On the line: Living with borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a complex and misunderstood personality disorder that most people are unaware of yet it affects 2% of the general population. This video will provide a personal account of how a university student navigates their day when living with BPD. A more detailed overview of the disorder including symptoms, diagnosis and treatment will follow.

DISCLAIMER: The through my eyes style video was used as a creative element for this assignment only. This video depicts a hypothetical story of the experiences of a student with BPD. We recognize that there is variability in experiences across those diagnosed with BPD and are in no way trying to generalize the experiences of those affected.

This video was made by McMaster Demystifying Medicine students Ream Abdullah, Behrad Dehnadi, Praniya Elangainesan and Heather Zhao.

#DemystifyingMedicine, #MentalHealth
Copyright McMaster University 2019.

Resources:

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health

National Institute of Mental Health

US National Library of Medicine: Medline Plus

Treatment and Research Advancements for Borderline Personality Disorder

The Canadian Mental Health Association

Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-686

Crisis Services Canada
1-833-456-4566

References:

Bozzatello, P., Bellino, S., Bosia, M., & Rocca, P. (2019). Early detection and outcome in borderline personality disorder. Frontiers in psychiatry, 10, 710. DOI:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00710

Fatimah, H., Wiernik, B. M., Gorey, C., McGue, M., Iacono, W. G., & Bornovalova, M. A. (2019). Familial factors and the risk of borderline personality pathology: genetic and environmental transmission. Psychological medicine, 1-11. DOI: 10.1017/S0033291719001260

Gunderson, J., Herpertz, S., Skodol, A. et al. (2018). Borderline personality disorder. Nat Rev Dis Primers, 4, 18029. doi:10.1038/nrdp.2018.29

Paris J. (2005). Borderline personality disorder. CMAJ, 172(12), 1579–1583. doi:10.1503/cmaj.045281

[Young_Revolutionary]

I’m 25 years old. I’ve had BPD my whole life I only became absolutely aware of it when I turned 20.

I’ve lost so many relationships, friendships, and TIME because of BPD. I thought I was crazy or that maybe I was alone but watching this made everything make so much

I’ve lost some really amazing women that were DOWN for me for life and my BPD fucked it all

I wish I could fix myself and then help others.

In the end, we aren’t alone. There’s others like us.

[Nyokicat]

I have BPD and to see all these comments ... It just breaks my heart to know that we are all feeling this way. I hate how painful it is to live and experience life, not just for me, but for everyone. I hope we all eventually get the help and love we need to heal.

[IntheMOMENT]

Yep....and this is why my only friend only communicates in a series of meows....and sometimes even that gets misinterpreted...lol

[scarredandscaredeva]

Whoever made this video is an absolute legend as I can relate to everything you just said in this video, today I saw my DBT therapist I I'm starting to learn about radical acceptance it really helped me feel better today as I had a breakdown this morning before I went there and now I feel much better that I talked to my therapist and it does EVERYTIME! Thanks for making this video it is amazing 😊❤️ you have made me feel even better today 💯

[brittanysmart]

Situations like this EAT away at me. Especially if it's someone close:(

[ns]

I thought these kind of thoughts are totally normal ..

[wendyjones]

I has this and clinical depression and anxiety disorder all my life its a living hell with no escape!

[NaomiNavec]

Its horrible i want to escape this toxic headspace but i cant 😢😢😢😢

[iamenergy]

I go through so many things in my head if I feel like I've been wronged and come up with alot of scenarios and just decide to cut them off until they prove themselves good in my eyes. But I still keep what they did in the back of my head and still want to tear them a new one, being ignored is something I extremely hate and will hate that person always until.they prove themselves ...shit sucks

[HospitalForSouls.X]

I've had BPD for my entire life, I'm almost 27 years old. I have some advice for anybody struggling with separation anxiety....

The best thing you can do for yourself is cut everybody off for a while. That doesn't mean forever if you don't want it to mean that. Tell people you're gonna go on hiatus for a while. I'm not talking about a week either...for me it was 5 years. You have to create what I call ground zero: completely reprogram yourself before you have anyone back in your life. While you're alone, make an effort to build up your self esteem and independence. When I took my hiatus, I taught myself how to be happy on my own. I watched my old favorite childhood movies, went for trail walks, visited different towns, worked, went to school, taught myself to play various instruments, made art, etc. I became so enamored with the curious adventures of solitude that I actually ended up being excited about it. I loved to see what the day would bring me, and to know that I didn't have any obligations to anyone or any stress related to my dependence on them.

The self esteem part takes time, but I found that the easiest way to do it was to get into spirituality. It teaches you that your life itself is what's important. You're here on earth to fill a mission and your suffering is part of that. The hardest battles are given to the strongest soldiers! When I started thinking of my life as a critical weave within a tapestry of human experiences in the third dimension, I became less focused on impressing people with minor things like physical beauty and notoriety. I knew that i was enough and that I didn't have to compare myself to anybody. In fact, spirituality introduced me to sonder (the understanding that strangers have their own complex lives), and I felt less threatened by other people. I learned that the right people would gravitate towards me if I stopped chasing everyone, and that I wouldn't have to worry about not being enough. If I wasn't enough, it was their problem and not mine.

I hope this helps someone...you've gotta wipe the slate clean and THEN invite relationships back into your life. If you keep repeating this cycle of muting your thoughts just to keep people around, sooner or later those thoughts will break through the dam and the people you care about will leave. You've gotta learn how to want them and not need them. It's a work in progress but it's the greatest advice I can give!

[szdwright]

I have a granddaughter who is, unfortunately, a victim of BPD. She dropped me after years and years of daily multiple phone calls and then suddenly- haven't talked to her in a few years now. It was very strange to be thrown away like yesterday's newspaper. I wish her well, and I also wish there were a medication for it- but there's not. There is, however, therapy. She has been in and out of therapy also for many years but, apparently, it hasn't taken hold. I wish her the best, but I do not invest much emotion in her any longer. It's just not worth the pain.

[faithwoodsford]

37..and I lost my kids and my husband and my home all because I didn't get the right treatment! Still waiting even after 3 years in and out of hospital!! So hard to live with this

[shresthakamar]

Well as she said "I should have told her I've BPD", let me tell you something, my best friends knew I had BPD, they had seen what I had gone through after my break up and they were there. Few years later they left me. I'm not denying that I have been toxic a number of times and they always have the right to walk away. But after a point they told me I was faking and pretending. I mean yes someone can always choose to walk away like even after seeing you going through shit, I guess they can but they knew I was not faking it and still that's what they said. :D

[tiffsaver]

I think there are FAR MORE BPDs than only 2%. MANY MORE.

[zoibrenner]

It's been a couple of months since I've been diagnosed with BPD. It was a shock for me to realize, that so many things have been because of my disorder, without knowing what exactly was going on.
Without knowing that I have it, I went to a clinic. There I've got diagnosed other several Therapie sessions. Finally I could tell my friends what was going on with me, but after one of them heard that I've BPD, both of them left me. It's been maybe 3 weeks before they told me, that they love me and that we are like family. I was finally able to trust again, just to lose them in one second of time...

[Cookiecat]

Ppl like to toss this disorder aside a lot and it’s like a living hell. And no one gets it half the time so you live through it alone

[YourEnglishDosth]

I have bipolar 1, BPD and generalized anxiety disorder. I can relate. Its really hard 😥

[Tyyfann]

Hello, I relate a lot to this although I wasn't diagnosed with BPD. I fear abandonment but I'm struggling right now. I need a friend. I'm in deep depression. I feel like I'm drowning in sorrow. I get so attached to people.

[grandmastermario]

Abuse can cause it any kind of abuse verbal emotional physical sexual abuse separated from a parent or abandonment even witnessing violence in the home and being bullied at school mentally physically or sexually lack of support family conflict parent who are alcoholic or mentally ill witnessing there symptoms and temperament can also cause it lots of factors

[BigAlf]

I'm crying because I wish I had gotten my diagnosis earlier in life and maybe I wouldve been able to save my relationship