Secondary Sources and No Contact

#narcissist #narcissism #hgtudor

What happens when a secondary source (intimate or non-intimate) implements no contact against the narcissist?
Whether you are dating a narcissist, having an affair with a narcissist, whether you are a friend of the narcissist and a host of other dynamics between the secondary source and the narcissist, what is the effect when you go no contact with the narcissist? What will the narcissist do in response to you imposing no contact.
The secondary source dynamic is repeatedly outlooked by most commentators, this video provides a considerable amount of detail about this particular aspect of the narcissistic dynamic.

[Divergent]

It's amazing how you can articulate all of this. These are things I know, but could never actually explain to someone else.

[ZonyWest]

Im in control now! And thats how its going to stay.

[av]

If they’re cheating on a spouse, you’re a secondary source and you’re probably dealing with a narcissist and you’re probably not the only person they’re cheating with! You’re probably one of many, so use your head before you sleep around, and especially make sure they’re not married !!

[neverbethesameagain]

Perfect timing. Bumped into the x narc today (No idea what I was to him, didn't participate in his dirty games). Ignored him as usual since I left him without saying one word 2 years ago. No contact since. Blocked him, changed home, phone, car. Took him one year to find out where I am, as well my new phone numbers. Blocked him again and all calls from unknown and private numbers. All of that doesn't keep him away...guess he hates me to the core and wants to come back at me. Can't count the physical hoovers anymore. Never accepted one of them. Pretty ridiculous....

[fjdslkfjdsklfjdsklfj]

This is so validating. I was completely in a “shelf” dynamic. And I was demoted to the secondary source, and was gas lit to think I wasn’t.

[farfetched]

This is why I'm single and a Lone wolf. Because this is how everyone acts. I don't have time plus I'm allergic to b.s.

[ananonym]

Your videos are unique, accurate to the letter, and despite the horrors of narcissistic relationships…truly make me laugh out loud. Your naming and labelling of the exact things these people do, ie: secondary source shelf variety, behind the back of Walmart, hoover-trigger, the narcissism of the lesser or mid-range, indirect assertion of control by smearing the absent intimate partner secondary source. Your clinical tone is right on! These monsters are robots with specific and highly patterned attacks and methods. When studying my horrific experience, I found your approach bittersweetly hilarious on an absolutely hellish three years.

[bellydanza]

Brilliant. Thanks for speaking to my exact situation. The narcs I’ve dealt with have hoovered up to a decade later.

[ericac]

The narcissist tried to ask if we could be friends, after filing for a divorce. I’m grade a supply cream of the crop. I would never 👎🏾 that is so disrespectful and disillusionment . I’m so happy i have left that piece of crap for good.

[bw]

Ah, the joy of hearing HG say “booty call.” Great vid, as per usual. Thank you.

[PerrySkyePhoenix]

I was never a primary source to the most recent narcissist. I always knew that. I was his doll on a shelf for 3 years. I seem to be attracted to narcissists. I am an empath. I will never live with or be married to another narcissist. My heart can't take it.

[ananonym]

If you are within a ten minute drive…it’s worth a physical Hoover in person. I laughed my head off! So so true!

[catarinaneto]

I was a secondary source, he promised, week-end, trips and lots of BS, but I have no money or important friends, so he find another woman, thankfully for me🙏🙏he chose another victim but he want to stay friends...I has the support for the bad decisions, the optimistic the god heart always here! Since a year I'm healing and I finally in peace! Thanks for your video 🥰

[loismiller]

The mid range/lessers are so unaware, call it dopey, they don’t get it when we just fade out. It’s great. Just walk away.

[blessedsenior]

When I left my abuser after a year situation I detatched totally. Now I'm not getting rid of my Coach Bag (no way) but after 11 month of no contact I know I'm the Strong Empath I've always been
I see him regularly as we live in the same Apt Complex, but he does no attempt to approach me he knows better !!!

[kelrogers]

I received a couple of very weak hoovers, pathetic, almost. Other than that, I've been left alone. They were a lesser mid. I'm no longer worried about any hoover, they're a disgusting mess of a human being, and aging badly. I had a lucky escape!

[lindajones]

Thanks, HG. This is great for me. I am finally disengaging from friends and family as I have spoken about before after decades of emotional abuse and now I recognize, being shelved.

[Angel_MoonChild]

Litterally JUST going NC with a person for whom I was a secondary source friend....NC or SuperNova 😁🌠

[estherrogers]

Wow-this was so complete
Helped me get-it
When I texted (go forward in your destiny) I was very taken aback when he drove 375 miles to celebrate the holiday-and it started up again😳 it was very validating
-or was
many more-push/pull...
🚪
New Doors to
open Now...I choose Life...⏳
You gave me a real understanding to not
go by (highly emotional 🤔 💭 (think ink)-it will only darken my 🖤heart-then (🛐 it’s a shelter-to come under-your videos)

[hollygonzales]

I am a dirty little secret, unwillingly promoted to secondary source of the shelf variety, because I am the mother of his only son. And recently blew up his fuel matrix by brutal honesty with the primary source.
These videos are so informative 👏. I have had my eyes opened, and been given a very precise vocabulary to express and understand what has been happening. Working on no contact co parenting. Thank you. "I have drunk deep at the well of Tudor".