Why Giving him Space will Never make him Better | Adam Lane Smith

If you want to learn to build a fulfilling lifelong relationship with the man you love and help him understand and cherish you in return, pick up your copy right now.

Are you hoping to save your relationship with an avoidant man by giving him space? Many women find themselves in this predicament, believing that endless patience will lead to a breakthrough moment of realization. But the truth, as explained by Adam Lane Smith, the Attachment Specialist, is quite different. In this compelling miniseries transcript, Adam discusses why giving avoidant men time and space often leads to relationship demise rather than resolution.

Adam Lane Smith, a former licensed marriage and family therapist turned Attachment Specialist, has worked extensively with couples navigating the challenges posed by avoidant partners. This video delves into common misconceptions about handling avoidant behavior and explores why traditional methods of endless patience and space can backfire spectacularly.

If you're struggling with an avoidant partner or facing relationship challenges, Adam's insights can be invaluable. This miniseries aims to debunk myths and offer practical solutions for nurturing authentic and fulfilling relationships, even with an avoidant partner.

This transcript is part of a comprehensive series tied to the launch of Adam's course, "How to Love an Avoidant Man," which provides actionable steps for overcoming avoidant behaviors and fostering genuine emotional bonds. If you're ready to transform your relationship dynamic, explore the course linked in the description below.

🔗 Course Link: [How to Love an Avoidant Man - Early Bird Special]:

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Chapters:
00:00:00 - Can You Save Your Relationship with an Avoidant Man?
00:03:08 - The Fear of Losing Independence and Oxytocin Phobia
00:06:01 - Avoidant Men and the Need for Space
00:09:04 - Giving Space to an Avoidant Man
00:12:03 - The Problem with Giving Avoidant Men Time and Space
00:15:03 - Miscommunication and Misunderstanding
00:18:00 - The Dangers of Ignoring Emotional Needs in a Relationship
00:21:15 - Understanding his Risk Assessment Mindset
00:24:15 - The Importance of Bonding with an Avoidant Partner
00:27:30 - How to Keep Your Avoidant Man Committed

[AttachmentAdam]

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

If you want to learn to build a fulfilling lifelong relationship with the man you love, and help him understand and cherish you in return, pick up your copy right now and write a happy ending to your love story!

[tarothijadevenus]

Don’t stay for games. If he’s pulling away, let him lost. Don’t try to fix him. It’s not your son or your science project

[lady]

Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it makes it forget.

[balnirokli]

as much as I listen videos like this I realize that I dont need avoidant man any more !Thank you! I dont need a man who escape from me, no thanks.

[jolenegan]

i appreciate that Adam is saying we shouldn’t give in to them wanting ice cream (distance) all the time, but wanting to connect causes them to pull away violently as well, calling them out on their behaviour is taken as an attack no matter how patient you are or how repetitively you remind them that you don’t blame them. damned if you do, damned if you don’t

[aurakl]

You should make videos on how they can cure themselves because this is not another persons responsibility.

[RitaP]

We're Not Their Mommies. The Responsibility for fixing their behavior is on Them.

[shayogirl]

I’m so glad the comments are full of people tired of the BS 😂

[sasasetti]

I just can't do it. I can't be a mind ninja, mind reader, ultra mindful nurturing person catering to his childhood wounds. I have childhood wounds too, and that's why I go out of my way to be considerate. Save yourself the work so you can grow and have the satisfying relationship that resonates with you. The avoidant wants to AVOID work, therefore they don't deserve your love. PERIOD. They need therapy.

[debbiewitthoft]

I now understand why the fearful avoidant guy I was dating told me he thought I was controlling. When I asked him to give me some examples, he couldn't. I am a secure attachment and dating this person was exhausting for me. He told me he didn't think we were a good match, I said fine and haven't talked to him since. Avoidant men need to work on their attachment wounds and heal their emotional trauma.

[Chroma_hologram_spellbreaker]

Your solution is to basically build a whole man. Just so he can show up and give you flowers.

[EllieM_Travels]

Glad you brought up infidelity. A guy friend of mine used to call me every time his fiancé would “give him his space” to see if I’d sleep with him. 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️ I told him he either needs to love her or leave her. He married her and cheats.

[thewholeyou]

Adam did you hear what you said that she is sitting there wondering if she should chase him and he is sitting there, wondering, if she will chase him.That makes no damn sense.Ladies just heal yourselves and get with a secure man who doesn't make you do mental gymnastics. Ladies, we have to stop letting men play with us and our faces because of their own inadequacies, they can go and do the healing work on their own.And if not then why would we want to be with them. Listening to this stressed me out. Just how I was stressed out in the avoidant relationship. Please run ladies fast! Love yourself more. ❤❤

[OlderWomenRock]

He is afraid of my feelings, the idea of a relationship stresses Him
Last time He came back then Ghosted
I haven’t reached out . I can’t handle His lack of emotional intimacy
I need more . I’ve let Him run this time
He is hard work

[Grace_Psychology]

As an anxious attachment, when they want space I just want to be closer and I end up being “too much”

[karynmartin]

Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. It gives you room to cheat!

[silkyslim]

Thanks for the information. Avoidant men are not for me. This sounds dysfunctional and I don’t have the energy or desire to deal with this.

[priscillaallen]

Thanks for this at last. I kept hearing on YouTube to be patient... they will come back just give them space. A couple of months after I went no contact at the request of my avoidant-ex he took his own life. Even since I have been troubled about how I could have prevented the tragedy. I now realise that the man could not love and I was not a part of what overwhelmed him. They seem so strong but are on the edge of despair. No wonder women are so drawn to them.

[AYKAY]

Let him leave.. avoidant dismissive men are horrific partners.

[marietasmit]

That is so true, tied of trying to give him all the space, he gives one sentence answers, greyrocking, silent treatment, stonewalling and it kills me!!😢😢😢😢😢