Me or We? Cultural Difference between East and West

How does your culture dictate your views on family, individuality, and even sharing food? Explore cultural differences in this animated short.

[booboobunny]

It would be best if there were a balance between “me” and “we” cultures, that way everyone would have concern for each other but we’d have enough freedom to make our own choices.

[deadbutmoving]

As an Asian who lived much of my life in the West, I got to experience both. I see advantages and disadvantages in both cultures. Here is some of the observations I see:

Because Western Culture focuses on the individual, they tend to encourage individual initiative, creativity, and are more tolerant towards new ideas and ways of thinking. Henceforth, if there is a genius born among them, he is more likely to thrive and become extremely creative and productive. Western cultures are very inventive because gifted individuals among Western cultures are encouraged and rewarded for maximum productive work and are therefore able to achieve their maximum potential without restraint. However, there is a danger that these individuals can neglect the welfare of those less fortunate, their communities, and even undermine the nation state. Often these high achieving and wealthy individuals can combine to act only in their own best interests and can often be quite destructive towards national unity and stability. When the masses of the less fortunate coverage, this is a recipe for disaster. The West can achieve great things in the short term, but have a tendency to be self-destructive long term. Westerners will often create great and beautiful ideas in science, philosophy, and engineering but the bitterness of the masses will also create stupid and self-destructive ideas like 3rd wave feminism and political correctness.

East Asian cultures are very stable, think long term, and among it's members are much more egalitarian. They are very good at taking an existing idea and making continual improvements upon it, thus they are innovative but less inventive. They tend towards creating long lasting and prosperous civilizations that last forever. If you look at the oldest cultures/civilizations still existing on this planet they are mostly found in East Asia. But they have a huge problem. Their societies are less tolerant of new ideas and pressure their members to conform. Henceforth, a genius/gifted person born among them has much less room and opportunity to fully express his uniqueness and reach his full potential. Thusly, East Asian culture's ability to invent completely new ideas or concepts is greatly limited. Their cultures last forever and once their civilizations modernize, they become very wealthy and productive; However they will tend not to be the center point of new ideas that can revolutionize the world and can risk falling behind as a result.

There is a common stereotype that Westerners Invent and Asians copy, there is some truth to this. Westerners are great at inventing new ideas but Asians can exploit those ideas to their fullest potential. Take for example the car industry: Americans invented the car, but once Asians learned the idea from the West, they have the long term thinking, grit, cultural organization, and unity that will make continual improvements until they end up making the best cars and dominating the world's car industry. The American car industry however, fell behind due to disharmony, infighting, conflicting interests between corporate and labor unions.

There are things that Westerners can learn from Asian Culture: Think more about the long term harmony of your society, be kind of those less gifted than you, and learn to admit and respect those who are more capable than you, and thus you can create a more stable society. There are also things that Asians can learn from the West: Be more open and tolerant of your kid's individuality especially if it is not negative or destructive, be more encouraging of individual initiative, and don't underestimate the ability to one person to make a huge impact.

[abdel]

I'm an arab that lives in the UK, and what I have noticed is that I always share my crisps, sweets or chocolate with my friends without them asking and I do it without even thinking about it, I just share with them before I eat myself.

But my friends (which are all ME people) almost never share with me unless I were to ask them. And if I ask them they would happily share with me, but I never ask them since in my culture it's considered rude to ask someone to share something with you, but in their culture I don't think it is

It really is interesting to see these differences!

[axelhoward]

Practicing both of them is the key, but if I have to choose between them, objectively speaking, the "We" culture seems more stable and healthier for everyone actually living in their society.

[josephanglada]

Notice how religions in the individualistic West are mostly collective (church) and religions in the east are mostly individualistic (personal enlightenment, Buddhism, private religion, etc). It is like a way to compensate.

It is good to highlight the fact none of these paradigms is more spiritual or correct than the other, and it does not mean that individualistic has no empathy nor that individuals in collective societies have no individualism.

[Michael-stky]

I was raised in a We culture living in a Me culture country. many Me cultured persons try to take advantage. When it came down to asking for help from a Me cultured person to understand this culture, they dont if its not convenient for them even after you inconvenienced yourself for them.

It took a friend who understood both to explain, giving the best advice “just do what ever you need to do for yourself.”

I only go out of my way for We cultured people now they appreciate it more and come back around.

[jasminecontreras]

Growing up with 3 Algerian parents in the US, a mom, step dad, and dad has always been a little different. My dad is a psychology professor who got his PhD in cross cultural communication so I feel like I have a pretty good understanding as to how Algerian culture is different from American culture. My dad comes off as more individualistic than collectivist, he’s been living alone ever since my mom and him divorced 20 years ago. He’s also always told me to enjoy my company and seems to enjoy his own and keep busy with various hobbies. My step dad on the other hand, a social worker with his masters, is very collectivist. Sometimes it can get frustrating because we disagree on how things should be done at times, but at the end of the day it’s clear that he’s really caring and he uses a lot of “we” language. Even when he says I love you, he won’t say I he’ll say we, even if there’s no one else in the house lol. One time I made a “chore chart” to assign specific household chores to each person in the house because chores weren’t being assigned to my sister, my mom & I fairly & it was starting to become an issue because one person was always doing more chores than the other. I saw that this worked in my friends household (her parents were born & raised in the US), so I thought it was an amazing idea that would solve all of our problems with chores not getting done or one person doing more cleaning than the others. I had a chart printed out for each person in my family thinking my step dad would be all for it but he wasn’t 🤣 he was really skeptical and he honestly seemed like he genuinely didn’t understand the concept of each person being in charge of their own chores without being told to do them. It worked out so perfectly in my friends house, but my dad genuinely couldn’t understand the concept, unfortunately we couldn’t even try it. My step dad is always sharing his food and asks us to try some of our food, but will usually end up taking half lol. My mom seems to be collectivist too, but she’s a little more self aware and can notice when I’m slightly uncomfortable or just don’t reciprocate her collectivism. It’s honestly interesting to have 3 parents from Algeria that moved to the US in their 20’s and 30’s. Sometimes we’ll all be in the same room having a convo or eating together (my step dad & my dad get along well, shocking huh?) and I just sit back and observe.

I didn’t mean to write a whole essay, but oh well this topic interests me! Hopefully I gave an insightful example of individualism vs. collectivism.

[BrightOrange]

I am an American and I noticed that people from other cultures think that I am too independent, afraid to ask for help, a perfectionist, and really hard on myself.

[inhobiswinecellar]

I met someone who grew up in a middle eastern culture. she was from a collectivist culture. when I had trouble learning a certain lesson, she was so adamant on making sure I knew the material. in my 18 years of life, I had never come across a classmate who basically became an impassioned teacher within a few seconds. so I guess in collectivist cultures, students really aim to make sure their classmates know the material so the whole class can succeed. they all want to rise up together.
I mainly grew up in New York though, and went to a school that really fostered individuality. it also made us very critical at times though, and there was stressful competition but nothing too harsh. so yeah it was just weird speaking to someone who came from a very collectivist culture..but also helpful ngl.

[upsofloatingem]

This is such a well done video- the examples, the graphics, the context and the detailed explanation is accurate but also accessible to people with a lower level of English. Thank you~

[Billy_n_Stephannie]

Sincere appreciation from an English teacher here in Korea. What an excellent video for my students. Well scripted, decent vocab and pronunciation, not to mention the structure of the lecture. Thanks again.

[aangovan]

me culture more independent.
we culture more dependent.

[hsun]

Asian countries have been westernized rapidly in the past 100-150 years and are becoming more individualistic (for better or worse). So that means this dichotomy is mattering less and less. It really depends on the person and their environment or upbringing. The examples in this video should only be taken with a grain of salt.

[youalrightchief]

Grew up on both sides of the Fence, My mom's Japanese so I grew up as a child to early youth in Japan where we were raised on collective thinking and is HEAVILY built on the idea of acting and thinking of others than yourself. For instance, simple enough example but something that is taught in Japan that probably exemplifies this "Collective" thinking perfectly. On an escalator in Japan, it's almost common sense that people who are just idly going up or down stand on the Right-hand side of the escalator so that you can make way for people that are in a hurry so that they can walk up the left-hand side of the escalator. People act and move as a whole to benefit one another, and acting out of the group would usually warrant you A LOT of attention.

On the other hand, I grew up in my later years in America, and yeah. The difference between the mindset of these two Cultures is vastly different.
I learned that in America, you're rewarded for being selfish, you almost HAVE to be selfish. Nothing that others do is rarely equated to their success when and if they do succeed.
Also, because here in the US they have this fetish for being "independent" family ties are slightly frowned upon. For example, In Asian Culture it is generally not taboo to live with your parents well into adulthood being that most of them do have a career job and do chip in for rent and is also a way to pay back to your parents by taking care of them in old age as to show your appreciation.
However, in America, It's almost HAVE to move out by your 18yrs old.
One thing that made me scratch my head, I was dating a girl raised somewhere in the Mainland, as I live in Hawaii. The Rent out here can be a lot, and it's usually not TOO uncommon to see families living and splitting rent in one house. Whole families. I was working two jobs at the time at 22yrs old and I remember that she made a remark about me still living with my parents at 22.
While she was visiting here for college whose trip, finances, college tuition, dorm fee, living expenses, allowance was all hand given by her parents lmao and I couldn't help but think "huh.... okay."
I've been working since I was 15yrso old to support myself. Tf? haha. Wasn't even the ignorant jab at my living circumstance that made me cringe, it was how unaware of how pampered she is and somehow thought she was making it ALL herself. I had to laugh. Through and through, Yeah where there is a downfall from both cultural perspectives... I'd rather be a collective thinker that's considerate of others than a selfish, self-centered fuck. But that's just me though.

[TastyTarco]

I think its very important for many students/immigrants to be aware about this culture difference because it affects a lot on the persons ability to succeed and be perceived within the society. In a 'We' culture, people are more reserved and they are not as direct as 'Me' people, its important to be direct in a 'Me' society, if you are going through hardships, unjust or racism. Or if you have achieved something great or have an amazing quality about yourself, you need to share it to whoever might need to know or could know, because in a 'me' society, many people tend to take things at face value, so what you see is what you are getting. No ones going to assume you are great or in pain, you need to represent yourself in a genuine, guilt free way so that people respect you if you have done something great, or talk to you when you share your pain. I say this because being in a 'Me' culture can be hard sometimes, in a 'We' culture, people are taught to respect everyone and anyone but mostly on who they are (for example, you need to respect your elders in many east asian countries). however it is perfectly normal to confront elder people in western societies with words no person in the 'We' culture would dare say to an elderly. So know that you don't get treated by who you are, you dont get a "respect me for free beacuse im older than you card", you get treated by how you represent yourself as a person, so make sure to represent yourself!

[tristanirby]

I’m an American I think neither culture is right or wrong it’s just different. U kno it’s nothing wrong with neither independent or being involved with your community. But in my opinion in most western societies people who are individuals tend to do their own thing and not care what most people think u kno cause we have our own lives to live and can’t live for others especially when we are adults. Now we may take some people’s opinions in consideration but at the end of the day we have to do what’s best for us. Because in the west as individuals we pay our own bills and feeding ourselves cause nobody else is doing it. Whereas people in most eastern societies will tend to care what most people think because they are not only representing themselves they represent everyone in their community. They usually need to get blessing from their parents and/or other elders in their community. If they do anything that brings shame to their community they can be shunned and all. Like when u look at people who live in West tend to be more modern and liberal. They see and accept changes in the world. If your are in the East people are more traditional which means they live by social norms they have lived since the beginning. Now In some countries in the East could be changing but it’s going slow u know changes don’t happen overnight. It takes time and patience for them to happen. But no matter where u from or live u just gotta treat people with respect and all. Don’t insult the way they live or interact with one another

[hanaguerin]

My dad’s canadien and my mom’s korean so I have both cultures. I’m more of a « we » culture though.

[nevm]

Really great video to understand the main difference beetween the 2 big cultures divisions!! #Knovvaacademy

[yusufbilgeyilmaz]

I am proud of to born as a turk in istanbul. I learned western and eastern culture. Both are different but both have great perspective

[rizalukman]

This is a very important thing that rarely discused.We know that there are different between western cultures and eastern cultures.Individualistic and collectivism only small part of these different.There are still plenty of different things.