Why Giving Your Partner SPACE Is Important For A Relationship | Esther Perel

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[arvintagabuan]

Every relationship straddles freedom and commitment, togetherness and separateness, connection and independence … in every relationship there is often one person who is more inclined to the connection and one person who is more inclined for the separateness one person afraid of losing the other and one person more afraid of losing themselves, one person more in touch of the fear of abandonment, one person more in touch with the fear of suffocation … we all have both but we organize our relationship … seasonal

[EzeICE]

I don't think it's so much as being "apart" but it's important to have other interests, hobbies and/or activities that's separate from your partner. While it's great in doing a lot together (shared experiences, trips, etc), it's good to have "your own things"
It makes the bond much stronger

[ListenTuShelly]

Can I also just say IT IS OKAY to have an anxious attachment style and make your needs for intimacy and closeness known to a partner willing to meet your needs while you move towards a more secure attachment style.

[ericlee]

Communication is key more than anything

[MadameKween]

Esther is dropping some gems here. Equity vs Equality in relationships.

[kyrareneeLOA]

And this part is so me... 7:17. That is priceless to a healthy relationship. It does not mean you will lose the partner or they will cheat, quite the opposite, you can lose me if I do not have enough alone time. Someone in my presence needing from me too much, day in, day out feels like they are taking my life force away. 😟. I need to be free to think my thoughts and go within.

[thejourneyhome]

as i became more self aware and understood better my needs, i became way better at communicating those, and i love how I can tell him easily i need some space today, or ask him if he would love some space, ... safe space is such an underrated thing for real, same as he s very good in giving me space to express my feelings and emotions, he doesn t want to solve he just grants me space to voice them, so i can hear myself and selfreflect on the things i said, ...

For me personally it has been the thing i was lacking in any other relationship, ... i feel so blessed with this and express my gratitude each time he holds space for me, ... it made me such a better communicator, and listener (I wasn t always very good at that) yet he set that example, and as i loved it so much i followed his lead, ...🙏

[yushi]

Meeting someone who is a fan of Esther Penel is already a good tips that your relationship will go well.

[Established__]

I’ve been trying to figure out how to have this conversation with my wife. I’ve touched on it briefly but didn’t go in much detail. However, I know that I’m the one in our marriage, who needs the most space. We both work remote and she loves it. I don’t like it as much because I enjoy being out and it makes me feel more productive with my day. Also, I’m more reserved and introverted and need space and time to re-energize myself, but my wife is talkative and very bubbly and loves attention.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I prefer to have more silence during work hours. Having space and time away from each other is healthy, I believe. I think it would allow us to miss each other more and look forward to coming back together.

[harlembrown]

How many coupes these days are mature and disciplined enough to accomplish this? Wish there were more people like her coaching couples.

[GoGoGirl]

freedom changes in a relationship when you have economic independence

[evansaforo]

The last part is so true. Watch how people relate to others when they’re being so super nice to you.

[shrutikansal]

Thanks a lot Lewis for doing these interviews.

I am moving on from a relationship, after being ghosted for months, after he lost his parents.

I learnt a lot from this conversation, tremendously helped me evaluate where I made the mistakes, understand the dynamics better and what I need to go in my next relationship which hopefully I will have some day.
Thank you again for bringing this to us!

[travelwithchopsticks]

Relationships are too much work, just be happy with yourself and live the life that you want.

[internetgirl]

That last part about bringing your partner to other people to see how interact with them...some people act differently publicly than with their partner. My father for example would be super friendly with other people but completely different at home when he with us.

[moua]

I love Esther's work. So immensely helpful for me and my relationship

[katarzynalindner]

It is so tasty to listen to mindful and wise conversation...
Thank you.

[bellabella]

I am such a huge fan of her.
Her insight and the ability to unfold her deep thoughts!!!!it.s beautifully spoken. Core penetrating truth😍

[wilsonricharda]

As someone who got married well into my late 40s and having been with my wife now for 6+ years, I've sometimes struggled to explain this to my wife for fear of having her think that I don't enjoy spending time with her.

[maylynbayani]

My husband and I have our "me time" which we can invoke anytime, anywhere, at any circumstance and we respect each other's nees for space. My husband is introverted and he needs some time to himself.