INFJ Door Slam Explained: Myth vs. Reality

[lrwiersum]

The door slam is FINAL and for survival.

[PowerRedBullTypology]

INFJ: doorslam. At moment in time the INFJ's ordering of Ti and Ni comes to a realization that they perceive as an epiphany, which is basically an insight. This insight is likely about the other person and the role the other person plays in their life. The epiphany makes the INFJ not view the person any longer as the way they did before with their previous held belief, but now has 'updated' their belief with the new epiphany. If this new epiphany realizes the person does not belong with them or something of that effect, then the INFJ can no longer be in contract with that person, as Ti+Ni insights are perceived to be very absolute. You can not easily talk such a type out of such an experience. This is why they hardly go back on such a decision, since they can not view it the way they viewed it before. Ni views do not often update, when they update the update can be quite large.
WHere Ne/Si cna be too doubtfull and hangs in the grey areas too long and always sees it from endless amount of views, Ni is the opposite.

[cloudypianos]

Yes exactly, the door slam is the last resort after being taken advantage of or mistreated for awhile

[medusagorgon]

YES!!!! I wish people would recognize this! Just because I put up with your crap before, and gave you a second chance without making you feel like absolute trash does not mean you have unlimited chances to be unkind to me. People know when they're in the wrong. Once your chances are over the immediate response is subtle but final. So the door slam isn't truly as dramatic as it sounds. Most people don't even realize what has happened but they eventually realize I've pulled my energy completely.

[etherspin]

Yeah 100%

Its only been applied twice in 40+ years of friendships and extended family connections for me.
So many attempts to forgive and forget happen before a reluctant but Ti fueled assessment that the person is unapologetically selfish or degenerate

[kuronaialtani]

Give them every possible opportunity to prove they can change, and if they truly don't better themselves to be around you, the door locks shut and never opens again

[muma]

"other types have a harder time seeing different sides of a situation", you can say that again...

[mikegeorge]

I agree this is true. I've given people many chances but I can only go so far with them

[strngenchantedgirl]

Agree. I put up with a lot. But when I finally realize how badly I’m being treated and this person can’t love me the way I need to be loved it’s over and I’m not coming back.

[azkhvy]

Takes years or decades. Longest was 25 years with an ex after he said something very bad about the parents who adopted him. Threw our Bible at him and said "HONOUR THY MOTHER and FATHER! GET OUT! GOODBYE!"

[cazbee]

Door-slamming has always seemed way more Fi to me.

[Klingon]

Shadow leaning INFJs need some justification of behavior based on moral principles. They may be less forgiving of those who fail to live up to their idealized expectations than a more positive INFJ might be, who can be highly objective, forgiving and understanding, accepting others for who they really are, hoping to help them meet their potential rather than condemn them for failing to meet up to it.

[MSHoneybee]

In my elder millennial INFJ age I don’t really like to ‘slam’ per-say. Don’t really even like any loud noises actually 😂

[lauraelliot]

I am different
Because I think and trauma changes things that is someone is toxic or relationships are toxic it is better to have your peace.
In some ways I relate to this if family let you down or are a bit toxic at times...I would try to keep them in my life.
And persist but from my own life lessons constant toxicity drags you down and can make you sick, physically and mentally.
So even if you had to cut a family member out you may miss them but could make friends, partner etc and live in peace with better health like when me and my mum had some distance it was healthy.
And it can still be hard and challenging when we catch up or if I still need her support.