How I Decided to Have Kids (Not an Easy Choice!)

Here's how I *truly* feel about motherhood, and how I decided to go for it!

I’m not one of those people who always knew she wanted to be a mother. I was deeply conflicted about the whole affair up until a month before conception. Prior to that, I have done a bunch of research online, reached out to parents and asked for their honest opinion, listened to my inner wisdom and faced my struggles with honesty and kindness.

It often seems like there are two kinds of people in this world – those who just know they want to be parents, and those who are strong in their conviction that they do not.

But there’s a lot of middle ground, a land of ‘I’m not sure‘ that I suspect most of us fall into. I definitely was one of them. If you are on the same boat, I hope this video helps!

↠ CONNECT WITH ME:

[hopeylove]

I don’t want kids but I was an elementary school teacher for 6 years and I have to say it’s women like YOU that make the best mothers. You weighed pros and cons and thought about the biggest decision in your life which will make you an amazing parent - IMO :) congrats and good luck, looking forward to more videos from you!

[kelseyrosa]

I feel like I am in almost your exact shoes, 35 and spent my younger years traveling and being selfish and now I’m deciding if having a family will be in my future. I definitely don’t want to give up my adventurous lifestyle altogether and would love to see how you navigate being a mom and also doing the things you love — exploring and traveling! That would be totally inspiring to me!

[mcnater]

I love this. It was so well articulated and you can tell how much thought you gave into this choice of yours. If everyone made this same decision with the amount of care you obviously have then the world would be so much better off. I’ve been following you for what must be close to a decade now and it’s easy to see how much you really care about the world and leaving a great impact. Having 3 kids myself I can tell you raising them has been the greatest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. It’s just so hard to describe to non-parents the feelings of watching your kids grow up, accomplish things and start to blossom and become more and more individual people. Yes it’s not always easy but at the end of the day Ali can’t imagine my life any other way. Congrats on the pregnancy and I wish you and the family all the health in the world. I’m excited to see what adventures that kid gets up to and hope you continue to share your journey. Cheers!

[jordanolsonm]

Congratulations! This is very exciting! I too was very active and adventurous in my 20s and admittedly having small children slowed that down considerably (I have 3). Now my kids are getting older and I’m getting more and more active again, but this time I have awesome little adventurers to go with me. It’s seriously the best being with your kids and watching them experience things for the first time. You can rest easy knowing that you made the right decision. Good luck with everything!

[sheisomarica]

You're self-aware, confident and don't care what people think. You make your own well informed decisions as long as it brings you peace.
Love you for it!

[alessandragai_po]

Hi Kristin! I have been reading and reading (also the baby decision!) and looking for videos, but this is the first I find that really resonates with me. I am italian, 34 years old and have been travelling my whole life. I accepted at job at the biggest e-commerce company as head of HR and after years of working 8-10, last year I resigned and started my business as Professional Organizer for freelancers and companies. Now that I am more settled in my life with my husband I am starting questioning my "decision" to be childfree and I am utterly terrified by the topic. So thank you for your experience that gave me food for thought. Ale

[boymama]

Oh you'll be a great mom! It's the most amazing gift! I love my 3 boys more than I can even explain. Yes, there are days they drive me crazy, but if it wasn't them making me nuts, I'm sure it would be some other stressor in life! As far as travel, my ex and I took my first born hiking when he was 3 months old! You can still explore with kids! Believe me, people are going to love to see how you manage to keep having adventures with your adorable baby! Get lots of baby slings, wraps, backpacks, etc. You'll be fine!

[alysihota]

Wow I've always been adamant I don't want kids, but this vid, as well as the previous, really got me thinking and wondering if I should rethink my decision. I love how much thought you put into your choice, I think you'll be a great mom!

[TheMindfulPA]

Love that you shared this video. Pretty much EVERYTHING you shared resonated with me!! I often go back and forth with this huge decision. I spent a lot of time over the past 5 years traveling around the world and can definitely see why it wasn't a straight forward decision! Thanks for being so transparent. and hope parenthood is treating you well :) -- I used to look up travel videos all the time and now I catch myself searching for "How to still travel with kids" Haha!

[Chosen]

My struggle of wanting or not wanting to have a family, is all about finding the right person. I’m scared that if I meet someone and just “ deal” with the red flags, it will lead to being a single mom. Which is my biggest fear. To be a single mother.

I’m 39 and still trying to meet someone. I did meet someone that I thought would be absolutely wonderful and was amazing to me. But he was 9 years younger and was not ready. Wouldn’t even see me on a casual level which is what I suggested so he can get to know me. I’m sad about it. Bc when I was with him, I felt like everything was unfolding and finally my dream would come true.

[cindypylant]

First let me just say congratulations as a woman who is going to be 55 next month and has never had children I have to say that I now regret that decision so kudos to you for deciding to make that jump I wish you all the best

[boldmover]

Your baby will grab your heart, something you cannot even imagine. You have so much to offer that little angel.

[nicholephillips]

I am glad you posted this! I usually don't see or hear like-minded people sharing exactly why they decided to have kids and always feel like they put up a front like they couldn't be happier and everything is perfect or act like it was an accident. I'll be 31 this year and still don't think I want kids, despite being married, but also worry I'll be 40 and wish I had them. I'm going to continue to watch your journey, congratulations! Thanks for being honest about your current feelings of doubt still.

[sheisomarica]

I'm from this part of the world where as a female once you're done with your school, people, family, friends EXPECT you to get married and have kids immediately.

To me it's a bit crazy cause everyone wants to impose what they expect of you on you and don't wait for a second to know what you want.

With regards to relationships, they make it seem like if you're not dating someone, you are not permitted to breath fresh air, more like you're not a complete person and can't be happy.
I decided to work on my mind set and see singlehood as a blessing.

I promised me I'll do what will bring me peace, happiness and fulfilment. If it means getting married and having kids, then fine, I'll do it at the right time.
If it means not getting married, then that's okay too as long as I have my peace of mind.

I'm proud to see you've made your life choices based on what you want. It's encouraging.

[chelseabelle]

Hi there, I just started following you & I love your videos!! I honestly feel exactly the same way as you are describing. I am also a bit of a fearless adventurer. It is a big commitment to have children and I see that it is costly and time consuming as well as there being already quite a few humans on this planet etc. I am realizing more and more, you can always make more money and having kids as someone else mentioned is going to be a special journey of its own. There are a lot of people out there who say they are too tired or use their kids as a reason to not do things they seemingly want to do. Although, there are plenty of people still exploring the world and bringing their kids along the way and it is inspiring. Thank you for sharing and being an inspiration yourself 💫

[yazb.]

I congratulate you!! You can still travel with kids

[gayatoro]

Thank you SOOO much for this video! Honestly, Kristin, THANK YOU! Wishing you all the best for this new chapter in your life!!!! Best of luck and everything you need to feel happy!

[megananne]

The world is not overpopulated. Birth rates have gone down to where the population in the US can’t even be sustained. So I certainly wouldn’t feel bad about that.

[MollyMachete]

I always wanted kids. I actually hit a deep depression because I always wanted to be a young mom. I’m gonna be 24 this year and I just always thought I’d be at least starting my family. I just took it as a sign to focus on my career (which I really am in love with). And take the opportunity to do some traveling, that’s how I came across your videos. Family is so important. I come from a huge Italian family and it’s everything to us. Motherhood is an unconditional love that cannot be felt in any other way or substituted. Congratulations

[Feathers_and_rivers]

Girl! Relatable!! Thnx for posting this video. Best wishes