Building Identity as a Third Culture Kid | Erik Vyhmeister | TEDxAndrewsUniversity

Erik Vyhmeister explains what it means to be a Third Culture Kid, and why this matters in an increasingly connected world.

Having grown up across four continents, Erik Vyhmeister shares his experience as a Third Culture Kid both abroad and returning "home" to the United States.

[jojococostudio]

If only TCK was a country - we can all migrate to over there...

[Reiny]

Home is when you meet a fellow TCK and instantly connect! because you can finally relate to someone (other than your siblings). I need to find more TCK's in my city, it would make me feel more at home. Thanks for this Ted Talk :-)

[heatherr]

I'm so happy I found out what TCK is and means, it truly made me feel less alone. Thank you for this talk, it was very eloquently spoken. I super agree with the passport thing, and that the initial country you are born in does not feel like home.

[RubieroseCacho]

I myself am a Diplomat Kid. Our ability to see things from a global perspective is a gift. 🎁 It's a joke among my family that we're human turtles. 🐢 pack up bags efficiently, about 50lbs worth, and do not get attached and be ready to move and Goodbye is part of our dictionary. As a result, I'm not as materialistic as I moved frequently - things are replaceable. Ideas and values are far better luggage to bring with me. 💡
Thank you for this eloquent explanation of our lives, it's something people won't understand unless you've lived our life, but as you mentioned each TCK story is different but similar. ❤

[kirstenyoung]

I cried through this whole presentation. What a description of my life.

[jonlauer]

It's funny, one of the most easiest conversations I've ever had with a stranger in my life was with another TCK on a plane. We instantly knew each other's patterns of thinking and the conversations just flowed naturally, even though we had relatively different backgrounds and different interests. It was such a refreshing moment.

[hellohannahk]

So relatable! I also love seeing all the TCK's sharing their stories in the comments! I spent my childhood living in Japan, Mongolia, China, and like ten different US states. And I'm just now, at 24, realizing how that has shaped me and contributed to the life goals I have today.

[tkronenburg]

It never ceases to amaze me how important ones roots evidently are. It shouldn't really matter where we're 'from' but who we are and where we're going...but still, the lack of belonging can create major challenges...I'm glad I was introduced to the term TCK, I feel less alone.. and appreciative of my uniqueness though I can't seem to shake the sadness.

[claragarcia]

OH MY GOD! Finally I've lived in like 6 countries and I'm under 18. This explains my life exactlyyyy!

[VoteforAndrewYang-rnmw]

Being a TCK, I feel alone and lonely. Every day is a struggle. I have no friends. No one can understand me. Life sucks. Identity crisis and building.

[rosette]

Wow, I relate so much to this. Especially the 30 second talk about where you're from. People always look at you like you're insane or boring or too caught up in yourself afterwards. Sometimes I feel distant from even my closest friends because they will never truly understand my background and life experience. Anywhere I go a part of me always feels foreign. I'm glad to know others relate to this as well. Thank you for this ted talk

[selmaa]

You’ve managed to sum it up perfectly. Being a TCK is both a blessing and a curse, I feel like the exposure I’ve gotten growing up has reinforced me socially in so many ways. What has been a challenge for me the most though is getting in to a friendship/relationship, it’s always been so superficial because at the back of my head I knew I’d leave that person behind and move on..all in all the older you get, the more powerful, understanding and integrated you feel and that’s something I’ll always cherish..

[mosca]

Ah yes, the conversation killing 30 second spiel of where I've lived. I know it all too well...

[Mueseek]

The only ones who can truly understand us are other TCKs. I feel like I can't be myself around people in my home country. We experience a lot of grief, upheaval and change early in our lives, which shapes who we are. We don't get time to establish and maintain one sense of identity for ourselves. We have to adapt and change and so we don't necessarily have a strong sense of who we are. And we lose contact with a lot of friends along the way. It can be very lonely and difficult sometimes. I appreciate this talk and to any other TCKs who happen to read this comment, leave a reply if you can relate. You're not alone!

[katb]

Lovely talk, made me very emotional since I am a TCK myself and still haven't figured out who I am.

[angelamihaelafisher]

I was adopted from a Romanian orphanage in the 90s, and then became a TCK. This resonates so much! I've been shunned a lot and been called weird, but when I have found a few friends they really keep me laughing and happy.

[akuma-chandesu]

Honestly, when it comes to introductions, I think you let your fear get the best of you. You don't need an explanation of your whole life for them to understand...you just need to let them know that your experience was different.

You so easily explained it to us in the same short time.
"Where are you from?"
"To be honest, I moved across multiple countries since I was little, so I can't really pinpoint a single place. I've pretty much grown up with a little culture from everywhere! What about you?"

I've only grown up tricultured, so I know it might not be the same, but.. In your own words, there is no time to waste getting to the core of a person....so why waste time trying to show someone who you are? I've found for me it makes life so much better. Even if most can never get the deepest reaches of my heart..there is always a comfort in the fact THEY know that as well. That they also have no fear in the day that comes I have to say goodbye... Just like me, the are in to ride as long as it will last, and treasure the memories when our time has passed.

[GrillerMaster]

I was a TCK and so are my children. We’ve created our own culture.

[josefinaboschero]

I also don't really know where I am from, people say I am from the Netherlands because I was born there but when I went there to look at universities it didn't seem like home. Others say I am from Italy because my only passport is an Italian one but I have never lived there and when I went recently, it didn't seem like home either. Finally they give up and say your parents are from Argentina and you speak Spanish fluently, therefore your from Argentina. Again I don't feel at home even though I go visit my relatives every year, it just doesn't feel like a place I could call home because I never lived there.

[MusicbyAmado]

I’m so glad I found this term and video. I finally feel understood and not alone, I’ve been trying to explain this to myself and others but it never felt as encompassing and concrete as this video. Thank you so much for this, I’m definitely keeping this video saved for future rewatching sessions.