜

[deedeebrinkman]

Thank you God for this explanation!!! I am NOT crazy!!!! I feel free---thank you so much for talking about this. This is not a topic you can just ask people about.

[Me-xnkx]

Was married to one for 25 years. I relate to losing yourself or your identity. Thank you for bringing attention to this because people need to watch out for them.

[apgx]

Love that answer “you could be right”. In a fit of rage, and while going round the kitchen like a boxer in a ring, my estranged narcissistic husband moved from calling me a controller and manipulator to accusing me of having a Jezebel spirit and how I needed to go and get deliverance. So quietly I just said OK, if come with me I’ll go. Strangely that was never mentioned again.

[somethinggood]

I have been sober for a few years and I now realize every time I spend time with a narcissist I want to drink. Because you feel like you're suffocating

[rambo]

Beautiful! Thank you on behalf of everyone struggling with a narcissistic situation!

[abbasjoy]

I tell you, it is draining... It takes energy, but i had to end contact with that person.

[thomaspeterson]

Sometimes the one you need to trust and get help from is the best divorce lawyer you can afford.

[deborahburdzy]

Joel...when you spoke about the hope in Jesus to bring healing and create a new heart, quite apart from any particular or specific issue (narcissism or any other issues we may face) I could feel the hope and peace and relief that is a reality because of Jesus. I can't explain except to say -- the Holy Spirit spoke through you giving me hope and joy and comfort in dealing with life in general. We need to constantly be being drawn back to the source of all life and abundance and healing...God, our healer of all things, Jesus!

[CamiDiscerns]

This man KNOWS his stuff. Pure Wisdom.