Do I Hate Being Half-Japanese Living in Japan?

Just wanted to get a little personal and serious about a topic like this...

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[MrRoboto]

There's this scene from the movie "Selena" about a Mexican-American singer where her dad talks about being stuck between two cultures and identities. "We have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans, both at the same time! It's exhausting!" I feel that's a really good description of where many people around the world are at right now as cross cultural people. You have to be twice as perfect to be accepted.

[gcs]

You are not stuck in the middle of the bridge, you are the bridge.

[TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

That was a heartfelt and beautiful video, glad to know you've come to terms with that struggle within.

[GaijinGoombah]

Props to you dude. This video is real, honest, and from the heart. Some of your best stuff comes from these places.

[JohnHill]

Thank you for this video. I'm a half Korean half America who has struggled deeply with my lack of identity, and this has convinced me to make a video about it 👊

[vortexofweird]

I'm half chinese and half irish. I am not fluent in mandarin but I have pretty good conversational speaking skills. Whenever I go to China, I always get a little disappointed that no one wants to talk to me in Chinese. It's weird because they see me as not Chinese enough due to my language not being fluent but refuse to talk to me in Chinese (which would help me improve my language skills.) I've considered just studying on my own like you did but I guess I've lived for so long in the US that I feel less and less connected to China the older I get. I think there's this pressure on hafus to be "well-versed" in both of the cultures they are connected to, otherwise there is a sense of guilt. I think this is like the bridge you described in the video.

[hoshreload]

I'm 50% Japanese, 25% Italian, 25% Austrian. I was born, raised, and still live in the US. I can understand everyday Japanese fluently (thanks to my mom), but I can't speak it. My dad is white and doesn't know any japanese so we naturally stick with english in the house(my mom and I sometimes agree to only speak in japanese to each other, but then it ends up not happening within the next hour xD). I was fortunate enough to be able to go visit my Mom's side of the family in Japan every summer for about a month at a time. I love it there. But when it came to speaking with relatives, things get a little interesting. I'd either stay silent and let my mom do all the talking or if it was a younger cousin, I'd try to use body language to act out my response. I really respect and admire how you took the time to really master the language. I wish I could stick to it but I end up doing something else and forgetting about it. Fun Fact, I've technically lived in japan for a year and a half if you add up all the trips xD at this point my grandparents house feels like home. OMG but the trains xddd I feel like a complete outsider everytime I hop on a train. I feel super self conscious about not being japanese when I'm there and I just assume everyone is looking down on me. I know it's all inside of my head but god do I wish I stopped thinking like that. Anyways, love you joey, keep up the great work!!

[Marmar]

Not a “hafu, ” but I was adopted from China into a white, Jewish family. I grew up studying and speaking Hebrew, yet nobody ever spoke to me in Hebrew and, on the other hand, every Chinese stranger would come up to me and try to speak Chinese to me. Then be super disappointed that I’m not “continuing my culture” by not being able to speak chinese. It didn’t help that I went to Jewish schools growing up and I was the only non-white person so nobody wanted to be my friend because I literally “looked different.” Going to Israel, I could understand everyone talking shit about me (not that I need to know Hebrew to understand people pointing at me and shouting “Chinese!” In Hebrew...). To this day, I still don’t feel like I belong anywhere and feel like a fraud in any community. But it does give me a unique perspective on many things which I am thankful for. Thanks for the vid! It makes me feel a little less lonely and gives me more confidence in my identity haha

[briannakata]

Garnt’s latest video: “WE GET TO WATCH A GUY JACKOFF TO COMPLETION”

Joey’s: Thoughtful commentary on xenophobia and how it relates to him personally.

I love both of you.
Thanks for that video Joey it was really nice. I’m a Japanese, Italian, Irish that lives in Hawaii, in Hawaii I’m called “Hapa” same meaning as hafu. I’ve never properly fit in anywhere. I’ve lived in multiple states in the U.S. I’ve made many friends of many different ethnicities. I’ve lived with white side family, and I’ve lived with my Japanese family. Even at both homes I noticeably stood out, and not necessarily in a good way. I’m not going to explain my whole life story for everyone to read but thank you for sharing a part of yours. I'm really glad you shared this perspective, this relates to me to an extent, and it was a nice watch. Thanks again

[Dylan-mnfv]

as a mixed person raised billingually... the way see this topic is: wherever I go I'm a foreigner. even there where I was born and raised. to be honest, identity wise I can't seem to put myself anywhere (when talking about nationality).

I'm happy to see that it's working out for you... this topic is very interesting to me, because i deal with it all the time.

[kenzokm]

Mate, respect for that, it also took me a while to embrace my identity!

Being a Brazilian Japanese, I was born and grew up in Brazil, and I also questioned myself a lot. As Brazil has one of the biggest Japanese populations outside Japan, a lot of folks from my generation also felt the same way, growing up on the other side of the world but still being connected to those Japanese roots, especially when you're like 98% Japanese (I got my DNA tested haha). At some point, I decided that I had the best of both worlds and I took the best from both cultures, Brazilian and Japanese! Like my father used to say 'you're a citizen of the world' 🙌

Keep it up Joey!

[iasnessy]

As someone who is half Black and half Thai, it comforting to know there are other mixed people who struggle with the same issues when it comes to their identity. I've never felt like I was "Black enough" or "Asian enough" for either side of the family. Like your supposedly part of these cultures yet so far removed at the same time. It hurts when the people your culturally connected to reject you for not being full. One of my aunt's on my Thai side supposedly never wants to come to visit the family in America because of my existence.

But hey, I'm me! Thanks for sharing your side on the matter Joe!💕

[konnekonneru]

I'm half Japanese and half Dutch raised in the Netherlands. I was raised bilingual so I can speak both languages fluently. I was raised in the Netherlands so I thought that I was quite Dutch, but if you look at me from someone elses perspective, I look completely Japanese (or at least Asian). I noticed that people in the Netherlands stare quite a bit because I stand out with my looks, while I could completely blend in in Japan whenever I went there to visit my family. As I don't like standing out, I decided to make my appearance even closer to a Japanese person (also because I like the Japanese style and looks more). But that doesn't mean I gave up on my Dutch side or anything. I'm actually really glad that I can experience both cultures and take the good things from both of them.
Still I find that I fit better in the Japanese culture so I'm hoping to live there in the future.

[sstocker]

I feel the exact same way. I'm half japanese and half american. Every time I walk into a store in japan I see a look on a employers face that makes me feel I'm not welcome. And then when I start speaking fluent japanese I also see a look of relief that washes over them.

I also love both parts of my heritage. I don't want to hide either one of them. And I want to show and teach my future kids about both sides of myself without having to worry about people judging them for it.

[fairycutie]

As a half-Indian, half-English girl, I’ve had my fair share of identity crisis about which side I belonged to more, mostly due to things other people have said to me or the way they’ve acted around me. I’ve faced racism from South Asians who told me I was “only” half and therefore not one of them, and I was basically white because of my lighter skin - and they apparently weren’t being racist because “reverse racism doesn’t exist”. When I was among white people, I was always the “Asian” in the group too, and faced racism in a predominately white school because I didn’t look like them and didn’t fit their ideas of conventionalism. Even family members would tell me things like this, and it was like they grouped me as the opposite race to them. I struggled with wondering what box I fit into, but I soon realised that I was both and that wasn’t something anything could take from me. Thank you so much for this video! It means a lot knowing that you and other hafus have faced the same struggles I have

[PsychoSatsujin]

Well, this type of video was a surprise....but a welcomed one.

[永田敏人]

I'm Japanese living in Australia for 2 years. Before I lived in Australia, I was scared if I would experience racial discrimination as foreigners would experience in Japan.
However, most of people in Australia are easy going and when they realise I'm Japanese they tell me how they like Japan. I really appreciate that.
As Joey said, there are many biases and discrimination in Japan as well as admirations and favor. Mostly because of language barrier, most of Japanese don't know what foreigners are really like. I've also been dating an Australian girlfriend for about 2 years now. We sometimes talk about when we have a kid which country is better to live in for the kid. I hope Japan will become a more comfortable country for foreigners and halfs to live in in the next generation and to do so, I realised, thanks to Joey, raising voice is essential to change their thoughts in Japan.

[ivooderso]

I was born in Germany, grew up with Croatian parents, but I feel like a foreigner in both countries. My name and last name arent very "german-sounding". I may not have it as bad as others, because I look like the whitest guy ever, but I've had enough instances in which I was reduced to being a foreigner, even tho I speak fluent german and write as good if not even better than your average German... The thing is, I'm not fluent in Croatian, whenever I visit my family I have a hard time communicating. I may understand every word they're saying, but I'm never able to fully say what I want to. In Germany I'm "the Croatian dude" and in Croatia "the German dude". It makes me feel torn in my identity, because I love my family, but man I just want to be seen as any other dude sometimes. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk~~~

[MrAnperm]

You're not "hafu", you're "bothu".
There's a level of open-mindedness you get from growing up in a mixed household. Because you are used to looking at the cultures of your parents from different perspectives.

I'm half PNG / half Anglo Australian.

[aanon]

I'm mixed white and asian and never felt out of place based on my race because I always lived in a cosmopolitan area where everyone around me was just as different from me as they were from each other. My schools looked like UN meetings and nobody was ever bullied for their heritage as far as I knew of. If everyone is different then no one is and I was always thankful for it.