What's the Right Amount of Eye Contact?

Do you look people in the eye in an attempt to seem more persuasive or genuine? Well move those peepers around a bit, 'cause you're freaking people out! Anthony looks at what the right amount of eye contact is during a conversation.

Read More:
Eye Contact May Make People More Resistant to Persuasion
"Making eye contact has long been considered an effective way of drawing a listener in and bringing him or her around to your point of view. But new research shows that eye contact may actually make people more resistant to persuasion, especially when they already disagree. The new findings are published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science."

Attention to Eye Contact in the West and East: Autonomic Responses and Evaluative Ratings
"Eye contact has a fundamental role in human social interaction. The special appearance of the human eye (i.e., white sclera contrasted with a coloured iris) implies the importance of detecting another person's face through eye contact. Empirical studies have demonstrated that faces making eye contact are detected quickly and processed preferentially (i.e., the eye contact effect)."

Social Communication Impairs Working-Memory Performance
"Performance on working-memory tests is frequently used in experimental psychology and neuroscience, as well as in neuropsychological testing and clinical screening. It can be strongly affected by the social context and the communication style of the experimenter."

How Technology Is Killing Eye Contact
"Pat Christen had an alarming wake-up call one day about the toll that technology was taking on her life -- and her family."

To Look or Not To Look? : Eye Contact Differences in Different Cultures
"The eyes are an integral part of the face when it comes to observing or conveying non-verbal information. Each of the seven universal expressions of emotion have some change in or around the eyes that can lead you to understand what someone might be feeling or thinking."

Just Look Me in the Eye Already
"You're having a conversation with someone and suddenly his eyes drop to his smartphone or drift over your shoulder toward someone else. It feels like this is happening more than ever—in meetings, at the dinner table, even at intimate cocktail parties—and there are signs that the decline of eye contact is a growing problem."

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[AlexMogavero]

whenever i look at someones eyes for too long i think about what i look like staring at them and if there staring at me in my eyes like that, should  i look away....ect .  Then i miss out almost entirely on what they were saying

[neonpaintsplash]

I find that when I focus on making eye contact with someone that is talking to me I tend to not pay much attention to what they are saying because I'm too busy making sure I'm looking like I'm paying attention.

[mahatmapropagandhi]

i don't make alot of eye contact because i have to focus on it and it makes me miss the conversation.
then i end up asking stupid questions of wich i'm already supposed to know the answer.

[calmgameshow]

I dont look into eyes much cuz when i stare for a while, my eyes tear up, and i feel awkward and they will now that i am crying

[drewofearth]

After my time in the Marine Corps, I've been told I give an intense amount of eye contact. Honestly, that's why I looked up this topic, because I LOCK ON when I speak to someone. This feels like it's helping me interact, and when I look away it's always to make other people more comfortable. However, when someone stays locked onto me, I highly appreciate it. If an hour conversation happens, and I spend an hour looking into someone's eyes, I call that a win.

UGH... maybe I'm just weird.

[FranklovesBunnies]

I find it so annoying when im talking to someone and they start looking at their phone

[thecometgamer]

Watching all these social skills videos thinking "yeahhhh I'm never gonna remember when it actually matters am I?"

[JiveDadson]

True fact: Eye contact between dogs is aggressive, but dogs use eye contact with humans to gain favor. When dogs and humans gaze into each others eyes, both present elevated levels of the "bonding hormone" oxytocin.

[KellyOKellyComedy]

I never really make eye contact while I'm speaking. I have plenty of confidence too.  When he mentioned the short term memory issue I was able to relate.  Looking people in the eye completely distracts me from what I was saying.  I just lose my train of thought and I kind of drift off into space.  

[samanthalenhart]

I hate it when I'm in a group project, and one of the person eyes get sucked into my I once stared with someone for 5 minutes.

[Chimes]

I'm too into eyes to make too much eye contact... I'll be looking into your eyes for a couple seconds then I'll start smiling out of nowhere. Forgive my love of eyes...

[Sethemiah]

I work in Retail, and too much eye contact is definitely a huge turn-off for customers. they want you to be straight forward with them, but if you try to dominate them, they feel like they are being pushed into buying something rather than making the decision themselves. i've put a lot of thought into this through the last few years. thanks for making it more common knowledge.

[awkbr]

I know people who can't even speak to me unless their eyes are darting around the room...

[DianaPham]

I have Asperger's syndrome, and I make too much eye contact, except I don't actually look them in the eye, I focus on one point in that area, making me look like I'm glaring them down. Ugh, how am I supposed to remember to look away every 3 seconds? I'm just going to stop looking at people and grunt my way through life...

[Luxaura.fashion]

I shift between the eyes and the mouth and my friends are always impressed by my ability to keep focus

[superficial]

So where do you look if you don't want to look at their mouth either because it may give them the opinion that you want to kiss them?

[mspooner]

I thought I was just being an untrustworthy or unconfident person!! This is such a relief. Now I can quit focusing on maintaining eye contact!!

[DannyFrio]

I remember one time this girl said I was intimidating and I couldn't figure out why she'd think that since i'm 5'9 and 155 lbs. it dawned on me way later that my overuse of eye contact and body language was sending the wrong message. I try to appear attentive and confident and, apparently, end up coming off like a creep sometimes

[elenna_alexia]

This is where the eye contact as a sign of aggression comes in. Just imagine someone is scolding you for something you have done wrong and he/she is trying to establish eyecontact. It actually gets very uncomfortable to hold eyecontact with that person then. It actually potentiates the felt aggression and makes the whole situation feel much more confrontational. When you are having a friendly talk, eyecontact has a completely different effect.

[zabelconnor]

This explains a lot, i give way too much eye contact.