Five Stupid Things About Weddings

I've attended exactly two weddings in my life that I haven't spent every second longing to escape. One was mine. The other took place in the back yard of the couple getting married and the next morning they invited us back for breakfast — breakfast with bacon. If only they could all have bacon . . .

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[SteveShives]

Apparently my wife's parents, who are lovely people and have always treated me wonderfully, were upset that we didn't send out thank-you notes. The fact that every single person who bought us a gift or insisted on throwing us a party ignored our very clearly expressed wish to not have those things was irrelevant.

[SteveShives]

The attitude of some people is just baffling to me. Within seconds of my wife and I announcing the date of our wedding and saying that we didn't want gifts or a party, my wife's grandmother asked "Won't you let us throw a party for you?" And I said, flatly, in front of everybody, "No." But we ended up having one anyway, because apparently I was the one being rude, not the person who insisted on disregarding our wishes.

[desidaken]

My old JROTC instructors once said that they can't make us have mandatory fun. Your video reminded me of just this. I liked this a lot!

[wynkelly]

My feelings exactly! Weddings can be worse than funerals!

[ScootsMcGirk]

Well fine, you're off the guest list. 

[SteveShives]

The wedding I went to yesterday (of a cousin of my wife) was a perfect example of everything I talk about in this video. When the bride and her father started their dance (to "Butterfly Kisses"), I was ready to bite down on the cyanide capsule.

[SteveShives]

My wife and I were married in the church in which her parents were married. But it was a secular ceremony -- no scripture readings, not even a prayer. We had to talk the pastor performing the ceremony (who is a lovely person I'll not hear an unkind word about) into it, and I was pretty pleased with that.

[CircleTheSkies]

I generally don't mind most of the festivities myself... but then, I don't go to many weddings. And I'm a fairly tolerant guy, so there's a lot of stuff I don't mind.

But yeah, if two people I know want to get married, if they want a big ceremony - no problem for them. If they want a private gathering - go for it. I'm not going to be mortally upset if I'm not invited to my cousin's wedding - I'll call (or email, these days) and say a heartfelt "congratulations, hope you two have fun."

[froggore]

This is one of my favorite Five Stupid Things.  But I'm surprised "the expense" wasn't one of them, because taking out loans for $60, 000 fucking dollars to pay for a single overdone event that nobody wants to be at in the first place is the epitome of "stupid".

[mahina]

Boy did you hit this one on the head! When my wife and I got married, we went to town hall, signed the paperwork, wandered over to the park next to town hall and ate a picnic lunch with aout 10 friends. Period. All the guys had to dress casual, no ties or suits, the ladies had to look pretty, but nothing overboard...and we were done!

[SteveShives]

Though not just the vanity of the bride, I should say. My wife was quite insistent on wanting a modest, intimate wedding. If she'd listened to her family, we would have had as close to the royal wedding as we could have afforded.

[TheFluffyWendigo]

Oh look I misspelled I was laughing for five minutes straight when you said that

[imkookoo]

My parents had a $10 marriage in a magistrates office and ate at Taco Bell afterward. About 40 years later, they are still together!

[akcawa]

I used to deejay for weddings. Between the Bridezillas and Cecile B Demoms, often fighting each other, it just wasn't worth it. I never did a gig without someone requesting a song they couldn't remember the title of (it goes dah de dah dah dah). After getting the tux cleaned and the Xanex (which was the only reason some folks left the reception alive) it was just too much. I'd rather deejay for a KKK rally.

[mranthonymills]

When I got married, it was a stand-up wedding with about fifteen people in total. No best man or maid of honor. It took ten minutes. The bride wore a hoodie and jeans, her favorite pair, and I wore a sport jacket I'd already owned. The wedding video was done by a friend with a camcorder. We left with plenty of time, had a honeymoon, came back, and then did the reception where we invited the in-laws and friends. This was a come-and-go affair with a few plates of fruit on tables where we mingled with guests, and everyone talked until they felt like stopping, at which point they went home.

I'm still super proud of that. It was the right way to do a wedding. Total cost was about $200.

[SteveShives]

My deepest sympathies. And you're right. I think vanity is a HUGE reason why weddings are such an endless, intolerable mess.

[bd]

Overlapping my video career was being a wedding photographer for 20 years (about 250 weddings). The next time someone asks me why I got out of that business I'll send them a link to this. I can't even go to weddings any more, and thankfully neither can my wife (who went with me on most of those weddings). Worse than being a guest is being "the hired help", no matter how much you charge it's never enough.

[gammaechofoundationproductions]

Amen, Steve! Here's number six: Wedding ceremony & reception in separate places. If you do have them at separate locations, you will lose guests (a good number, too) due to getting lost. Plus, it is a waste of money. When my cousin got married, he had the wedding ceremony and reception all in one place. This is very sensible and economical. I plan to do that with mine. The only hard part is choosing six! LOL!

[OneMadBastard]

The ad preceding this vid was for some sort of wedding planning service. Google seems to be adding irony to their directing marketing algorithms.

[magicalsimmy]

That sounds like my dream wedding. LOL!

Actually here's my dream wedding:

Having a secular ceremony on some random beach in Hawaii...with no one but us, the justice of the peace, and the assigned witnesses.

Most of my fiance's family are staunch Catholics, and that would require me, the atheist, to take some Catholic course to qualify us to be married in the Catholic church. That's a big bucket of nope for me right there.

Our wedding. Our terms.