How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking | Big Think

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking
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There are a number of myths surrounding public performance that spoken-word poet and co-founder of Project Voice Sarah Kay helps to dispel. Perhaps the chief myth is that you can't both be nervous and enjoy the experience of public speaking. In reality, being nervous is an inevitable part of the experience, but understanding why the audience came to see you — they just want to have fun — can help conquer your fear. Kay has plenty of tips and tricks that will make you feel more comfortable on stage and in the process of preparing your performance or speech. Some artists try to zone out while they’re performing. Perhaps because it is strange to be the spectacle, to know that everyone in the room has their eyes on them, ears on them, hoping they’ll be great but squinting hard to catch mistakes. It’s easier to go through a speech imagining all the audience in their underwear, just as embarrassed and ashamed. But it's not better. Button Poetry alumni Jesse Parent and Neil Hilborn stay similarly attuned to their audience. They can tell when the audience is getting sucked in. Jesse Parent listens to the laughter in the audience, and holds off on continuing his poetry until it dies down, reacting to the whoops and cheers of the people listening. It’s such moments that capture something deeply mesmerizing: honesty. Kay thinks those unplanned moments are when the truth comes out. When an accident happens on stage, it’s the most authentic and real thing about the whole show. That’s the moment of connection between the watcher and the speaker. It’s the speaker’s job to create an experience for every member in the audience, and while this can be incredibly hard, especially as Kay recalls performing for 3000 people, it isn’t impossible. But to do it, you can’t imagine your audience isn’t there, and can’t pretend they’re too busy being humiliated in their underwear to be paying attention. They are looking at you. Face it. Smile back. Kay refines her performances by listening and paying attention to every person in the audience. As Jesse Parent holds up his hand to acknowledge the people in the audience, Kay remarks on the person in the red sweater and jokes on their surroundings or the news of the day to show everyone that this is a moment, not just a speech.
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SARAH KAY:
Sarah Kay is a poet from New York City who has been performing her spoken word poetry since she was fourteen years old. She was a featured poet on HBO’s “Russell Simmons presents Def Poetry Jam” in 2006, and that year she was also the youngest poet to compete in the National Poetry Slam. Since then, Sarah has shared her poetry in venues and classrooms around the world. She is perhaps best known for her talk at the 2011 TED conference, which garnered two standing ovations and has been seen over seven million times online. Sarah holds a Masters Degree in The Art of Teaching from Brown University, and an Honorary Doctorate in Humane Letters from Grinnell College. Her first book, “B” was ranked #1 Poetry Book on Amazon. Her newest book, “No Matter the Wreckage,” is also an Amazon Bestseller in American Poetry. Other poems and articles have been published in CURA Magazine, The Writer Magazine, Thrush, Treehouse Magazine, Union Station Magazine, the Huffington Post, CNN.com, and many more. Sarah is a passionate educator who has lead professional development workshops and been a featured presenter at education conferences such as the IBO, NAIS, ECIS, and AISA.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Sarah Kay: Certainly when I think about performance in the classroom we focus on performance as process and not performance as product. I think a lot of times people think about performance only as the last step and it’s the final presentation and they get one shot and they can’t mess it up. And that just raises the stakes so unnecessarily around something that is already kind of scary. But instead if we think about what is the process of performance. Process of performance involves risk taking. It involves vulnerability. Involves experimenting. Involves joy. Involves wanting to be here. Involves the audience. Involves who are you talking to, what are you saying, how can you best communicate all of those things. What are the strategies and performance you can use so that your audience receives exactly what you want them to. .......

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Focus on the process and the result will come. Another thing that helps is re-framing anxiety as excitement

MarioTomicOfficial
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How I overcame my fear of public speaking.

I stopped caring when I gave my speech.

drunkenrampage
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What a wonderful talk by the lovely Ms Kay. Good to see Big Think aren't just about *_sciencey_* talks and open the door for liberated women like Sarah.

Spoken-word poetry is my absolute favorite form of spoken poetry. Keep it up Sarah, proud of you.

Kind Regards,
Wyatt Nite

weefeatures
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Practice is key. When I'm doing a big presentation for the first time I'm quite nervous. If I'm doing the same presentation a 2nd time I already know what to say and 80% of the nervousness is gone.
And I get better cause I can fix any mistakes I felt like I made the first time.
So if you're gonna have a big presentation, try to do it twice. Ask some friends, or some other department of your school/company if they are interested in hearing a first version of your presentation.

BenRangel
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Yeah you're exactly right. People aren't concerned about me messing up, they just want to enjoy themselves. Therefore putting even more pressure in the back of my mind to be interesting. I have really really bad anxiety, simply thinking these things won't fix it. It just comes with trial and error and that's hard to break through sometimes.

MrhibyeTV
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I totally agree about projecting positive energy. The best way to prepare yourself for public speaking is simply to be prepared. Know what you are talking about inside and out. I prefer to make bullet points to remind myself of what subjects I am going to cover. I don't prepare a speech, but I know what points I need to make and I speak from the heart.

AdultsSwim
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She's absolutely right. My college advisor gave me this exact advice months ago and ever since I've implemented this thought process, my presentations have been noticeably better

mastershake
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The fear of public speaking usually starts in school, where the audience (classmates) often don't want to be there, unlike going to a performance, they don't care about what you're about to say (who cares about the book you've (not) read) and it generally doesn't matter how well you've prepared the subject, because the grade is mostly based on whether you can talk coherently without pauses.
The problem isn't feeling alone, it is being the centre of attention when most of the audience give a fuck about your feelings.
College, for me, fixed it, but schools need to change the curriculum. It is not an irrational fear. It is often based in personal experience.

irisachternaam
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I was part of a choir very early on in life and I sang in theaters like the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam under famous conductors like Valery Gergiev. I have sung solo as well.

I guess my stage fright is just muted because of that. I'm just used to turning that energy into enjoyment and performance and just go with the flow of things.

dvklaveren
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I've always had a fear of public speaking, still have, but in my quest of improving myself I got involved in a debate committee at University. I've now arranged multiple debates, with top politicians and scientists in the panel, and I've stood and talked in front of hundreds of people. It still scares me, which is why I always make sure to have a tall chair behind me to lean on, because my feet won't carry me.

Bungie
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Am I the only one who gets far more entertainment out of watching a live performance go horribly wrong?

BridgewaterLatino
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Great advice, beeing in the process reduces your anxiety for public speaking 😀

mujicconsulting
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Separate yourself being the thing being said, accept the role of the speaker, practice and rehearse in front of friends, breathe deep and slow

alee
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When a performer messes up on stage the audience generally feels his embarrassment and wants him to succeed!

TiberiusStorm
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Has anyone every been to a Toastmasters event? That's a great way if building speech confidence .

tomormiston
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Simple for me ; Be prepared and let it go.  The rest follows.

pierretruchon
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2:00 "... aha I knew it. You suck!" lol

JustTheHighlights
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like the way she smiles while talking, it is also giving a positive impact over to the audience.

sorrymytube
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I liked the intro, Performance as process instead of product. I think the educational system could improve from such a point of view but it would be so hard to implement.

deathdude
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Take 2-4 shots before speaking. Get a little buzz going and you won't be nervous to speak at all, and your mind will still be there.

brandonkervin