The Pluses And Minuses Of Being An Empath Among Narcissists

Being an empath is one of the most appropriate ways of contributing to positive relationships. But when narcissists engage with empaths, they are naturally inclined toward manipulation and insensitivity. Dr. Les Carter explains how the empath needs to also maintain objectivity, reasoning that they do themselves no favors if they allow narcissists to take advantage of their many good traits.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[kathleenbotelho]

When you tell the narcissist no be prepared for a rude awakening. With their anger. Dismiss them

[barbaraeconomos]

I'm a retired physician and yet I had no idea about narcissists! Thank you Dr Carter for educating me. This was your best video ever! I'm an empath and now I understand what was going on with some people in my family!

[wendychavez]

As a very mild empath, I have been subject to narcissists several times over the years. Since my empathy is very mild, I've been able to pull away ... with help from those who really do love me. I've included you, Dr. C, and most of your viewers, as people who love me. Thank you all!

[kathleenreardon]

Yep, I'm an empath. In some people, especially men I can look psychic . No, I just pick up on everything and it sometimes looks like I can read minds. I thought I was setting limits until 2 years ago when I really learned what NPD is and how I became a narcissist magnet. I have learned to say no right away. I have learned to just let go if someone or something just isn't right for me. I have learned to speak my mind without thinking it to death. I feel strong. I was a classroom teacher for almost 30 years. There I could be as empathic and kind as I wanted to be. It was a good occupation for me. I was a born teacher. I'm retied now and I miss being around children. You can be as kind and caring as you want to be and children don't take advantage of you. I always felt safe in a classroom full of kids. It was a good place for me.

[OFFICERMCCOMACK]

I’m an Empath. And yes I have suffered needlessly for 45 years and now I’m 51, and there are no narcissistic people controlling me anymore. The narcissistic people hate that I cut them off and they constantly try to enter my life again over and over again and keep the door closed. 💪🏻. Being a Scorpio helps a little 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[jamiewilliams]

Never feel guilty for avoiding people that drain your energy, at the end of the day they dont give a damn about anyone else.

[rosiegardener]

It is quite shocking when you get to your 70s and realise that your whole life has been about Narcissists, from parents to 2 ex husbands and now a daughter, when for your whole life you believed you were the problem. Not anymore though thanks to you Dr Carter. I am now living a very different life but I could not have done this without the knowledge I have gained from your videos, each one a revelation and each one empowering me to move forward. Listening to this one about Empaths was a startling realisation of just how accurately it described me, but it also helped me see that the years of abusive treatment have not changed me the empath. I am not bitter or vengeful just sad that they could not appreciate the person I am.

[obscurum]

Narcissists aim to destroy your empathy through trauma. Don't let them.
Empaths = good.
Narcissists = evil.
Yes, it is that simple!
Great video!

[GodsGrace]

I found out a couple years ago I am an empath. I have a long history of narcissistic people in my life starting with my mom and then married a narcissist (clinically dx). What I find hard in identifying narcs is that not all exhibit those traits in the same way. For example my mom was a grandiose narc and was so my ex husband. A couple years after my divorce I ended up in another relationship with a covert narc. Way different styles of controlling. But you are correct that we empaths attract narcs like no one else. It’s challenging but I feel so much more aware and knowledgeable when I start sensing, seeing, and feeling the signs. Then I run for the hills and end those relationships if my boundaries are not respected. Boundaries are EVERYTHING to empaths. ☺️❤️✌🏻🙏🏻

[Alice-fref]

What is really shocking is when you get to your 80s and find your whole life has been a lie. It has been a life full of Narcissists. Thank God for Dr. Les Carter. He puts a name to the problem you could not name. I just don't play the game anymore, no way, no how.

[izawaniek]

You are virtually recharging my batteries dr Carter. The narcisists will run you to the ground. These are such draining and debilitating people. They do not take „no” for an answer and their arrogance and entitlement leave me speechless! I am an empath and get often overwhelmed with their toxicity. I am exhausted. I want them to leave me alone but they won’t! They keep coming back again and again!

[The_authentic_queen_]

In my younger years, I was told to have the characteristics of an empath were weak. I know now that it's like a weapon to narcissist and toxic people.

[annamariehewitt]

I WAS RAISED IN A FAMILY WITH 7 NARCISSISTS...I HAVE SUFFERED TERRIBLY MY WHOLE LIFE LIVING WITH THAT FAMILY..
AT THIS POINT, I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I WAS THE VICTIM OF ALL THEIR PERSECUTION FOR DECADES AND..AM FIGHTING BACK....THINGS CAN NEVER GET ANY WORSE THAN THEY

[belleh]

Thank you so much, your advice has saved me from spiralling into a pit of depression. I feel so validated and heard from all of your videos and that I am allowed to set boundaries. Thank you for saving us with this advice, you deserve much happiness

[MariosEvoCy]

Empathy is a blessing, it co- activates many brain abilities which allow one to help others and make a difference, but it is also difficult and energy draining work. A very fundamental principle any empath should be aware and master of is the fact that empathy is there to help and to serve but not in the sense of being people's slave servant. An empath needs to know where to draw the line, in who to help, how, how much, when, in what manner, otherwise any empath is in grave danger of being consumed by narcissists.

[PhantasmicEther]

Sometimes I find myself wishing I could turn it off— especially when I can feel every slight nuance and change in mood of my narc. I feel like I’ve become hyper vigilant over time and can just FEEL impending upheaval; also feel like I absorb the mood and mindset of others, which really gets conflicting and frustrating! It’s very, very tiring and draining. Some days I feel like I’m running on emotional and also physical fumes. It’s difficult setting emotional boundaries with others I’m close to because of that need to understand and help, and lift others up. I so often engage in a cognitive dissonance to try and maintain any peace I can in hope I can “heal” the narc and praying somehow I can influence outcomes to initiate complacency within myself to get to that point, but at least in the meantime while I am “stuck”.

[salonsavy]

Hi Dr C, I am a Empath, , and was just diagnosed with C-Ptsd, , I’m in therapy now, , trying to repair my broken spirit, , I lived a lifetime of abuse, parents, partners, , friends, , it’s unreal how narcissists reek havoc on one’s life, ,, it’s covert !, , ,

[andresrogersa]

Personally I don't believe we are the ones who should do all the therapy, what we need is real Justice in society these narcs can't keep doing the damage they do and get a free-pass while we do and pay for all the therapy, they are the crazy ones and a danger to others, they are the aggresors and the ones in the wrong.

[mikemccann]

I'm a self diagnosed empath. Everything about what I've been fits your description, as such. When I was 62 I was diagnosed as being Asperger's aka ASD. I was manipulated and controlled by deception and lies from a narcissist who unfortunately became my brother in law for most of my life. He literally controlled my every decision and what I consider ruined the best part of my entire life. I now look forward to the end of it all. Wish I knew over 50 years ago, what I know now. I would have stayed in Europe back in the 70's when I got out of the Army.

[mareeamor]

Dr C, I can identify with nearly everything you've said in this video, so I know I must be an empath. My encounters with the narcissist do create "emotional loops", tension and feelings of being a misfit in my own family home. Assertiveness helps but going no contact is the only way I can find my place of peace. Thank you for such wonderful insight into these two opposing patterns of psychological traits.