The Onion Cuts Up All Our Boyfriend’s Jeans

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I glued the cap to my girlfriends EpiPen and she's laughing so hard she can't breathe. It's been a few hours now and she's still on the floor 🤣

rustyshackleford
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Knowing the Onion, this scenario will be on the news in roughly seven years.

gengarzilla
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He was so impressed that an onion could do all that

stalecornchips
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I love the continuous storyline of the boyfriend.

necrocomicon
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The logical endstate of TikTok - cute music included to make you feel like it's all normal

MichaelLudden
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Glue the fragments to poster board spelling out how much you love him.

paulcooper
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"Did you superglue the door?" This implies that he was sleeping in the bedroom as she did all of this, including cutting 6 pairs of pants. xD

ArborealOreo
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his pure panic like he was gonna be murdered at the end

promenacegaming
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I don’t think the general public realise how genius the onion is

viktorkarlsson
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Our boyfriend is so cute when he panics UwU

irAbyssion
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lmao so funny i know this guy actually cool dude havent seen him the last few weeks tho odd

cleander
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The sheer panic in his voice when he screams for help at the end is what makes this funny

J-Rush
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It took me a minute to see those two words in the corner.

satorukuroshiro
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I love our boyfriend, he's so cute when he's mad

Gloomdrake
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The onion is evolving and we ain't complaining

magicianslucky
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The Onion's YouTube channel isn't even trying to have a semblance of being a satirical news channel anymore is it?

Martinroadsguy
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it's a shame he missed class. we get to spend more time with him though, so that's a plus

waffles
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Congratulations! You just won the award for Worst Girlfriend Of The Year!

AidenYTP
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damn! really got them there! thanks, The Onion!

kid
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He will appreciate us more now that we've given him an excuse to skip class.

Critical-Thinker