What to do if your doctor flirts with you

#flirting #doctor #patientcare

Have you ever felt uncomfortable with a professional flirting with you? Learn from my experience to best protect and advocate for yourself!

0:00 – Introduction
0:25 – American Medical Association perspective on relationships
0:44 – How often do doctors hit on patients?
1:19 – My experience being flirted with
2:18 – How patients might be flirted with
2:26 – The infamous doctor who married two of his patients
3:47 – 5 tips to deal with flirting
3:55 – Number 1: chaperone
4:07 – Number 2: mask
4:23 – Number 3: pen and paper
4:44 – Number 4: what to say
5:14 – Number 5: what to wear
5:46 - Bonus number 6: Hugs
6:22 – When patients flirt with doctors…

Have you ever experienced a doctor crossing the line from professional to personal? It's an uncomfortable truth, but it happens more often than we'd like to think. A small percentage of doctors engage in inappropriate behavior with patients, blurring the lines of the doctor-patient relationship.

In this video, I share my personal experience of facing unwanted advances from a physician during my medical training. It was an eye-opening experience that highlighted the power dynamics at play and the difficulty of speaking up when you feel vulnerable.
We'll discuss:

• The disturbing statistics on doctor-patient sexual misconduct: You might be surprised to learn just how prevalent this issue is. 🤯
• Why certain specialties are more prone to this problem: We'll explore why psychiatry, family medicine, and OBGYN have higher rates of misconduct.
• The challenges of speaking up: Why it's so hard to confront a doctor who is in a position of authority.
• 5 practical tips to protect yourself: Learn how to set boundaries, document interactions, and minimize vulnerability during physical exams. These strategies include asking for a chaperone, wearing a mask, and bringing a pen and paper to take notes.
• How to minimize vulnerability during physical exams: Practical advice on how to feel safer during examinations.

This video is for anyone who has ever felt uncomfortable, unsafe, or violated in a medical setting. You are not alone, and you deserve to feel respected and protected by your healthcare providers.

Join the conversation:
• Have you experienced similar situations? Share your story in the comments below.
• What other strategies have you found helpful in setting boundaries with healthcare providers?
• Are you interested in learning about the flip side - when patients make advances towards doctors? Let me know!

References:

This video/speech/channel DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL ADVICE. Patients with medical concerns should contact their physician. If your concern is an emergency, immediately call 911. This information is not a recommendation for ANY THERAPY. Some substances referenced in this content may be illegal, and this content is not a recommendation for, or endorsement of, their use in any way.

[animallvr]

My eye doctor hit on my when I was 17, he was in his forties. He actually called my home and asked me on a date, then held my vision prescription hostage until I agreed to meet with him. I placed a report against him and was told I was in a long line of girls to have done the same. They also told me that he was required by law to give me my prescription. It was confusing and creepy time for me, but I felt empowered by at least making a report. This was in the late 70's.

[soapychica]

It happens more often than you think. I’ve experienced it 3 times. When I reported it they didn’t believe me. Thank you for speaking on this subject. ❤

[debrjackson]

When my little one was being wheeled in for surgery, she was almost knocked out, but right before she told the very handsome Australian surgeon, how much she loved him. She was about 5, and the wonderful surgeon held her hand and told her he loved her too.
He wasn't a perv. Just the kindest dr. I'd ever seen.

[alexandrajones]

Choose your psychiatrist carefully. Enough said.

[julier.]

If you have had a doctor or nurse do something inappropriate, what do you think of announcing it in the waiting room as you leave? I'm an older woman who doesn't want to put up with stuff like that (and I'm frumpy and overweight so I don't think anyone would hit on me), so there's a chance I would speak up. I heard a story this summer of a married couple who were both sick with a cough or similar respiratory illness and went to see the same doctor. Hubby went first, then the wife. The nurse told her to undress and put on the paper gown, which was puzzling. The doctor comes in and checks her over and does a breast exam too. When she gets out in the waiting room she asked her husband if he had to take his clothes off, and he said no. Cue her becoming livid. When she saw the doctor at the front counter, she yelled at him and called him out on that and said his face got very red. That might do as much or more than trying to get him in trouble with the medical board or something. This kind of thing is just a very sore point with me.

[SRPA]

You know, I was watching this for a good 5 minutes before I remembered my dentist commented on my physical maturity, molested me with a nurse present in the room, and then started giving me dirty phonecalls. I was 13! The saddest part is that I loved the male validation. I do wonder how many girls he's messed up.

[novaaa]

I’m a physician myself and I’ve indirectly been hit on by other doctors when i visit their clinics for some health issues ( despite having a family member with me)it’s so disgusting and overwhelming.

[kimmajczan]

When I was a youngish nurse and pregnant working in the OR there was a urologist who used to periodically come up behind me before he scrubbed in and put his hands on my uterus over my scrubs and feel for the fundal height. I spoke to the head nurse and she told me to ignore it, there was nothing she could do. Remember it vividly to this day.

[joannek]

Thanks for bringing this issue to video. It is a problem.

[crpsdiaries]

I've had a specialist take me into a private room and thought that he was examining me further. His PA walked in & he jumped back from me. That's when I realized he was going up my shirt for other reasons. I was in such shock & disbelief.
A year or so down the road, I reported it to the College of Physicians (In Canada). The burden of proof would have been on me & it would have been a long drawn out traumatic process for me, only to maybe have him watched if I could prove it at all.
We also have Dr.'s up here who have been charged with not only sexually abusing their patients but also being incredibly cruel to them. They still have their licenses & are still practicing. The way I see it, is that they should be in jail.
There's almost no justice.
Sorry it happened to you too.
Years ago, I also had a chiropractor being very inappropriate. I wish I would have spoken up, but again I was in shock & frozen. His wife was even the receptionist there at the time. There needs to be more accountability & consequences to actions. Patients need to be believed.

[iced.autumn]

Didn't happen to me, but my sister. After she took her daughter to the ER, the male nurse later found her on facebook and sent her a message asking how her daughter was doing. One thing led to another and they ended up dating (he was more than 15 years her senior) and having a child together! He ended up being an awful person and they are no longer together. I remember telling her back then that him contacting her like that wasn't right and was very unprofessional. She didn't listen of course. We later found out he had gotten with other women this same way and he had also been let go from multiple hospitals. I guess now he is becoming a doctor and the thought of that is terrifying! He seemed to prey on younger, vulnerable women with substance issues and I'd be willing to bet that he is still doing it today :(

[ALaughaday]

At my first followup after having a 12 brain surgery to remove a tumor, I asked my surgeon if I could give him a hug--to express my gratefulness for his work and the outcome. It was nothing sexual--just thankfulness--because words could not express how I felt knowing that tumor was out of my head and my facial nerve was still in tact.

[JJ-zvfq]

😢😢😢Went for a consultation for a colonoscopy, the Dr. told me he will be the only one doing the procedure therefore only he will see my behind, then he proceeded to try to kiss me on the lips, I turned my head, he kissed my cheek! Needless to say, I canceled my appointment with him after I slapped him and ran out!😮

[JoanOfArgghh]

Here in Mexico, I wear a comfy, oversized "exam tank top" under my blouse, or wear a long skirt for ob-gyn exams, stretch waisted pants if I know I'm getting a shot in bum. Mexican medicine is usually very affirming of personal dignity in the exam room, and has been for years. Not having paper gowns keeps costs down for them and keeps dignity for the patient, as much as possible.

[cavgrey]

I’ve been SA’d by a surgeon. Hard pass now if anything is less than professional. Didn’t have any flags before this occurrence.

[PureLight]

Very real, mine called me and asked me to lay down with himm because he thought it would be good for both of . I reported him to his board, investigation ensued. I had a voice mail apology also…. They found he did that and other verbal inappropriate sexual words. They warned him in a letter, I was told, that I didn’t get to see. They didn’t fore him because we need doctors here!!!! Damn. I had a a lot of fractures in my spine and had no pcp to help me! It took 6 months to get into a new one, and they have zero time. Rural Oklahoma here. Healthcare is broken. No one in authority cares or understands how this affected me.

[lizziebjl]

Ugh, I had that happen twice. First was a therapist! He would put his hand on my knee, talk about personal things and then eventually called me & asked me out.
Second was a physiotherapist. I was 8 months pregnant. He asked me to face him with my blouse off and proceeded to tell me how beautiful pregnant women are.
I was raised very strict and not to question authority. I think that’s why even though uncomfortable, I didn’t speak up.
I’m 66 now and these scenarios still bother me. 😢

[DovieRuthAuthor]

Sometimes you just have to switch doctors. My on/gyn asked me to go on an overnight boat ride to Catalina. I knew his wife socially. Needless to say, his marriage didn’t last. He blew through two more marriages.

[maggiesmith]

An important topic. I worked with a doctor that was head of a residency program that was sexually assaulting female residents. He did it one time in front of me. He was later reported to BOMEX and fired. He is a predator and not even an adequate physician but a Yale grad. He now holds an appointed position making decisions for the healthcare policy for the state. My best friend with PTSD had her life ruined after an assault by a physician. Betrayal of trust happened on a bigger scale the last few years. That former rheumatologist and administrator that hadn't seen a patient in years we all know that guy is a Saint. MD stands for minor deity.

[dianabrown]

I've had three uncomfortable situations with doctors, and I never went back. I was shocked each time. Wow!