Getting real about my holiday sadness & stress this year...

I wanted to make a video to talk through what's going on in my life right now. As many of you know, there have been many highs and lows this past year, and they're making the holidays more challenging than normal - feeling more sadness and stress than typical holiday seasons. When I was a practicing therapist, I often got asked about depression flare ups or feeling very depressed or overly sad during the holidays or at Christmas time or for New Year's Eve - and I want you to know that this holiday stress, depression and sadness is normal - and it may be especially high. This type of depression and sadness may come at any important times like even your birthday. So if you're asking yourself why am I sad or depressed all of the time or during your birthday or the holidays, I hope you will find that you are not alone by watching this video - and perhaps some depression tips and tricks that may help develop coping techniques during not just during the holidays or January depression, but whenever these things flair up.

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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[liza]

Thanks so much for this video Kati. For the first time in my life I’ll be spending the holidays alone because of a breakup and family estrangement 😢 I’ll do my best to take care of my basic needs. The only thing that helps me is knowing that the holidays will be over soon and then it’ll be a new year.

[SLKALIN]

To everyone else in the comments going through a hard time during the holidays, I see you and I'm sending love, support and healing vibes your way. ❤💚

[peacekeeper]

I had my little meltdown today in a parking lot just missing loved ones who have passed. No panic or anxiety just sadness. It passed after I allowed myself to feel those feelings. Thanks for all you do.

[karnifexmaximus]

I never would have thought I would become someone who hates the holidays. My family fell apart in 2019. This time of year will never be the same again. I hate it.

[call_in_sick]

I’ve stayed home. No alcohol. No parties. Quiet and reflective. Without much cost. And without any chaotic meltdowns or high emotions. I’ve actually had the most stress free Christmas I’ve had in a while. It was down to the choices I made for myself and holding those boundaries.

[Jules-zgip]

This really hits home with me. So much stress in my life for a variety of reasons...grief, political/religious family fractures, caring for an aging parent who I love deeply - but without sibling help, the expense of everything...I get to the point where I just want the holidays over with. Sometimes it feels like I have been run over by a bus but still need to be functioning at full capacity. The guilt (and missing the way things were) can be quite overwhelming this time of year.

[debranicholson]

My mother passed in July..I had lived with and cared for her 24/7 for twelve years as she progressed with dementia. Needless to say this holiday is difficult. Everything provokes a memory and even though that is wonderful it is exhausting. I can relate to now having stepped into the elder role. That in itself is a not so subtle reminder of our own mortality.

[cfjohnson]

I don't have any friends with Kati's kindness and awareness. I feel that she would be the person who would never sugar-coat problems, but always remind me that I am not alone. Thank you for this video.

[jasonbrown]

I think we overestimate how meaningful the "perfect" gift will be, vs a "normal, reasonably thoughtful" gift. Showing up is the most important part.

[NashvilleSenorita]

Thank you for being so real and reminding us that we aren’t alone ❤

[kimberlyd]

Yep this struck a nerve with me. I always feel like issues really come to the surface this time of year. Learning to not let it all get to me is challenging but I’m getting better every year and you are a part of it . 🤗 thank you!

[ChrisDoyle]

Mom died at Thanksgiving seven years ago. Dad died of COVID last year, Oct. Mom was the glue holding her five kids’ families together. I only talk to two of my sisters now. Needless to say, the holidays—these fabricated events in time we’ve attached all this meaning to—are no reason to celebrate for me. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in keeping it real. Hope yours are cause for celebration.

[terridillon]

We don’t have to be perfect.
We don’t have to people please.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas 🎄

[rhondajohnson]

This is real talk, right here. My dad passed away summer of '21 and it's hardest around this time of year. And that changing of the guard is a powerful statement regarding the circle of life is powerful. Thank you for all you do, Katie

[basic]

The Best Gifts come from the heart so it is not about the commercialism... think about what they need... do they need help with washing their car, walking their dog, cleaning up something at home, or giving them gift certificates for manicures, massages, or haircuts. Baking is another wonderful think (my son does that) or making up special pictures and creatively decorating the frame... old pictures that can be revamped... those types of things can help with cost and also help with taking the emphasis off the commercialism of the whole thing. It is not about the price tag. It is about the thought. ❤❤❤

[karines]

Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable.
I cried yesterday as I haven't cried for a long time. I realized that for me, these specific holidays are a reminder of all the moments of grief I have had ok my life. Grief for childhood, youth, and innocence. Grief for the security that gave my parents as a child, grief for the ones that are gone, and grief for expectations not met.
Such a hard time.

[JackieChong]

This really touched me. Days are always going to pass. We have to look on the bright side. Think. Money is just a part of our life. Health is the most important. Although for various reasons, my life is very stressful and can be overwhelming. Everything will be fine. Be happy. Everyone must cheer up oh.

[angieh]

This year includes family members who have passed, no significant other, and the fact that my mom is now in assisted living (due to dementia) and I’ll soon be selling the home I grew up in. 😢 And also a fractured sibling relationship. I keep thinking “how is this my life??” I have never felt so alone. It’s terrifying.

[FriendlyNeighborhoodUnclePete]

I love what you said about boundaries. Two days ago my mother was yelling at me over the phone, that it was my fault she was not happy. I don’t call her enough, so she says that’s why she’s not happy. I don’t call to set boundaries since every time I speak to them it’s bad news. They crap on me being happy. As if I don’t deserve to be happy if they’re not. I’m done with it. I have to cut them off for my mental health. I’m not buying into their manipulation. I have nothing to do with their enjoyment in life. I can go on for hours, so I’ll stop now and say if you’re reading this, you’re all kinds of awesome and beautiful. Happy Holidays!

[annasicard]

Thank you for posting this. I thought I was the only one stressing about how prices have increased on everything the past year. I was also pregnant this time last year and a few months later I lost the baby, so I have been reflecting on that the past week and it has brought me down. I really needed this.