Misheard Lyrics | Peter Kay: The Tour That Didn't Tour Tour

One thing's for certain, you will never hear these songs in the same way again! Do you have any other misheard lyrics to add to the list? Let us know in the comments!

From Peter Kay 'The Tour That Didn't Tour Tour': One of Britain's most popular comics, Bolton's finest stand-up returns in this live recording taken from his sold-out arena tour.

Welcome to the Official Peter Kay YouTube channel! Bringing you all the best moments from stand up to sitcoms!

#PeterKay #StandUp #Comedy

[lordmorley]

The look he gave the person who laughed after he mentioned starving Ethiopians was absolute comedy gold ; he didn't have to say a single word, I found that hilarious.

[banksybresson]

Full list of the actual lyrics. (and song titles etc)

0.00-11 Take That-Back for good
“wash your back”
WANT you back for good

21-1.00 Sister Sledge-We are family
“just let me staple the vicar”
Just let me state for the record

1.00-1.08 Sister Sledge -We are family
“we giving love in a femidom”
We're giving love in a family dose


1.11-1.28 Duffy-Mercy
“1’m begging you for birdseed”
begging you for mercy

2.11-2.25 The Cars-Drive
“Thinking nothings wrong, pork pie”
Thinking nothings wrong, but bye

3.10-3.25 Michael Jackson-You are not alone
“Your burgers are the best”
Your burdens I will bear

3.38-3.59 Celine Dion – The Heart will go on
“I believe the hot dogs go on”
I believe that the heart does go on

4.10-4.20 KD Lang –Constant craving
“Arseholes”
Our souls


4.31-4.55 Bobby Gentry- I’ll never fall in love again
“After you do he’ll never bone you”
After you do he’ll never phone you


5.06- 5.12 Babyface- Everytime I close my eyes
“Everytime I think of it I piss myself”
Everytime I think of it I pinch myself

5.40-5.55 Shania Twain –That don’t impress me much
“I can’t believe you kiss your cock at night”
I can’t believe you kiss your car goodnight

[wendybabendy]

I revisit this video every-so-often just to bring some joy to my life... this is CLASSIC!!! LOVE IT!

[tandemaxle]

I was watching this in bed with headphones and my wife was asleep beside me. I was laughing so hard; I woke her up. She asked me why I was laughing so I let her watch, Now, we are both laughing.

[countroshculla]

I've watched this 20 odd times and every time I laugh myself silly with tears streaming down my cheeks. This clip could end wars.

[chopzmasta]

He had that audience laughing until they were out of breath. This is so good

[ginadisbrow]

Oh Em Gee! USA lady here. I haven't laughed at a comedian so hard that drew tears in a very long time. It just so happens that I lost a very dear sister-in-law last week, and I needed this humorous levity greatly. I can always count on British humor to make me laugh out loud. Thank you Peter Kay. This is my first encounter with your act. I hope to see more from you.

[bamesjond]

Anyone who sings "just let me staple the vicar" when We Are Family comes on is a legend 🔥🔥🔥

[chrispanossian]

So much of his talent is the ability to know when to say nothing and let the audience make the connection. Incredible stage work!

[JoeyIndolos]

Such a horribly strong psychological effect. Even when I’ve known the correct lyrics for years, now I can only hear what he wants me to hear 😄

[MsPlayitright]

No matter how many times I watch this, I crack up. The man's a genius!

[hugohackenbush]

I was feeling right down this morning around 4am...couldn't face the day at all. Knew I'd work at 5:30am. Watched this just now in the locker room and it really has cheered me up. To anyone going through a rough patch, know you're not alone and I hope you feel a bit better about things as your day progresses.

[ajbr]

“Can’t see mine let alone kiss it” that was just the final move, killed me 😂😂😂

[jonjonr]

Cannot unhear. Will forever hear these lyrics when these songs play.

[mrw]

This is one of the best live comedy sets ever. The man's an absolute legend and a comedy genius

[curtriceennis]

I love the fact he plays the songs to letcha hear the way the lyrics can be misheard. That only adds tremendously to the humor he imparts !!! Hope I can find more of these videos by him. 🤣😂🤣

[kristennorth]

I watch this video often. When I can’t sleep, when I am sad etc. Fantastic. His facial expressions as well make me laugh so much. Love this guy! Comedy genius

[expattrading]

This guy is criminally underrated. No idea why he is virtually unknown outside the UK

[jnbr]

Thanks Peter, I'm never going to be able to Listen to Sister Sledge We are Family ever again without hearing "Just let me Staple The Vicar"

[YohTaiSai]

I always come back on a yearly basis just to watch this again and it's like I never even watched it after.