The Two Main Forms of Narcissism Explained | Keith Campbell

This is a clip from yesterday's podcast release with Keith Campbell. In it, he and Dr. Peterson break down the two main forms of narcissism and the axis by which they can be measured.

// COURSES //

// BOOKS //

#JordanPeterson #JordanBPeterson #DrJordanPeterson #DrJordanBPeterson #DailyWirePlus

[jillbaerg]

I grew up in a narcissistic home. My mother is the narcissist. My dad is the enabler. It was awful. The emotional, mental abuse for 37 years. Physical abuse when I was a child. I wasn't allowed to have think for myself, I couldn't have a favorite color, book, song, outfit, hairstyle, ect. I wasn't allowed to have feelings. If I cried, I would be told "quit feeling sorry for yourself" If I was happy, " what do you have to be happy about". Nothing was okay. It kills you inside. I really felt dead inside. I was the scapegoat in my family. Everything I did was my fault. My mom blamed me for everything that went wrong in her life and my sisters lives. I had to cut off my family. I am thankful that I did. I am thankful Lord God saved me! That I have a heavenly Father that loves me, even when my mom and dad hate me.

[cindymay]

Narcissistic people will treat strangers like gold but then treat those closest to them like crap

[melvaughn]

Dr. Ramani is the best at giving specific examples and even imitating their speech and how they talk and rationalize. That’s how I put two and two together that my Dad was a full narcissist

[AM-whtf]

After almost 40 years of indirect abuse, I was just diagnosed with being the scapegoat of a narcissistic family. When I researched it, my jaw dropped. I went through every single thing noted- including denying past situations. It’s an incredibly sick family and I’m now happy to have cut myself off from it.

[trishawilliams]

Got out of an 8-year relationship with a narcissist after he was officially diagnosed. Had no idea what his diagnosis meant at first because I had no understanding of how narcissists use people. I thought narcissism just meant being pompous. I didn’t realize how much I had been wrecked by that human until I was out of it and learned about how they operate. Information on narcissism is crucially important this day and age. Knowing the signs of NPD can save so many people from heartache and from losing themselves.

[russellwalker]

My wife has lost her brother to his narcissistic wife and it has put so much pressure on the family and they've basically had to mourn the loss. Shes systematically turned him against everyone. She's what this video described as a vulnerable narcissist and it's incredibly destructive.

We all hope one day he'll wake up and realise how she has manipulated him and poisoned the family with her victim mentality.

Narcissist's are, in my opnion, far worse than a lot of other personality issues. And it seems this current state of the world is producing more and more

[bwb]

My father was my narcissistic abuser, my mom his enabler.
He runs a “church” /cult in a small town where I grew up. From when I left home until later in my adulthood, I healed and recovered, set boundaries around them and their cult members, and live in that truth today.

[jdbm]

Ive heard the words" everything would turn to shit if i wasn't here" after 3 months of her working away. My son and i had the best times of our life. School, dinner together, some tv, bed at normal time, wake him up, school on time. Footy at weekends. Y'know like a normal person

[Milestonemonger]

Reading the comments from other survivors of narcissistic abuse is somehow very therapeutics. Thank you all for sharing 🙏 ❤️

[mathewsilva]

Have Taken Dr. Campbell’s Intro to Psych course on Peterson Academy and he is a great teacher! First time seeing him out of that setting and feel like I’m watching my professor from college, Very surreal what they have been able to achieve with the online courses. Am proud to consider my self a student of his!

[petitsacados]

Having dealt with a parent who i highly suspect as being a vulnerable narcissist, it's sneaky. Everytime they do something wrong and are confronted, they have a dozen reasons on hand why they're the victim (ex: my childhood was this or my own parent did that). Though after the hundreth time going thru that routine, you finally start seeing it as the deflection it is. A smoke screen to hide that they dont care they hurt you; they're the only one to ever experience hurt; you, the actual victim, have no right to your emotions. The vulnerable narcissist gets to feel sad, not you.

[johnheart]

What a perfect and poetic definition. A prisoner of creature of whim. Yes: You can't be selfish when you have no self.

[AFringedGentianToEnnien]

These two types are well-illustrated in C. S. Lewis’ “The Great Divorce, ” which I just finished and highly recommend!

[christy]

Understanding what narcissism is is half the battle. Implementation of the tools to fight against narcissism is the other half. Thank God He revealed this personality defect in the last few years.

[marner]

Since my divorce I learned of vulnerable narcissists. And she fits it to a tee. And I with my high empathy was a perfect victim to her tendencies. It doesn’t bother me when people blow up at me because I know they have the problem and I understand that they are mad because they are hurting. But this was the window through which I allowed her to treat me ever and ever more poorly. Throughout our 8 yr relationship and marriage, I hear the words ‘sorry’ from her a total of once. And that was because someone was mediating an argument for us. She could not avoid it.

It was a learning experience for me. She would win arguments just with nuclear weapons—never with truth. And I refused to go that far, yet she never broke my spirit. And this is why our relationship could not work in the end. She really needed someone who folds completely to get along with.

Now I am more aware what to look for for red flags. With the vulnerable narcissist, you aren’t going to see red flags at first. But you will see amber flags—even more subtle. And those turn into red ones —and those turn into a catastrophe LOL.

I am learning that empathy and compassion do not mean you don’t create clearly delineated boundaries and let others cross them. It’s a hard lesson for someone like me.

Look, I can’t even feed my cat properly. She comes in and gives me the cuddles and goes to her food dish even though she just ate. And I say no. No. No. Well…okay. Just this once. And now she has the most unproductive eating habits and it’s my fault. LOL

[Jeffbambam]

Thank you Dr. Peterson for all you do, the list of ways you help people on a daily basis through your videos is astronomical. ❤

[klehman]

Narcissism is a spectrum of negative behaviors of which most people fall into the first 25%. My experience with both victim and covert Narcissists is essentially a false self run by their egos. Neither accepts accountability nor responsibility for their actions despite how much harm they do to others. In both cases how they present themselves is used to manipulate and gaslight others to seek control over others to feed their egos. They are takers to the point that partners, children, and others in the relationship can eventually be sucked dry of their energy, self-esteem and physical health trying to appease their bottomless needs. A true Narcissist has no conscience of how they harm people because they think they're entitled to whatever they can get and will drop the relationship at the first sign of the person realizing what they're truly like or when better feed comes along. To everyone here wondering if they're a Narcissist and are horrified by that thought, the ability to self analyze takes you out of that definition. A Narcissist wouldn't care.

[jW-qxqd]

CS Lewis also wrote about narcissism and it helped me tremendously to identify the traits. I have an older brother who is manipulative and has a superiority complex and suffers from an inferiority complex at the same time. When I finally understood he was a narcissist, I stopped trying to gain his acceptance because my success threatened his superiority. I had to be the loser so that he could rise above. Even after understanding it, for years I still tried to serve him and be loyal to him. Finally I am a stronger person who won’t completely crumble at his humiliating criticisms. I just have to remember not to be the one to reach out first. I know. It is sad.

[rosariomusumeci]

Another subtle analysis on getting better and better our understanding about it thanks to honest psychologists like yourselves who are trying to study, honestly, this form of mental disorder. Thank you

[masterpep]

Excellent point to raise this distinction, as most people wrongly assume that narcissists are per definition extroverted, loud and aggressive.
My experience with one of the neurotic types is that they are the exact opposite. Indeed the role of victimhood, whereby the person is constantly diminishing himself to find reasons for both self-pity, as well as drawing attention with the purpose of having others pity on him.
This creates a feeling of importance ("I am the most important person here because I'm the one that is hurt!"), compensating for the lack of love this person is feeling from the world, probably due to neglect since childhood.
In a sense it is the opposite of how most people think narcissists are, which is the extroverted type that wants to shine and revels in attention for perceived excellence, fueling his ego even further and being rewarded for the effort to provoke his environment. The neurotic narcissist gets rewarded for being pitied, like a beaten dog crawling to the alpha so the alpha can "lick his wounds".
This type of narcissist is possibly more dangerous, as you do not immediately notice this trait due to its false humility. The person is still extremely egocentric and is quite purposeful in getting attention, but does it in a more subtle way.
My experience is with one such person that goes even so far as to sacrifice a family member, just to get the attention of any random person. He lives only in the moment, zero loyalty to family, friends or country, constantly seeking instant gratification through playing the victim.
This type is also self destructive: if you only find purpose by being the victim, it actually becomes a better outcome to lose in any given situation, because the negative outcome gives better reward. And since losing does not build self confidence, the person will give less and less effort into any task in life. When there is a family to take care of, this person will pull down the family into this deep pit, partly to have constant feedback and partly because he cannot bear to see people living differently and have self confidence. The neurotic narcissist hates people with self confidence, because he envies their positive reinforcing pattern of gaining strength through sacrifice.