INFJ Stress | You don't need Willpower

Aug 7th, 6pm CET, 12pm EST, 9am PST

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#INFJ #MBTI #INTUITION

[Wenzes]

Thanks for watching 😊👍 what little change are you commiting yourself to in order to actually BECOME the person who doesn't require willpower to achieve what you want? State it in the comments ⬇⬇⬇

[baaf]

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
― Aristotle

[tanern]

I'm so glad someone finally said this!!! I see people destroying themselves, with all this self discipline and willpower bs. (Sorry for that last word, but I'm so angry.) I love the parachute metapher.

I think another important point is, that we chose the right goals for ourselves. I see people trying so hard to match the blueprint they see on social media, without questioning them. But people have such various talents and strengths. I think it would be helpful, if we ask ourselves on a deeper level, why we actually want something and if we are not just chasing an illusion of who we think we should be, instead of working with who we already are.

[Chierushi]

"Self confidence is built when we keep the promises we make to ourselves." Brilliant.

[deborahg]

I really needed this. Because I haven’t been giving myself credit for the small steps I have implemented lately. I work two jobs, my house to keep clean, I weigh more than I’d like, I want to do yoga, I drink a lot of soda, but over the past month or so I bought prepackaged meals for my lunch that are healthier and I don’t go out to eat, I am trying to do a little cleaning or cleaning out every morning, I drink water while I’m at my second job, I try to do the child’s pose and cat/cow every morning while I pet my cats. Thanks for helping me to see I am making progress and it doesn’t need to be overnight success

[magetam]

Wenzes, you are a real inspiration <3 I don't know any real life infjs beside myself ofcourse, and seeing you, an infj who has their life figured out gives me so much hope that I can too make it with time. I know I have a long way ahead of me but I'm learning to enjoy the journey and live in the moment and your vids help so much so, thank you!

[diannevalenciano]

Thank you Wenzes, always well put! Three years ago when I first moved to Japan, I was invited by a friend to climb Mt. Fuji. Although I liked hiking, my physical capability at the time was zero so naturally I declined. It was this year i decided to finally climb it. From zero (or negative I should say as I have asthma) I built up my health slowly starting with just walking in the park, to jogging 5K nonstop, and climbing other mountains smaller than Mt. Fuji. Willpower and self-discipline were definitely necessary in achieving each milestone towards my ultimate goal, but it was the habits that facilitated the change I hoped for. By the time I climbed Fuji, I found I enjoyed myself the majority of the 8 hour hike and needed much less willpower to "push through". The initial willpower mapped out my goal and the healthy habits, both mental and physical, paved the pathway towards it. The acceptance of your current state is key as the next stepping stone doesn't appear when you're not mentally prepared for it :)

[Hekatear]

This video spoke to me louder than any motivational content, is more practical than any guidebook, and feels so insightful like someone has shone a beam of light into a dark corner in my life that I knew existed but always failed to find. Thank you so much Wenzes for this.

[RogerCh]

You can't rely on willpower, you have to build habits.

[savannasmuaythai]

I have a little sister whose an enfj who I give advice to from your videos and Aberham hicks teachings and other speakers and I feel like an older sister is giving me the advice I need to hear when I watch your videos, thank you ☺️❤️❤️❤️

[sophiegilbert]

I lost weight because I wanted and needed to. I told myself that I am choosing my health. I can eat whatever I want, but I choose healthier foods because I care about myself. It was a way to feel empowered, not deprived. Whenever I set my mind to something, and I feel passionate about it, nothing stops me from achieving my goal. I have to put myself in that mindset, that I care and I really want this.

[annasic]

Hey Wenzes! I'm also an INFJ and either a 9w1 or a type 4, sx/sp. Either way, I am sure that I have both 9 & 4 in my tritype. I love your content and resonate so much with what you have to say, and am grateful to have found your channel!

I love the parachute analogy you used here. Maybe it's an INFJ thing or an sx-first thing but I frequently fall into that all-or-nothing mindset, feeling like I have to create major change all at once. That then leads to feeling overwhelmed, not knowing what to do next or feeling like I have to have it all figured out before I can move forward. I know you are right about creating small positive changes at a time. I have done a lot of that in my life already and have definitely come a long way, so I appreciate you for reminding me of that.

You explain things so well and are incredibly inspiring as well! Thank you for sharing your insight and experiences. Looking forward to watching more of your videos. <3

[jessenceq]

As a man thinks, so he is. I just was writing a friend about doing things out of the overflow of a heart transformation rather than self will power. That's a more spiritual version of what you are talking about here.
I've been making small changes as you wisely mentioned here and have been sticking with them! I really enjoy the analogies that you used - the parachute. And your use of logic and objective reality is sooo important for us INFJs! To trade in ungrounded idealism (delusion) for reality checks driven with vision & improvement. Then we can take measures for where we ACTUALLY are and this have ACTUAL results. Instead of imaginary results for imaginary selves. I find facing my true self is bittersweet but also extremely enrichening to my life. It's authentic and edgy and less empty. It's recognizing something greater.

[v.kelsey]

Hey Wenzes, this was really good to hear, especially right now. I have been in a great mindset the last few months, which has led to me finally landing the kind of job that I've been hesitating about for two years. It's going to be a life-changer and will be the first challenging yet passionate goal I've attempted for myself in a long time.

I'm preparing to move and in the last steps of gaining my work visa. I recently had my last day at a job that has been sucking the life out of me for over two years. I assumed that nothing could get me down now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

However, preparing for a new life means wrapping up loose ends in the old one; and in the last couple of weeks, dealing with unkept promises from my last job regarding my final pay ( as well as unfair charges from a cancelled service) and the complicated hurdles related to attaining a work visa, I've had to deal with a lot of unnecessary hassles which are really challenging the part of me that hates detail-oriented tasks.

My mind tells me that all of these things are not only fix-able, but they are also a very small part of the process that will lead to a more fulfilling time of my life. However, recently, my heart has not been in it.
Last night, a loved one told me that I should never feel too tired to fight for what's right or to follow through. And then I saw your video as well. Both are good reminders to look at what I'm doing and realize that "faking it till I make it" is usually good for short term but not long term. You are right-eventually you have to really be "there"; not pretend to be "there" forever. If I had completely arrived at a stable, peaceful mindset, I would not feel so drained by these current hassles when I should be feeling really blessed and grateful no matter what happens.

I have been challenging myself to revert back to my earlier, healthier self immediately since I've quit my past, draining job. But I think I have been ignoring that I need to start slow ( catch up on sleep, eat healthier and work up to a vegan diet slowly, start taking regular walks with our dog instead of trying to hit the gym full force); that is actually where I am right now. Those small steps would help me feel more energized to deal with everyday stresses. And they are small, in the grand scheme of things. My stress just makes them appear big, and I know that I have dealt with much more in my life. And I can again. 🙂

As usual, thanks, Wenzes!

[merypoza]

Yeah it's true. I just start where I am & don't worry about if it's not perfect yet. If you think about it, even if you think it's perfect now, years later you'll have improved, and that won't look perfect to you anymore. Just do what you can own, & give yourself time to grow into stuff, and don't be afraid of looking stupid to yourself in your small beginnings. It's a process.

[light]

Makes perfect sense. When I wanted to introduce a certain habit in my life, it hasn't always been easy. But when I told myself: "Hey, try to do it as many times a week as you can, but when you just don't feel like it, don't force yourself." This is how I've been doing yoga plus other exercises almost every day for three years now, it's how I've developed the habit of spending about two hours a day listening to three different languages apart from Bulgarian just to keep my hearing well-trained. I wanted to go big and spend an hour and half on each language, but I don't have the time, so I said to myself that about half an hour is still better than nothing and now it's been about a year and I'm very happy because this approach is paying me off immensely.

[thecomputernerdfa]

Okey wow, I have really gone through so many years of my life in the way you’re describing. So much so it’s even obvious to other people. And really I just keep beating myself up. Like in this very moment, this stress and all the fears are controlling me - and you’re right. I wanna feel worthy so much. It hurt a bit to watch this, and I’m grateful for
it. I really need to get out of this. I’m gonna work on accepting where I’m at. But it’s a real trap, like you mentioned, to believe that the real you is the one there at the top, that you really can’t keep up with for long.

Thank you so much for the tools you are providing here. It’s truly inspiring . I think my first step is gonna be talking to my ISTJ so about this in a few days when he gets home. Having realistic expectations is really more of his strength than mine :p And it will help me to put words to things - like what it really is I wanna strive for.

[annap-g]

Powerful message. Thank you Wenzes for sharing 🙏🏻💝 Just what I needed today 🍀

[lindateuling]

This video came at a good time. Yesterday when I watched and listened to your previous video, I chose to follow up on a previous hunch and made a firm decision to do something extremely important. I made some plans and felt like they were good ones. I knew this wasn't something that could be answered quickly, and had already decided to take small steps at a time. (I didn't think about willpowr even once - just that it was going to be done!) )You confirmed on this video that I was on the right track. So thank you for a timely message! ❤💙😎

[sujata_]

Super effective, just loved what you said, thanks for this beautiful advice, you rock❤😇🌈