15 + PHRASES to *AVOID* per parents of NICU babies!!!

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Thank you SO much to the Physician Moms For Preemies group on Facebook who took the time and effort to answer questions, openly, kindly, and with the intention of educating us all.

Again - a caveat- this is a specific group of mothers (educational group, mothers of premature babies etc.), so please let us know what else you would add to this list!!!
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Dr. Tala is a board-certified neonatologist and has worked in busy level III and IV units for the past 15 years. She has won multiple teaching awards throughout her time as a neonatologist.
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*Disclaimer*: This video is intended for educational purposes only and while we strive to give the most accurate information, errors may occur. Subsequently, this video should not be a replacement for medical advice.

[carmengalindo]

Wow! This was eye opening. Some of those phrases seem so innocent, but I guess after hearing them over and over again it can be grating. The only one I have a problem with is “who are you?” We can maybe phrase it nicely, but at the end of the day just like I’m expected to introduce myself bc there are so many healthcare workers around, there are a lot of visitors in the unit, and maybe I haven’t taken care of your baby before. I just think that we should give each other some grace.

[sydneyharris]

I hate hearing other staff use “I’m the black cloud” or “my luck” in front off families! Definitely something we all use in medics field but it makes me cringe at the wrong time!

[susanwoods]

The " Whimpy White Boy Syndrome" Is thankfully not used in Australia. But some of those terms I am guilty of saying for sure !! thanks so much for this :)

[samualloy]

NICU Resident here, also had a 24+2, 650g girl in October. 5 month stay complicated by perf. NEC, BPD, ROP, lots of sepsis. The works other than severe IVH. My bub is now nearly 4 months corrected and exclusively breast fed, weaning low flow and a mild gross motor delay but she's a proper NICU miracle. She was put through the winger. I can attest to lots of these phrases. (both hearing them as a parent and saying them as a Dr!). It's very difficult to know how things will be received. I have a pretty dry (and quite dark) sense of humour and was raised in a laugh or cry kind of household. Being told my girl was a real trouble maker overnight or "not well behaved" was totally fine with me where as others might find that jarring. For my partner and I, by far the most important factor with communication in NICU came down to simply being calm, gentle and empathetic. It's hard when the unit is busy, there's expects, and healthcare workers are human too but the only times I really felt upset with the communication is when it felt rushed or I felt I was being a nuisance.

[missyrinehart]

I hear the phrase “FLK” (funny looking kid) every once in awhile. While it is said away from parents I feel it’s insensitive and judgmental.

[joemygawd]

Does this mean I should refrain from using “it’s the nurse curse”?

[kellyarnette]

Excellent advice for everyone who takes care of babies.

[docvaruna]

I am seeing a mother rather than a neonatologist. ❤. Blessed mother and nicu graduates under your care.

[MorganGuillory-ye]

Wow this couldn’t be more accurate! Thank you for bringing light and validating us NICU parents! We, in fact, do not have Wimpy White Boys!

[medweb]

It underscores our ability to practice empathy, to view the perspective of the parents despite having seen their experience many times over. For them it’s most likely their first time in the NICU.