She Doesn't Want To Try New Things In Bed

She Doesn't Want To Try New Things In Bed

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[jenk]

Far too often the "spice" men want to add to the bedroom is painful and degrading. If you love your wife you shouldn't want her to hurt herself to please you. Causing her pain and humiliation should not bring you pleasure. She is your wife, not a porn star.

[samanthasmiles]

As someone whose been married for 10 years (and has a pretty adventurous/fun sex life), here is my advice for husband's who would love to get their wives to try new things: (at least this is what worked for me)

1. Understand that women have been taught sex shame since the day we were born. Most women lack sexual even if we are married. What this means is... you need to SLOWLY integrate new things. Do NOT dive in and expect your partner to be immediately comfortable. I promise, she wont be. Instead of diving in - slowly dip your toe in. Give constant reassurance and praise. Be vocal about how much she turns you on and how excited you are by these small changes. This will build her confidence slowly and naturally. She will begin to LOVE how turned on she makes you feel. It also gives her time to figure out what she likes and how she likes it.

2. Make sure she is coming 99% of the time. I know so many wives who hate sex just for the fact that it is BORING for them. Sex sucks without orgasms. Your wife should be telling you every single time you are intimate when she is coming. If she is not communicating this, then she is most likely not finishing. (If you're having intimacy and you just finish without considering her at all....Eeeek.) Men need to know when women are.... done, so they can finish after. If sex is not mutually beneficial, there is no way in hell she is going to put forth MORE effort than she is already giving. Foreplay is vital for women.... and men like it too 😂.

Good luck, guys! ✌️

[abeal]

I remember a friend saying she didn't like it when her husband watched or read porn because it gave him crazy ideas like "having sex while hanging upside down from a lamppost."
There was a rather infamous story about a couple that tried having sex on their rooftop and the wife ended up with a broken leg, paramedics had to be called to the scene.
My ex-husband thought having sex in public places was exciting.
Frankly, women get sick of that crap. It's dehumanizing, and for the thrill-seeking men, it's never enough, and eventually the only way to make it stop is to leave.

[decemberdarling]

Spicing up the bedroom usually means the woman needs to allow the man to use her body as a playground, not taking into consideration the pain and discomfort some of the things they ask for are. Normal women are not adult film stars. Most of the things on those films are painful, gross and degrading to both the film star and normal women. The difference is the film star just grits her teeth through them and receives a paycheck. If your woman is not comfortable with something, leave it alone, or ask her to try them on you and see how you like it. Bet you'll never ask her to do those things again.

[TheNinnyfee]

If your fantasies stem from adult movies, know that they are 1. objectifying/degrading women, 2. practicing and preparing to do what you just want to try, 3. may defy the usual boundaries of pain/fear/disgust, 4. could put at least one of you into physical pain and make EMTs howl with laughter or roll their eyes.

And the need to say no may make your spouse afraid that you could cheat sooner or later.

[catsGOD]

Amongst the several things that destroyed the marriage was sexual boundaries being pushed to the point that I was an invisible partner, spurred on by his growing addiction to porn. It hurt, both physically and psychologically. Lines crossed are hard to uncross. Boundaries in any relationship matter. Realizing that and respecting that should be utmost in any relationship.

[Khaleesi_Of_Kittens]

*Hey guys..Porn isn't sex. Nor is it real life...*
*Hopefully, you know that but, if not, you need to realize that. Porn is as real as Harry Potter, or anime.*

[emptysoul]

I think its probably weird painful stuff most times dudes act like they're playing scientists when it comes to sex and its like stop making it weird and painful don't forget to be passionate and stop trying to practice everything you've seen on porn on a woman you're supposed to love and cherish not a girl who's getting paid to pretend to enjoy torture lol

[hollysmith]

My husband wanted to do stuff (some goes against my religion) due to him watching corn.
He chose to stop watching and it became far less about his needs alone. He actually started to care what I enjoyed.
Now we both take turns doing what the other wants that doesn't degrade or hurt either of us.

[cornbloom]

Idk what the things are.. but it's probably disrespectful to her. I've been married 12 years, each time is amazing. I think dude watches dirty movies and is trying to make it real life.

[annagarcia]

I went thru menopause at 38. I didnt know it but my sex drive dropped and it was painful with my husband. He took it personal and accussed me of cheating. Until I went to get my hormones checked we got the answer. He changed his approach and took advice from dr. Now its back to normal and i get to have him feeling loved again

[michaeld.henryiii]

The reason the “spice” men want to add to the bedroom can be degrading is bc they only have one real avenue for learning more about sex than what they do with their partner, and spoilers, it’s porn. Instead, if men and women worked together in bed to try and make it more exciting instead of just one party suggesting something, it always ends up more fun 😊

[sarah.the.clumsy]

My issue was that he asked me to do something i wasnt really into. And i let him know. Then he'd bring it up again and i further explain why i didnt want to do that. Then he'd try to guilt me into that particular thing or tell me if I cared about him i'd just do it. The ENTIRE problem with that to me is: if HE told me he wasnt into a particular 'thing' i would never bring it up again. Respect your partner. Plus... if you have to ASK me to do something, its not going to be good. If i DID decide to do something, its going to be how and when i want to.

[Vanessa-pdrr]

I'll be completely honest here.. i used to be non vanilla for a long time (but i no longer do any of those things anymore). Long story short: i was coerced and manipulated into doing it most of the time. I never really 100% enjoyed it. Now i just do whatever I like to do (in real life and in the bedroom) ask yourselves: am i doing this for my happiness or am i doing this for someone elses happiness?

[DarcBloom]

One problem I've had in a couple of relationships, is when there's a bad case of double standards.
There's a lot of different things they want to try and I'm open to the idea,
But then when there's things I want to try, they shut down.

Doesn't just apply to the bedroom either.
I will generally try going out of my way to be supportive of their dreams and goals,
But then when I bring up mine,
All of a sudden they're ridiculous and childish, and there's no way I could possibly do any of it.
It's extremely annoying when you keep trying to lift someone up but they keep pushing you down.

[maryangier]

As someone who merely *dated* someone with an addict personality and hard user of p*rn, it was an absolute nightmare with regards to pushing physical boundaries!! I felt like he wasn’t even in love with “me” and just wanted someone who would go that deep with him and not say “no” back. It’s dehumanizing. 😔

[deezed]

When a man asks for anal respond with sure if you let me peg you first. They always stop asking immediately.

[oambitiousone]

How it’s brought up matters. Also, spicing up your regular life may be what’s missing and not some acrobatic or pointless trick.

Men seems to default to s3x to solve their problems/boredom

[shanshackyloveduck]

I brought up using the back door when I was tipsy. Tried it and it wasn't for me. I tried it again...sober and said nope. I came home one day and my husband, unprompted said, " I understand now." And walked away funny 😂☠️

[DeRone]

This is one of the reasons why i secretly don't ever wanna get married... i hate having sex. Dont like it at all and i would hate doing that to my husband, having him feel bored or that being with him is like a task for me