Why She Wont Let You Lead

Are you asking yourself, "why wont she let me lead?".

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[danielstergios]

This is a delicate conversation that requires a lot of careful wording because it can easily turn into dangerous communication.
It’s not wrong for a woman to want to have a man lead. It’s not upholding the patriarchy or anti-feminism if a woman wants her partner to choose where to go for dinner. It’s completely valid. And vice versa- it’s valid for a man to want the woman to choose. I think the key of “self leadership” is clear communication of wants. “Hey, I really want you to choose dinner for tonight.” The other thing is getting stuck in “all”. If the man decides “all” dinner or the woman chooses “all” budget decisions- that’s the 1950’s stupid gender roles that no one wants (I reversed it but the point is still the same). When there is a designated person to make all decision, that just creates a system where the other person doesn’t feel any validation to voice opinion on the matter. On the flip side, it can become a burden to always be in charge of the budget, the dinner, whatever it is. The other huge part of this is validation. When someone does make a decision and it’s not validated.
A: what do you want for dinner?
B: Im not sure, you can decide
A: ok, let’s have ___
B: hm, Im not in the mood for that, can we do ___ instead?

B said “you decide” and then invalidated the decision and proposed an alternative. There can be room for compromise for this if A responds with another alternative, but I think “leadership in a relationship” is clear intention. If you say you want your partner to decide something, you need to be ok with their decision. And both people need to be active leaders at times in order to maintain a strong relationship.

[Kris-ymzr]

Thanks for touching on this. It's a strange situation that I came across before and have also heard from other men too.

I like your measured advice that makes it easier for us to aquire the information we need, to assess the given situation.

[pantheresque]

Brilliant ! I think the words discussion and compromise matters though for example where to eat and go on holidays

[JCnordic]

Dating a hyper independent sometimes sometimes has an ambiguity of what they want.And causes turmoil between the 2.

[MichielK]

If you lead in a respectful and loving manner, your wife will actually open up in love to you.
Now she can let go and be in her feminine because she doesn’t have to act like a man anymore. It has nothing to do with treating her like shit, being disrespectful or being a dictator.
Why is it for us men so difficult to stay in our true masculine nature? It’s really for the best if you stay masculine for her, your kids and your world around you.

[amethyst]

Spot on!! 👌🏻👌🏻 So glad to finally have a real man I can trust and not only be ok with him leading; but, WANT him to. It’s so nice to not have to wear the pants and to be a passenger for once. lol

[Ingisen]

You know, as much as I enjoy reading about people dynamics and relationships etc, I just can't help that thought in the back in my head:
"Huh, I dodged bullets like Neo in the 1st Matrix movie in regards to relationships, dating and family."
I've long thought that I was born 20 years too late (I'm born in 1993). Seems like that period would have suited me better.
How this world is moving forward (the Western World anyways) simply isn't compatible with me, for the most part.
While I've never defined myself with 'modern terminology', I suppose Aro/Ace is the closest. I just don't have any interest in women, children or the A4/standard life. It's been like this since I was about 14-15 (the mind-set). Am I wrong with my opinions? Am I lacking in some way, sick in any way? Questions that linger, despite how much I've made peace with myself over the years.

If anyone has comments, thoughts, videos or forums they would like to share, be my guest. Just be civil about it, please.

[danf]

dude. !! want you to lead as long as you are leading by doing what they want already and then you have to take the risk if it doesnt work out, and do the hard work yourself. No woman wants you to lead if its in a direction she doesnt like or not comfortable with. Which means you have to get her PERMISSION /approval to lead. which as we all know isnt leadership at all. And ultimate if she thinks she can do better- she takes 70% of your stuff your earnings etc and checks out and leaves you holding the check. In other words blackmail. so the idea of you leading is only good as long as you dont get married and can leave without repercussions. .by the way "co leadership " means best case nobody is in charge. its why each company has a CEO and not a "co -ceo".. an army has a general ..no "co generals". and there is no "co vice president " of the united states. why? it doesnt work. there is no way to resolve a difference in direction.

[dioramadevil]

Hallo. Just subscribed. Its nice to here those kind of content and things from a man. I am in a kind of middle age crises and starting a buisnes here on Youtube. So your wisdome is much wellcome... 😀

[joannayeung]

Very interesting to hear that women feel guilty and ashamed of letting me lead. There is a history and causes of where that comes from like you stated. These women may not have a responsible male model like a father figure in their lives.

[JamesGreenier]

Because she’s used to dating weak men. I told my gf to stop acting like a man, sit back, and relax. Works.