A Narcissist’s Proactive Non-Participation

In this video, Dr. C breaks down the passive-aggressive messages narcissists will commonly send you.

#passiveaggressive #narcissism #narcissist #relationship #toxic #toxicrelationships #covertnarcissist #controller

[bw]

Was married to a covert woman for a year and a half, then I began to realize what I was dealing with. She gave me the silent treatment so I moved into the spare bedroom and enjoyed the quiet. That made her angry. So she said we need to talk. After reading me bullet points off a paper she wrote, the final bullet point was, I need you out of the house by Sunday (it was wed night). So my heart can heal, after 6 mo. You can be evaluated by a councilor to see if you can move back in. Next day I took off work for a couple of days, hauled things to storage unit hours away. Rented an air b&B for awhile, turned in my 1 month notice at work. After a month of no contact, I drove away from my old job, picked up the last few items and left the key and a note. Don’t use insurance anymore I don’t work there anymore, I’ve filed for divorce, attorney will be in touch. Bye. She thought she was tormenting me and I’d crawl back all submissive from now on, meanwhile I worked my plan, and quietly went away. When she realized I was gone and her plans to crush me had backfired, it was too late. Yes it was painful, but I had to keep reminding myself of her past games and ungodly lies and head trips and keep moving. And not let my tendency to take all the blame and smooth everything over rise up. No contact is the only way imo. They can be dangerous and vengeful, not the stuff healthy relationships are made of. Slip out the back jack, make a new plan Stan, just get yourself free.

[sylvies]

Their cooperation, if any, is short lived, until they get their supply of course.

[Private_Pookie]

Ironically controlled by no one but literally controlled by every singlee thing

[hollandp]

Her non-cooperation gives me the chance to get out. She won’t change her attitudes to me but I’ll change mine. I’ve had enough.

[JW-yvjz]

So spot on. He is terrified of being “controlled.” When all I was asking for was consideration of how I felt. He was incapable. And punished me with silence. Now that I’m not attached anymore, I much prefer the silence to the abuse.
He describes his new girlfriend as “docile”. Poor little lamb, she’s going to get eaten by that wolf.

[Spectre]

Yes. If they agree with you it doesn't mean anything. Humiliation drives them rabid.

[biljana]

The best description af Narcissist's behavior when they have no room to avoid complying with your initiative, while you are trying to make them do something the way you have planned. Bitterlly and sarcastycally "agree" and than undermine and destroy along the way.... With intense underlying hatrage.

[caroleminke]

Passive aggression that’s menacing & ready to pounce

[DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

The passive aggressive being ignored made me nuts. No more.

[tmo.]

This is so true, AND it is the very road to losing your identity with yourself. You feel like a ghost in their presence and their life. Glad I learned all your information.

[stingylizard]

Scarily spot on. Thanks, again. Moving on as fast as I can..

[vickydittfield]

Amen you are so good at your craft, Bless you for articulating our hell!

[Potato-fvns]

They seem to think that if they are nice to you thats them automatically being exploited and losing the game. Unless its a trick. Which shows you how they feel about you when you are nice to them. They act as if everyone is like them. A user who only cares about winning a game no one else is aware of. 😢

[kupuvakata]

When I ask my husband to help with chores he becomes defensive and says I am trying to control him. And in the end I do everything alone. He has been deliberately non cooperative with anything, he always wants to be begged for help like he is doing a great favor. He says I need to clean my house but when it comes to some rule he creates he says it is his house and this and this will happen in HIS house. I have asked him to make a list of chores he would be willing to do and he never agrees to it. Because he wants to just do the bare minimum.

[afriyiedankyi]

Thanks Dr .C you are the best when it comes to Narcissism.

[Diana-wtny]

💯 accurate. Spent 14 yrs with a covert narc.

[babyblue]

That was my Mother to me as a kid from about 13 on up. It took me a long time to figure out it wasn’t me. And yet in my core I still work on “im worthy of love just because am”. When my entire life I jumped thru hoops and Bowed at my mothers feet to get love. “Yes you’re right mom. I’m very f Ed up and u r right” crying begging please forgive me when I did not have a clue what she was angry at me for. I was the One she wanted to just break me. It was like she standing on my neck while I begged please love me I’m sorry. She tossed me away without a blink of an eye and didn’t give a crap whether I was dead or alive or what I was doing in my life she must’ve cut me out At least 7 or 8 times for years at a time. And lied to
My four younger siblings that I was this horrible person.

[vonehrenkrook]

Wow. I think this is happening constantly, but I also can’t wrap my mind around anyone REALLY being like this… part of how I see this play out is he interrupts the other family members without a care—we’ll be discussing how we feel about something and he seemingly doesn’t even notice we’re in conversation and he’ll ask about how his shirt looks. But, don’t ignore him or cut him off or you’re rude and only think about yourself. 😳

[kennethmurphy]

I dealt with a person like that and I told them to their face you only talk to me when you need something and my answer is no when they ask me what they want and I stay firmly what I believe I don't compromise with idiots and demons

[iononcantomascrivo]

I see you've met my former business colleague. She couldn't even handle simple differences of opinion or minor disagreements over something trivial or inane. When she was corrected about something she should have known, she would act like she had been disrespected or the other person (usually me) had been purposefully mean to her. She just could not handle not being in the spotlight, having all eyes on her or being the center of attention. When there was nothing going on, she would concoct drama or conflict out of nowhere then passive-aggressively play the victim while pretending to be the innocent bystander. I just thank God I never signed contracts with her and got out while the getting was good.