Portal 1 - All GLaDOS Quotes + Still Alive (w/Lyrics)

"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center."

Finally decided it was time to post this, having recently gotten into Portal! I love GLaDOS! She's so funny and witty at times (even though, to be fair, most of her humor is pretty dark)!

Spoiler alert: She is actually a good guy... "Sarcasm sphere self-test complete."

Oh and, "Two plus two is...ten. IN BASE FOUR I'M FINE!"

And when you're threatened by deadly neurotoxin, "stop squirming and die like an adult, or [she is] going to delete your backup."

Stay tuned next week for "Portal 2 - All GLaDOS Quotes (Singleplayer) + Want You Gone (w/Lyrics)"! :)

LYRICS:
This was a triumph
I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate
my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are
still alive.

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincer right now.
Even now you broke my heart
and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data
make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are
still alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else
to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa...
THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there,
it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are
still alive.

And believe me I am
still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm
still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm
still alive.
While you're dying I'll be
still alive.
And when you're dead I will be
still alive.

STILL ALIVE

STILL ALIVE

"Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: 'HELLOOO!' That's you! That's how dumb you sound. You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?"

[Stoshasaurusrex]

I want her as a GPS navigator.
“Oh. You missed the turn. Great job. Now think about what you’ve done before finding a place to turn around. Or use a map. That works, too.”

[paigerenee]

It’s cool how her voice changed forever after Chell burned the morality core.

[IC-]

12:58

Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye", and you were like,  [deep voice] "No way!" And then I was all, "We pretended we were going to murder you." That was great.

[jamesobrien]

I think that 15:58 onwards is the scariest. Including the exact moment when she becomes fully self aware again, the way her voice changes from a robot to a more smooth and sadistic tone always freak me out...

[Isabella-dfji]

"The enrichment center is required to remind you that you will be baked. And then there will be cake."

[LegoWormNoah]

"2+2 is-s-s-s-s-s 10. In base 4, I'M FINE!" Never gets old.

[eyitsyaboi]

21:09 hahahaha XD "stop squirming and die like an adult please"

[MiDuWay]

19:21 THE DELIVERY OF THIS LINE IS SO SASSY WTF

[iainjames]

The first time I played Portal I had to pause the game at 20:19 - I was laughing so hard at the

[SunlethSky]

"Your whole life has been a mathematical error", actually crying omg.

[Mesruksi]

"Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it *well I won't let you* "

[nutbutter]

"It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the enrichment centre with a deadly neurotoxin. To stop me from flooding the enrichment centre with a deadly neurotoxin."

[tilaNmanx]

20:35 Glados: HATE YOU
AM: Oh honey, you have no idea.

[TheSpyFromTeamFortress]

21:09 "Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup."

[alinarovanpera]

5:30 "in layman's terms: speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out"
I love her

[fluffycore]

15:20 Do you want to marry it. WELL I WON'T LET YOU

[omegawilliams]

19:07 Since we later find out Glados is actually a human consciousness transferred into a computer, there’s a good chance she really does know that.

[gavtv]

15:47 You are kidding me!? Did you just stuff that Apetrue science thing we don't know what it dose into an Aptrue science emgency incerator?? That has gotta be the dumbest thing that i -

[lrr]

Favourite parts:

2:20, 4:02, 4:57, 5:16, 6:09, 7:02, 7:54, 8:15, 11:37, 12:41, 13:00, 13:39, 15:16, 15:47, 17:58, 18:33, 20:18, 21:27

[DarlingJubilee]

I can’t get over how GLaDOS says at 6:13